My Favorite MFM/Threesome Sex Positions & Different Orgasms

Sun, 01/17/2010 - 15:03
Submitted by Eric Amaranth

I read Svetlana Ivanonva's post on positions for threesomes with two men and one woman, known as MFM threesomes. Specifically heterosexual ones where the men do not share sexual congress and instead focus all the efforts on the woman. I've done a fair number of these in my past and present, so I wanted to give an experienced straight guy's perspective. I also want to say what I took issue with in her post. I have a strong focus on accuracy in sex education distributed on this site, as does Betty.

First, here's what I liked about it:

1. Svetlana mentions how (straight) men often have homophobia issues if they accidentally make contact with each other during the threesome in a sensuous way. Particularly, in reference to double penetration when one man is inside her vagina and the other inside her bum. If that is desired and attainable based on the woman's readiness for that and the sexual skills, lube quality, etc. of everyone involved. Their penises do not make contact, but they will feel each other moving inside her. The sensation I can attest is quite unique, but it can also not be noticed much at all. Outside of that very intimate contact, guys will have issues with cursory body contact. As long as both men have their energy and focus on her, and one is not being dishonest with his intentions and cops a feel or a diversion from the pre-agreed to sexual arrangement, I have absolutely no issue at all with contact. I had an MFM threesome where the man was bisexual and lost it in the heat of the moment and started stroking my body with his hands.

I nicely reminded him no, and he smiled then re-focused attention to her immediately, no issues. What I find the problem most often is finding a man who will work as a team with me, 100%. No losing it and suddenly turning a threesome into couple sex with a guy in the room with them. Then, it's no longer a threesome. If she wanted couple sex, she would have had sex with me or him or whomever by herself. The woman is there for a specific experience, thus, both men have to, as they say in the movies, become one: two penises, two heads, four hands, two big masculine energies that envelop her. Like one of those Indian gods with all the arms and heads. Now we know what they needed them for. ;)

There's much more to the details but you get the idea. I had a friend of mine with whom I'd pull off the best MFM's I've ever done. We used to sometimes high-five each other for how great a team we were and the pleasure we created for our woman out of that cohesion. Then we'd snuggle, her in the center, her as the focus. Of course, there are MFM's where it's agreed that both men ravish her, but there is still a mild cohesion, give and take, improvisation, or else they'd end up brawling.

2. I like how Svetlana mentions the two other positions for a woman receiving both cocks, one down below, and the other in her mouth. I remember reading a section of Nina Hartley's book, Total Sex where she talks about these positions and an erotic perspective for her where, and I paraphrase, it's hot to be filled with so much man above and below. A very powerful physical manifestation of the intention of doing nothing but receiving. Taking it all in because it is very much desired by the woman. Yin, sucking everything in. The feminine ego pleasure of being the center of attention, as Svetlana said; wowing and consuming the men inside her in full and loving every drop of that hunger for male. That as a different vibe from the men lording over her and overwhelming yin with tons of yang.

My lover Olivia can't wait for our first MFM threesome. Her desire to wow and be wowed by a man in her mouth and one in her pussy, the man in her cunt gripping her ass and spreading it open for the man pumping her from behind, whose hands in turn grip and hold fast her curly hair for the man in the back of her throat. Then, soaking herself from the build up and the anticipation of feeling both males coming inside her.

In contrast, there are women who find this interaction in MFM to be distracting or too much going on in different places at once. She would rather have double penetration or giving head and hand to the two cocks in lust with her. She can also find the oral sex she's giving to be distracting from the pleasure she's giving herself while massaging her clitoris and taking cock from behind. However, some women love giving head while that's happening down below, not because she's trying to make the man in her mouth come, but because the feel of cock in her mouth and giving head makes her wet and more aroused. That way her orgasm, among many that evening, will be that much stronger.

3. I also liked how Svetlana is in touch with the fact that the larger penis in her vagina and the smaller in her ass is, for her, the way to go. I agree this is a great combination as Betty has said to me while we were having sex that the penis or dildo inside her bum often takes over in order of intensity from the one in her vagina. You don't want to have a threesome and then it feels not much different from couples sex. Having a sizeable vaginal presence along with a smaller or equal-sized cock in her ass balances the sometimes competing sensations out perfectly and sets her stage for the best of both worlds in harmony. For those of you at home, I can't wait to play with Olivia on Wed were I plan on creating with couple sex the threesome sensations with a 2 inch by 8 inch dildo in her vagina and me inside her ass.

Now, what I have issue with in Svetlana's post is her statement: "Try to keep your back arched slightly, either with your elbows up and locked or by holding on to the man you're giving oral to. That way, by pulling up on your hips and thrusting in a more downward motion, the first man can hit your G-spot . (G-spot stimulation is more likely than anything else to cause a strong, prolonged orgasm.)" My primary issue with this is it's not consistently accurate for the majority of women to claim that "g-spot stimulation is more likely than anything else to cause a strong, prolonged orgasm." That may be the case for Svetlana, and some other women out there who have strong erotic connections and relevancies to their g-spot. The clitoris is also quite capable of strong prolonged orgasms, to say the least.

To continue, there are many women who cannot, no matter what position they or their partner takes, have g-spot orgasms from vaginal intercourse for multiple reasons even if they can have them on their backs via manual stimulation. Those women need direct repeated pressure for g-spot orgasm or manual or sex toy-created friction. The friction provided by vaginal intercourse is insufficient for them. I've heard this tilting your hips up and the male doing downward thrusting in doggy in porn-based sex ed and many women's magazines. It's simply not consistent for the majority of women I've done it with, talked to about it, client feedback from my sex life consulting work and Betty's decades of sex coaching practice.

And those that it does work with, it's based on more precise intercourse techniques than a simple downward thrust. To speak further on the clitoris, the statment, "more likely than anything else" completely discounts the role and possibility of orgasm that the clitoris is capable of. The strengths of a woman's clit, when delved into, are considerable and are more accurately described as different from a g-spot orgasm than better. "Better" often comes when women are more proficient with one orgasm over another or interpret what they are feeling in their own unique way which cannot be felt by anyone else for confirmation. That goes for male orgasm as well. Many of us are aware of my differences with Betty with regards to how the two of us embrace the g-spot, however what we do share is a well-grounded understanding of the role of the clitoris in female orgasm and how the clitoris is, in our professional opinion, a more consistent source for orgasm than the g-spot across the majority of womankind based on our work, research, experience, and anecdotal evidence collected-- that it is with the clitoris that we teach women to begin orgasmic development.

To conclude, that we have never supported the common misinformation that g-spot orgasms are always bigger and better. What I teach is, the g-spot and its capabilities are no better, deeper, or more spiritual than those of the clitoris. The both have strong and light ranges of intensity and are parts of a single powerful, beautiful sex system with their own unique characteristics. If you still think one is better than the other, you may have more to learn and develop in the counterpart. Then combine them. ;)

I want to put a teaser out on an audio recording Betty and I want to make discussing the positions of the clitoris and the g-spot in our culture and the socio-cultural machinations, beliefs, and gender politics surrounding them. These are things she and I have discussed privately since I started learning from her in 1999. Stay tuned! Also, here is a link to part one of my new blog post on a favorite MFM threesome sex experience I had.

-Fin
 

For those new to my blog, I write on my sex life, in erotica form, because many of us need only read of an example of what really is possible. It so often lights a desire to "Want to do that. Feel that." A want to learn how to have better sex through sex education, consulting, and coaching, maybe for the first time in their lives. I also intend to present to my readers the reality of sex at any level of sophistication. I'm a sex life  consultant. I teach and I do.

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Just one more thing...

Mon, 01/18/2010 - 14:04
Angela S (not verified)

I'll have to pick this up tomorrow, i guess. But i did want to thank you for your on-going "debunking" the myth that g-spot orgasms are somehow preferred or better than clitoral orgasms.

Some have put so much hype behind the elusive g-spot, that i feel it's just one more way women who don't experience them, for whatever reason, are made to feel inferior or poorly about their sexual abilities.

I say, 'screw that'! Cum how you enjoy cumming. Sure, experiment, test the waters, develop all the facets of pleasure that you feel comfortable with, but at the end of the day if using a wand on your clit is what puts a smile on your face, please embrace that.

The gift of two men

Tue, 01/19/2010 - 18:21
Fruit Taster (not verified)

I like the part where you talk about the synchronicity and spirit of two men working together to give the woman a unique sexual experience. In discussions about threesomes, especially MFM ones, I think that this is a point of view that doesn't get emphasized enough. Girl with a One Track Mind, writing recently about her MFM threesome experience, described exactly that, the pleasure of being the center of attention, and it was very eloquent. Great stuff!

reply to Fruit Taster

Eric Amaranth's picture
Wed, 01/20/2010 - 14:15

 

Yes, that synchronicity is born out of a mutual strong desire to watch and be in the presence of a woman consumed and immersed by that level of skilled sexual pleasure. As I was telling a client recently, after being asked why I love that MFM dynamic, being witness to a woman and what comes out of her in that very unique situation is the drive to create and be in it. Then there are the white hot visuals of double penetration; the looks on her face, the swept up and gutteral sounds she makes, how her sex keeps pouring out the wet, her ass opens and relaxes and becomes a second sex organ, her skin shining with massage oil all over, and like the Girl with a One Track Mind said in her blog, if one man comes and his cock relaxes, there's another there to keep going. I would add to that, and after that one comes, the other is sometimes ready for his round, if that's the cycle you have going. And that both men want her to come.

MFM Erotica, Please

Fri, 01/22/2010 - 23:08
Anonymous (not verified)

Eric,
An MFM experience is one of my fantasies. I really appreciate your analysis of the mechanics of the positions and your debunking of the myth that the men involved have to be bisexual (wish I could convince my husband of this...but maybe we just haven't found the right candidate yet). I have really enjoyed your Erotica blogs of your experiences. They are well written and so hot while being responsible and respectful. Please, please write an Erotica entry when you have that MFM you mentioned ;) I can't wait to read about it.

awe, thank you...

Eric Amaranth's picture
Sat, 01/23/2010 - 10:27

 Thank you so much for the <3 and lust for my writings. :)

I've had several, but I'll pick one out where I can contact the people involved to get their blessing on writing about it.

Finding a 2nd man for the very best MFM's is tough. I'm looking for a wingman now actually. There are a lot of requirements involved raging from sex sophistication and heart (warmth and blaze) to STD issues, erectile function in that situation, control over lust, and seamless teamability. Plus, there's issues with one male being the primary partner and his comfort with being in the presence of another man sexing the fuck out of his wife. Sometimes you set boundaries of what precisely you want to create together and leave other things that he doesn't like out of bounds.

I do admit, it will be hot writing it knowing there's a woman out there who can't wait for it to be posted. ;)

I also teach my clients everything I know about the best in pleasurable double penetration for the woman. Then, if they want, show them my construction for making a 2 person MFM. That way, you can approximate as best as possible and indulge that fantasy. Hot talk from the man is part of it and blindfolding her....

part one is up!

Eric Amaranth's picture
Mon, 01/25/2010 - 15:51

 Per your request, part one of one of my MFM threesome sex experiences is up.

You really hit it on the

Wed, 12/05/2012 - 14:32

You really hit it on the head! I have had several MFM experiences and have eloquently put it all into words!

First First MFM Last Night....

Thu, 09/12/2013 - 16:23
Jenny Porter (not verified)

I did this in the wrong order.  I did MFM for the first time last night, then I stumbled upon this blog today.  I wish that I would have read this one first, then proceeded on.  It was and is a fantasy to add one or more men into mine and my husbands sexual experiences.  It was not what I thought it would be. I had to drink to loosen up, however it was in excess, my husband initially felt excluded or left out, but that was addressed and corrected. Open communication is very important as well, it was basically a stranger that if I chose to, I would not have to see again.  He was able to find my g-spot quickly (very hidden, and hard to get to with vaginal only) and fingered that while providing oral.  A vaginal orgasm is a LOT more intense then clit only, PLUS your clit does not get sensitive and or over stimulated, and the source of the orgasm can then change making the opportunity for multiples a lot easier.  For 5 years I have not had a vaginal orgasm, I only cum from clit massage.  Last night my husband was able to see this and was then able to recreate it this morning, multiple times.  That is another intesting topic that I would love to read about, what the man learns, or gains from the experience.  Some people or couples get stuck in the same routine,  each cum once...goodnight.  I knew something was missing, but just coudn't put MY finger on it...lol...all puns intended, lol.

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