Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Very excited for you!! Good luck...Keep us posted on what happens :)

Hi, I hope your personal drama is settling down some and you're feeling better now. Personally, I've really gotten away from labelling myself or others. I just think we have thousands of more possibilities for choosing friends and lovers if we let ourselves react naturally to the "whole person" we're attracted to, regardless of gender or label. I know this isn't so easy in our culture, where everybody wants to classify everybody else, but I still think it opens us up to relating to people as they really are, without the baggage of preconceived notions.

Best of luck in finding that open-hearted relationship. I don't know if you'd ever be comfortable giving oral sex to a guy, but if he happens to be good at going down on you, maybe you'd consider reciprocating at some point. One caution, though---if he's really a professor and you're his student, he could conceivably get into fairly serious trouble for having a relationship with you. You might want to check out the university's policies about such things. It may not be a deal-breaker or make a relationship impossible, but if you really like him you might want to consider this.

thanks patrick (: that's true, I would still definitely consider it and try it, just doubt I would like it hahaha.

and yes, I think it's better to react to the person as a whole rather than their genitals too.. it's so much easier having a straightforward label but blah what can you do? people and sexuality just isn't that simple

anyway it's definitely against the college policy.. I'm not going to push anything until the end of the term. I could definitely see it ending up weird if things didn't work out and I still had to be in his class. however I'm still open to rampant flirting and getting to know each other until then, of course

Hi, yes I think labels make us feel more at ease even if they can't possibly do justice to how complex we human beings are. But like you say, it's better not to put ourselves or others in a box. Sexuality can be pretty fluid and shift around during a lifetime. My personal belief is that we all have significant female and male aspects to ourselves. It's just that some of us suppress them and some of us become open to noticing them, and find those sides of ourselves interesting rather than threatening.

Regarding oral sex on a guy, it's nice you're keeping an open mind! Honestly, something that in general might not appeal to you at all might feel different in the moment with someone you really, REALLY like. Who knows? So good luck with your budding relationship. :)  Obviously you've given it a lot of thought and have a plan for keeping it safe for both of you.

Hi Jex..I am pretty new to the forum.  I enjoy reading the blog posts and responses.  They often provide me with new insight about how other people really feel about sex, relationships, exploration, love and more.  Fortunately, I've also found that I can relate to many a blog/member response!
In reading this particular blog entry, what came to mind (and usually does at least 1x a week) is Freud's position on sex/gender/preference.  His theory is that we are all born bisexual, which makes sense since before we are even able to recognize whether a child will be born male or female, the sex organ of every zygote before the "choice" is determined, is a vagina.  Based on major deciding factors like ethnic background, cultural "norms," societal "norms," religious tradition, etc., we are "formed" to believe and behave in certain ways that are acceptable, and to fit within particular socially constructed roles - and this is where I think the problem might lie. 
Just because we might be biologically male/female, does not mean that we fit into these constructed gender roles.  I cannot tell you how many times my mom changed a light bulb, put together an entire livingroom set, used a "manhammer," etc., while my dad who probably possesses the world's softest hands, has no idea - and NO INTEREST in doing any of these so-called male role duties.  Why, he is more of a metrosexual if you ask me.  He's the one who spends 2 hours in the bathroom getting ready and then another hour prep'ng in the bedroom, making sure that every hair on his head is in place and that he smells supreme.  My mom, out of the tub in 10 minutes..."what's the 2 hour thing about?" she always asks my dad.  "Why does it take so long to simply wash your privates?" she continues.  Ha, ha, ha..
Although my relationships for the most part have been heterosexual, I can't say that there is a day that goes by when I don't think about being with a woman.  It's a feeling that I have always had.  I think most of us do..
In removing "your" label, I think you might have certainly opened yourself up (with no bars) to simply trying love...with anyone (male or female) that makes you feel SOMETHING.
Good luck to you, Jex..it all sounds really wonderful and very exciting!
Cheers -
Kiiiiiiiiim (really, just Kim)

Hi. Just wanted to correct a couple of pretty big factual errors here. You write:

"the sex organ of every zygote before the "choice" is determined, is a vagina.  "

A zygote does not have sex organs. Zygote is the name of the fertilized egg cell. It doesn't last long, as it starts to divide itself and aquires different names to match the different stages of development.

There is no "choice" made concerning the sex of the baby. It's decided by the chromosonal setup of the sperm. The baby's sex is therefore decided immediatly upon conception, although the genitals don't start to take form until later in the fetal period (11th week of pregnancy). It's a popular miscomprehension that all embryos first have female sexual organs that than might change into males. That is not the case. It has neither, only the default mass of cells.