The Race To the Vag: What Makes Me Different?

My lover Kristina asked me when last we were together, lounging in her bed, "So many men want to run a race with their dicks straight to the vagina. How was it that you went a different way?"

It made me think of what is said among some men: don't bother learning how to make it feel good for her because then she'll fall in love with you, or get attached, and then be a big pain in the ass.

That's uniquely inhumane, I must say.

After thinking that, I remember telling her that when I was a young teenager, my imaginings of a woman, or girl my age at that point too, in a really horny state and having done to her, or doing to herself, some really hot erotic body-pleasure all the way to orgasm. That was and still is a massive turn on for me. Then I went through stages of accepting different possibilities for that pleasure.

I remember swimming in my family's pool one night and wrestling in my mind with the concept that a woman holding a vibrator against her clitoris was to be shunned and competed with on one hand, and undeniably effective and hot to watch on the other. It wouldn't be for another seven years before the idea occurred to me to push my hard cock inside her wet folds while she did it.

Reminds me of the time I was doing some of my very first sex life consulting, as it were, with a couple I knew in my junior year of college. The girlfriend was interested in feeling a Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator against her mound while taking her boyfriend's dick, but her beloved was unconvinced. Then I told him how good the vibrations would feel inside her blissed out vagina to his penis, making a real vibrating pussy. He was intrigued... and wished to learn more! Like the website of the store that sold such a device.

I went on to tell Kristina that when my partner sex life started, I learned first hand how a woman's sex energy felt. That's the sensation that hits the front of your chest, can make my penis fill full of semen and loose it inside her clenching, orgasming (or about to orgasm) pussy or ass. It's an energy that helps simultaneous orgasm trigger too. And of course there's only one way to that particular energy. Then I mentioned a woman's little unconscious movements that are so hot. Her hips starting to bob, changes to her sex voice (it gets more out of control) and her sexy breathing-- her body will sometimes arch beautifully, quake sometimes, her jaw going limp and her lips parting, the drool from those lips in some occasions of very strong and protracted sex pleasure. What more can I say when I see a lover lift her head from her pillow after a big orgasm and we notice the wet spot of saliva next to where her pretty mouth was laying?

"There are few things as erotic as a woman in authentic arousal, approaching her orgasm, and then coming."

That's what Betty said to me, paraphrased, when we first met and in her first book, Sex For One.

The last thing I told Kristina was I had the desire to do my part in bed, that not all men share my erotic attraction to real female ecstatic response, and I love the feeling of her appreciaiton that comes through in the cuddling and affection after it's all over. I love how soaked vagina feels, along with taking a woman with my cockring'ed and granite hard dick-- making a meal out of her body, her smell, the sight of her, and her sex-sounds. That's heaven too. Like I said recently on my facebook page, the real is what I'm all about. Illusion's only good during a Penn and Teller performance.

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