I once heard a phrase, “There is nothing so powerful as an idea whose time has come.” So on this day, in which the Supreme Court of the United States legalized gay marriage, I say it is true. “There is nothing so powerful as an idea whose time has come” and the time for people being allowed to marry people they love has finally arrived in the United States of America.
I would normally ask, “what took so long?” but I know the reality is that long term change takes time. Because It’s difficult to extract ourselves from our deeply held belief systems that we think are real. The belief systems we feel so strongly to be true, absolute, just. The one’s mommy and daddy told us that god believes in too.
Like the idea that same sex people having sex is not natural. Not normal. Against god. For a moment there, I thought the battle was going to be a lot longer. But something happened in our culture in the last few years. A big change. Millennials didn’t give a fuck about strait or gay. “Love is love,” became the way.
Maybe it was the unlimited access to porn - including gay porn. Maybe it was awareness of bullying and what it’s like to feel different inside. Maybe it was folks just coming out in such numbers that even the most conservative people had to question their most deeply held beliefs about what exactly “normal” is.
Whatever the reason, in the last few years there was massive a cultural sea change. And I’m happy to bear witness to this historic day because this is the moment when the world will have changed forever. This is the beginning of the moment where, one day in the future, people will look back and actually find it hard to remember a time when people did not see gay marriage as legal, moral or just. This is that moment.
Having grown up in the gay mecca of New York City in my young childhood, I've always seen the underlying reality that people are people. Two of my most important male roll models were Fred and Steve - they were a gay couple who were not allowed to legally marry. But they made my unbearable childhood more bearable. They owned a little shop on 76th street called The Butterfly 8. It was a cool, hippy hole in the wall storefront - right next door to an old mafia club.
Fred and Steve would let me sit in the back of the store after school - when my mom was gone - and let me paint and draw. They encouraged my creativity. They cultivated my sensitivity. And they never shamed me for being scared or crying or for feeling my emotions of loss I had from my dad intentionally removing himself from my life.
They both saw me in a way that my own father was not even capable of. The Butterfly 8, and the art table in the back of the store, was my refuge from the gritty, scary city streets. From bullying. From abuse. Fred and Steve taught me art, culture, tolerance and kindness. And never once did I even understand they were “gay.”
They were just two sweet human beings in love with each other. Fred and Steve taught me that there is no moral reality to gay or straight. The reality is that we are all just humans and how we pair is irrelevant.
The whole misguided idea that some people, based on sexual orientation, should be allowed to touch each other's genitals and get married - and other people should not be allowed to touch each others genitals and get married - is ludicrous and completely based on cultural mythology about what is right.
We can imagine living hundreds of thousands of years ago without all those cultural myths rules and laws in place - and just see people sharing pleasure, much like our cousins, the bonobo monkeys do today. Gay or straight doesn't exist. Just the sharing of pleasure. No violence. No murder. Pleasure, community and more pleasure bonding.
So on this day, I’m happy to say, we finally get to honor ourselves in the spirit of our nearest ape cousin, the bonobos, and make same sex marriage legal for all people in America.
Legal for Americans to love who they want to love and fuck who they want to fuck and marry who they want to marry. To that, I say let’s raise a glass to more hot ass and more fucking. And to “gay” marriage. Congratulations, Supreme Court of the United States, you have officially entered the 21st century.