Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Betty asked me to blog on the issue of men with desensitized penises due to stimulation created during their selfloving that is too strong. Then, when the time comes for vaginal, oral, or anal sex stimulation against the penis, these men have a hard time or cannot reach orgasm at all without withdrawing and having their climax with the fast, hard squeezing technique they use for manual sex and selfloving.
I'm adding a paragraph here from my original post to mention the relevance of this to relationships. In many cases, women will come to a conclusion that he doesn't want her anymore, or if she begins the relationship this way, she wants the moment of her lover, monogamous or non, coming inside her. It's intimate and very hot for many women (under optimal conditions) and also a validation of feminine ego. A short aside, I instruct women clients to strengthen how they skillfully manage their unique version of ego, the same as I counsel men with understanding the positives and unnoticed negatives of masculine ego robbing them of their best sex possible. So people think it always has to do with desire for their partner. It can, admittedly, because I prefer to mention the hard truths as well as the good news, but it can also depend on purely physical and mental focus reasons such as this blogpost details. Knowing that can make big changes to big problems.
As I talked about in a previous blog post, my hands, which had gotten rougher from working out at the gym and having my hands in water for dishwashing, handwashing, whatever (don't have a machine where I live) made noticible abrasive marks on the coronal ridge of my penis.These marks are slightly redder in color than the surrounding tissue and correspond to points around the circumference with greater toughness, like where a fingertip or thumbtip lies. They can be sore to the touch afterwards where as with my lovers, their bodies and hands never created that effect.
Also, as I said in the above-referenced blog post, orgasms were harder to achieve during condomed vaginal sex and sometimes even condom-free. I have been using the Fleshlight, which you can order here (I recommend the gold-encased STU model), since that post for 95% of my selfloving and I have noticed a return of sensitivity and ease of orgasm with and without a condom. The little red marks have gone away as well. The fleshlight does not create the red marks either. I've never heard these marks discussed before. I'd like to hear from men if they have noticed this.
Here are a few other tips I teach my clients for increasing penis sensitivity:
1. Use a good quality lubricant in addition to saliva or precome. I don't recommend soap in the shower as that can irritate the urethral opening. Never masturbate regularly with water as the only lubricant. Use silicone based lubes for water sex of any kind.
2. Concentrate on what your penis is feeling. Focus on it. Like you would when you savor a great bite of perfectly-seasoned steak. Then, when you get good at that, do that at the same time you savor your partner's body, beauty, sights, sounds and smells. That boosts your turn on. Turn on and focus on penis pleasure is a great combination.
3. A woman's vaginal muscle strength does have an effect on penis stimulation. Men and women both need PC muscle exercising as part of their workout routenes for eath other. Also, squeezing your PC muscle tight will puff the head of the penis (the glans) up with more blood, which in short, makes the pleasure the glans is experiencing stronger. Keeping your PC relaxed will keep it smaller. When you are rock hard, it may make your penis 100% already, which feels great. When you squeeze your PC at that point, you get 110%, more pleasure, and the woman will love that swell inside her. If your PC muscles aren't yet strong enough to create that effect, start now. You'll get there.

If you love my writing and sex tips, here's where to donate. A portion will be contributed to the National Women's Health Network:

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