Home » Blogs » Jessica Kramer's blog

The Mother is the One Delivering the Baby

Tue, 02/07/2012 - 09:51
Submitted by Jessica Kramer

Here are two stories from the same day about dad's delivering their own babies. We hear these stories pretty frequently - mom labors so quickly she ends up birthing in the car, at home, on the subway with no one there to help except the father....or the train conductor, or cab driver, etc.

I like these little stories. Sweet and human reminders that when left alone, it usually works just perfectly and with a fun story.

In the second of these two stories the reporter says things were going so fast, "dad pulled over...and delivered baby HIMSELF!"

Here's the bone I have to pick with all these stories and almost every birth story I hear about, quite frankly:

Did that dad really deliver that baby himself?! Actually, no, mom delivered that baby HERSELF!  Did the father end up delivering the baby instead of the midwife?

And I'm always hearing about the "doctor who delivered my baby", the "midwife who delivered my baby", "who delivered your baby?", etc. Some might see this as semantics, but I can't let it go.

The mother is the one delivering the baby!

She is birthing her baby. A doctor or midwife may assist in the birth in the birth of the baby when assistance is needed. But the vast majority of the time, the expert present is simply holding her/his hands to allowing the baby to emerge into the world with support. One term for this is "catching the baby". As in, the mother is birthing her baby and someone is there to assist in receiving the baby. And especially in the situation of a mother's labor progressing so quickly or obstacles that prevent the care provider from arriving - the only one doing any delivering here is the mother herself (and actually, so is the baby - who moves, pushes and twists to emerge in the ideal position).

I get so frustrated that the credit goes to the person who is there receiving the baby, making that person out to be a hero, acting as though the mother was a passive participant. On the contrary - shouldn't these mamas be the ones getting the credit? Isn't she the heroine of this story?

Who delivers a baby? The mother herself! Or as a midwife friend of mine likes to say "Pizzas are delivered, babies are born."

Liberating Birth
http://www.resourcebirth.com/index.html

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Jessica, I feel the same way when we speak of a woman

Betty Dodson's picture
Tue, 02/07/2012 - 11:23
Betty Dodson

having an orgasm. Did she have it or was it given to her by her lover? Her partner might have assisted her. but she had her own orgasm. She is the author of her own ecstasy while a partner only assists. What is all this crap about women being helpless anyway? Are we unable to do anything on our own? In my mind, it's just a lot of jealousy about women's natural power.

Indeed, Betty, when you speak

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 23:39
Jessica Kramer

Indeed, Betty, when you speak of women's natural power, this is what is so utterly clear when witnessing a woman in labor. The profound and natural power that becomes evident when you see a woman's ability to touch into the vulnerability of labor and birth and to birth a being from within her is nothing less than amazing. Just as a partner assists in an orgasm, the supports around a woman in labor are usually experienced as pivotal, but ultimately, she does it. To fully acknowledge the deep, primal, animalist, and sexual power would be to shatter the perception of women as fragile and helpless.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.