Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

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I saw, like everyone else does, in my early observations of how sex works most often in our culture that a woman's menstrual cycle is a time of shunning women in one form or another, and definitely no sex. I saw the looks on women's faces, the sound in their voices. It was a mix on a spectrum of hurt from the treatment and coping by holding her menstrual time in as much contempt, if not more, than men around her did. Then there were other women who always said, "What's the big deal?" Like they were oblivious to the issue. Of course, we've heard lots of quips on PMS from men. The trauma most women go through as adolescents when their periods start. At every turn it's a negative. Something in me wanted to see if that could be reversed with different perspectives.

Fast forward to when my sex life had begun, I made a point to learn how to do back massages that help menstrual cramps. Learned in my early sex self help book readings that a woman's orgasm will often relieve cramps for a while. So the back rubs began followed by hot handjobs for her and going down on hard clit made hard by sliding my hand down between her legs till her wet comes. At first, tampons were inside during the attention. Then she'd feel comfortable letting that go and letting her menses mix with her slippery cum. That was the first time I found out her flow mixed with her turn-on fluids was a near perfect lubricant. My acceptance, through the french kissing and indulging myself in her sex at a very personal time for her was hot for me and heartfelt at the same time. For both of us. It brought the two of us closer.

Then there was sex during a heavy flow. Met women who were a bit more at ease with things and simply asked to see if it was okay with me if we fucked into the flow. It was, and we'd have great sex. Kristina and I had that once. Her broad, heartshaped round ass before me, her on her knees, me pumping into her pussy. I love the transition between her cramps and the relief once she's open and double wet, as I call it, with her own clitoral stimulation at the same time. In that case, it was a Hitachi Magic Wand. I looked down at my cock painted with glistening crimson while holding her big sexy ass in my grip. There's an energy of not giving a damn. Rebellion against The Man maybe. :) So great to fuck into her never having to reach for more lube. Able to drive into her as fast and hard as she wants and the slippery between you never ends. Then the big orgasm that rolls through her and the cuddling afterward. People talk about intimacy a lot on sex self help issue talk shows. They never adequately define intimacy. Or not to my liking. Being affectionate and kissing is only the first form of intimacy. Deeper intimacy is when you get to share something with someone you can't easily share with someone else, or, that there's a short list for that activity. It is a straight line to appreciation and valuing that connection.

I remember the first time I went down on my partner during her flow. The copper flavor. We were in the bathtub with the shower on. The warm spray on my back and looking up to her face, hair wet, eyes closed, lips parted. She leaned back against the back of the tub on a folded up towel under her tail bone. Her hips pumped a hot feminine fuck into my mouth that got bigger right before she came, my two fingers up inside her, the copper-heat and silky wet. My other hand working my dick with silicone lube. I laid my head against her stomach after her pussy stopped clenching and she rubbed and petted me for a long time under the spray. We eventually switched and repositioned, got a condom on, coated it with silicone lube, which is best for water sex, and pushed my penis way down into her relaxed and blissed out cunt. We'd look down together here and there to see her red in ribbons flowing down toward the drain. My thumb spin circles against her clitoris, just like I do in our Condom Basics video. I just remembered... how sensitive her swelled breasts were from her period. She got some lube and gently kneaded her full breasts; groaned from the pleasure in her groin and the pain in her boobs intermingling. In her case, it made it easier for her to come. Her hands gripped and held while her eyelids squeezed as hard as her orgasming pussy did around my still-fucking-her dick. We kissed so easliy. Kissing comes naturally during intimacy like that. The times when kissing while fucking her, her fucking me, is the perfect combination of erotic sensation in that moment. (And, as Betty once taught me, there are defintely times when kissing and intercourse are best seperated to really focus on each pleasure separately.) For me, menstrual sex is a statement that I want all of her.

People are out there that take the whole thing less seriously than this, I know. Earning your red wings. A more relaxed stance to menstrual sex exists along side a more serious liberation from negative messages and connection with your partner. I find that's the case in much of human sexuality. There's this -and- there's this over here too. I utilize all the aspects and points of view that are healthy, accurate, and move me forward.

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