Vaginal Orgasm & The Power of Appreciation

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 18:08
Submitted by Eric Amaranth

Here is my comment on the article discussing the study that may indicate women who have orgasms during intercourse live longer. Here is a link to the article itself.

My comment to this article is significant because it mentions some aspects of one of the concepts that I will be addressing in my forthcoming book, working title, The Power of Appreciation: That using the term "vaginal orgasm" is not the best designation to use to refer to female orgasms triggered via the insertion (and manipulation) of objects and/or anatomy into the vaginal canal.

Humorously enough, the article indicated that a responent to the article's writer, Howard S. Friedman, Ph.D., asked if men were living longer if they were having orgasms during intercourse. Hilariously ironic. As they say in the e-vernacular, I LOL'ed.


For those new to my blog, I write on my and others' sex life, in erotica form, because many of us need only read of an example of what really is possible. It so often lights a desire to "Want to do that. Feel that." They want to learn how to have better sex through sex advice and sex education, maybe for the first time in their lives. I also intend to present to my readers the reality of great sex from basic to advanced. Finally, ever wonder how good the sex that your sex therapist is having in their own sex life? I have. I'm not a sex therapist, I don't do sex therapy. I'm a sex life coach. I teach and I do.

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Sex life coaching and neo-male perspectives.

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Does the source of the orgasm really matter?

Sun, 02/13/2011 - 22:18
Jenikyula (not verified)

Perhaps I am missing something, but why would orgasming only through partner sex differ from orgasming while masturbating? An orgasm is an orgasm, isn't it? Whether you get there with the help of a dildo, vibrator, penis, vulva, fingers, or whatever else. Perhaps the marriage factor is irrelevant; the real conclusion is simply that women who take interest in their sexuality and who make an effort to be more orgasmic live longer, husband be damned.

My guess is that many women in the study rated their sex lives as average because they did not receive proper sex education, which you mentioned in your post. The Longevity Project seems to be biased; the scientists are obviously in favor of monogamy and marriage, and I think they are selecting data that solely support their conservative views. To be truly thorough in their study, they should have a control group made up of women who have never been married, women who have had many sexual partners, and gay women. And all of the women in the study should be exposed to the same sexual knowledge. 

It's really frustrating when people make grand claims based on dubious studies. =/ 

Obvious answer?

Mon, 02/14/2011 - 03:28
Fond Care

The more I think about it the more questions I get:
 - do people who have more orgasms live longer?
 - do people in committed relationships live longer? what about being committed to a whole village, or a sports team?
However perhaps its really that people who repress their sexuality, and hence have fewer orgasms, live shorter lives. That might not surprise many of us.

I agree, my thoughts:

Eric Amaranth's picture
Mon, 02/14/2011 - 08:28
Eric Amaranth

I agree with both of you that many sex scientists have biases like monogamous heterosexual marriage vs other life paths and try to find out if there is a benefit toward the conservative/traditional path over others. That they set up a study and make a claim like monogamy produced such and such effect when it was actually something else or combination of several factors, or that monogamy happend to be significant for the given couple or couples psychologically. It's like saying the car runs fast, is fuel efficient, and responds well because the paint on it is the color blue or that the tires are rubber. Again, as I've blogged on in the past, a scientist's lack of sexual sophistication making massive impacts on the entire process of their application of the scientific model.

To Jenikyula, the reason why we must go further than "an orgasm is an orgasm" will be made clear in my book. ;) It's one of the principles I teach to my clients all the time. It's not that I disagree that an orgasm is an orgasm, it's that there's more; granting the woman, or man, greater capability for more orgasms and different kinds.

Data from the wives of the 40s?

ChrisOnline's picture
Tue, 02/15/2011 - 15:27

What am I to think of a study using
data from the wives of the 40s asking about their sex lives? Are we expected to
trust their understanding of orgasm, as Eric pointed out, or believe their responses
were honest, when their sex education was so limited and their sense of self
worth, as a group, was WAY over dependent on the society’s judgment of them as good
wives?  The article describes these women
as bright, yet bright women can still be ignorant. How can educated scientists,
who now have a much richer understanding of female sexual response, use the
group’s "Orgasm adequacy of wives” result and
apply it in a modern context, let alone write an entire book about it?

I waited to comment

Wed, 03/02/2011 - 07:05
Marrena (not verified)

Didn't want to cause any disturbance.
I know we disagree on this.  Vaginal orgasms are very different from clitoral orgasms.  Completely different sensation.  Different type of orgasm.  Now of course some women can have vaginal orgasms from clitoral stimulation (from simultaneously flexing their PC muscles) and some lucky women can have clitoral orgasms from vaginal stimulation, but as you know, I strongly believe that women who easily have vaginal orgasms from vaginal stimulation have certain physiological markers--a certain balance of hormones and neurotransmitters.
Might it not be that those physiological traits are also tied to longevity?
I don't know why it bothers me so much that I want to convince you in particular that I know what I am talking about.  I should let it go.

Vaginal orgasms

Eric Amaranth's picture
Wed, 03/02/2011 - 11:59
Eric Amaranth

I do not use the term, "vaginal orgasm" anymore. I teach my clients instead to orgasm via stimulation of specific points inside the vagina. Non-specific friction alone inside the birth canal by whatever object does not create physical body-based orgasms in the vast majority of women and to those women (and men) who claim it does happen, congratulations. When they can find a way to teach that to the vast majority of women and convince those of us like me, I'll be on board with teaching and supporting it as well. Not before.

I agree with your work with omega 3's, Marrena, but when I see that applied to women who try it, at my suggestion, none who I have direct contact with, have been successful with this form of stimulation producing orgasms as I and they see orgasms. Stronger pre-existing clitoral and other orgasms, yes. More sex drive, yes. Not, however, a rising into being of dozens of vaginal friction-induced orgasms. We'll have to continue to agree to disagree.