This Mia Khalifa story has gotten to me. She’s the latest “porn star” to get her 15 minutes of fame – this time for doing sex scenes wearing a hajib. Which I suppose is meant to be a “F you” to that culture. Although some of my fellow sex-positive feminist friends have called her “Bad Ass” for stepping out, I'm not so sure she's a bad ass.
She's 21 and has her whole life ahead of her. Yes, it might be exciting to be the #1 porn star on Pornhub today and she might be making a profound statement about equal rights for women, but I wouldn't want that for my own daughter. I know what it's been like to be a webcam model (starting in my 40s). It changes you. It changes your outlook. At 21, I didn't have the capacity to stay centered while I perform like today. Even now, some days it's trying.
Men will pay to see anything. It can be a slippery slope. I used to have a cross hanging in my room where I cam. Guys would ask me to penetrate myself with it. That was a "No". Guys also ask me to use the "N" word while I'm virtually screwing them. That's a "No" also. They have asked to see me do canine. Uh..."Hell No". And there's guys who have told me about having sex with small children...that's a call to the authorities.
My purpose/mission is to show up in my authenticity and to educate while I entertain. I want to give my fans an opportunity to hang out with a real woman. I take what I glean from sex educators like Dodson & Ross and others who positively influence me and share that with my audience. I think I'm offering something valuable - a real time experience. I’m not faking orgasms, nor am I being rubbed raw. What's Mia doing? She’s getting fucked on video. Yes, she’s young, hot, and controversial. But I worry about her future. Hell, I worry about my own. Once you're exposed, you're exposed.
News reports say she has gotten death threats. I pray she is okay and that she isn't waking up at 3:00am feeling scared. What will probably happen now that she’s gotten mass media attention, Vivid Entertainment could offer her a large sum to make a sex tape for them (news reports for others like her have said as much as $1 million, but I doubt that's really happening). So she might do that, then she’ll be back to doing normal every day porn for $1,000 - $1200 a scene until she wears herself out. Probably a 5 year career. Then what? Who will be her support system then? She will have alienated herself from her family and home. It's really messed up. The porn biz uses and abuses women. Then again, who am I to point fingers? We are all interconnected in this world wide web. And I don’t want to take away her agency. I don’t know the real Mia and I have no idea what’s possible for her. As a *sister* I wish for her the very best.
I guess it all comes down to outlook. We can take each situation as a chance to pause and reflect. Are we using and abusing? Or are we supporting each other for the highest good? I want to see women supporting other women, men supporting men, and peace on earth. The best thing I know to do right now is to keep doing myself. Global peace…one self-pleasuring session at a time.