Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

 0 items

• Login
• Join

Search this site:

Your partner is missing a crucial detail pertaining to something your body and/or your mind really enjoys or needs for satisfying sex/orgasm. The two of you are into communicating, so you tell them.

They receive the info and in this case, zero in and make fireworks happen. However, the next time, the same mistakes are made. This can be very frustratin and eventually anger-triggering. What to do?

Different things can be creating this issue or a combination of them. The notables are:

We Suggest: 

Kim Kardashian Has Strong Sex Skills

How Do I Tell My Boyfriend to Slow Down & Communicate My Sexual Needs?

When I Communicate About Sex, BF Says, "I Know What I'm Doing"

5 Tips To Avoid Hasty Breakups Due To Sex Skill Failures

No one talks about it. It makes the ego sting when what one does well in bed fails. Blame is placed on the other person when much better responses exist. Here are some tips for dealing with this before deciding to break it off too soon.

1. Communicate. Talk with your partner to get more information on how good something feels that you’re doing. Maybe that something you think works… really isn’t significant at that time or to their body in general. Get info on the things they know is hot for them that perhaps did nothing for your last partner. If you’re in a marriage, this is especially important because you are sharing the same life with your partner now and there’s no easy way out of that.

We Suggest: 

Porn is a Reflection of Our Diverse Sexual Needs

Why Atheists Have Better Sex

How Do I Tell My Boyfriend to Slow Down & Communicate My Sexual Needs?

We Have Great Sex But I Can't Communicate About Difficult Topics

My girlfriend and I went to a wedding this past weekend and decided to bring four of our favorite sex toys with us. Two were vibes shaped innocuously. One was a dil with an obvious phallic shape. The fourth was a glass design that defies brief description. Which is why it’s pictured at left. Read on for the humor and adventure.

We Suggest: 

My Dirty Drawer Full of Sex Toys

Even Chimps Use Sex Toys

I Want to Come Out of the Closet & Tell My Parents I Use Sex Toys

Vintage Sex Toys

It came out in print yesterday and here is the New York Post Sex Issue article on me online.

The writer I worked with, Dana Schuster, wanted to interview as many of my Talk Session and Guided Session clients as possible, which was arranged. I want to thank very much all of my past and present clients who helped me out so that this article could be published. Dana wanted to hear from real people about the results I create and you guys weren't shy. You made it happen.

Anyway, I was very happy with the quotes she took from people including one of my top three favorite quotes from my teacher Betty:

We Suggest: 

The Woman's Sex Coach

Do I Need a Degree to Do Hands-On Sex Coaching?

How to Become a Sex Educator, Therapist, Researcher or Sexologist

The Gothamist on Eric's Brand of Sex Coaching

Everyone knows monogamy's weaknesses: same partner, no other partners to experience sex with, the loss of enjoying the unique little strengths that given lovers will have in bed for you or when you do things to them. However, it's very helpful to be aware of monogamy's strengths. Ones that are under-utilized by most.

We Suggest: 

The Most Common Relationship Myths

Because I Don't Want to Lose Myself

I Want to be Someone’s Number ONE

That's Love

I'm very happy with my article. My best press yet, in fact. I even received better cover billing than Justin Bieber did.  It was almost two years in the making with all the rewrites and “Which issue will it go in?” questions. 

I also want to blog on it to clarify two things for its readers because with lots and lots of rewrites and fact checkers adding and subtracting, some things are lost in translation. Spoiler alert: read the article first before you read this blog post. Then, I’ll talk on some of the behind-the-scenes details.

My clarifications:

We Suggest: 

Learn to Orgasm in Four Acts (eBook)

My Thoughts on The Female Brain Part I

My Thoughts on The Female Brain Part 2

Eric's Article in GQ

Sex therapists, educators, and sex life coaches alike all get this question on a weekly basis.

People have things in their sex lives that are hot for them, have desires to do things, look at how much sex they're having and for how long etc. etc. and wonder if where they are or what they're doing is favorably comparable to their neighbors' sex lives or the collective in general. Sometimes the question pertains to physical characteristics. Anatomy questions aside, I answer them thusly:

"We first have to define "normal" and establish for one's self a decision to have an extraordinary level of satisfaction with one's sex life."

We Suggest: 

It’s Our Ability to Feel Pleasure that Helps Us Develop a Sense of Self Deserving

Marilyn Monroe: We are All Born Sexual Creatures

I Just Couldn't Accept that Sex was Sinful

Why Is It Creepy To Think About Parents Having Sex?

Here is part one of my previous blog on Dr. Louann Brizendine's book, "The Female Brain." On with part two:

This brings me to a very important point when evaluating the results of scientific researchers and how they influence your beliefs about what is and isn’t. Many times a given scientific body or community will agree on something. Many times they do not. Never forget this when you
turn to science for answers. I like science, I’m not saying to ignore it. Science can be exact and perfect and it can also be controversial or worse, trumped up for other motives.

We Suggest: 

The Recession Effect: Gender Balance in the Workplace

Why Women Think They Can't Orgasm

Taking Female Sexuality Out of the “Male” Box

My Thoughts on The Female Brain Part I

I just finished reading Dr. Louann Brizendine’s book, The Female Brain, and in this post, I’ll focus mainly on her section about female sexual response and orgasm. The preceding chapters were interesting. They detailed girlhood and teen behaviors as heavily influenced, according to Dr. Brizendine, by the hormone fluctuations of the brain. The other chapters on interesting menopausal behavioral info. She goes into the male side as well. First, some points I agreed with.

We Suggest: 

Fucking Like A Feminist

Learn to Orgasm in Four Acts (eBook)

Your Brain During Orgasm

Marilyn Monroe: We are All Born Sexual Creatures

Here is a post on an latimes blog featuring the Ryan Seacrest radio show that Jessica Simpson was on recently. Scroll down after the post and you can play the radio interview. This also in response to her hot nude photo on the cover of Elle Magazine, which I saw yesterday.

Jessica was asked how her love life with her fiancee Eric Johnson was going and she told everyone with great delight, "The big 'O' is like the biggest 'O' ever,"

A quick blog post today, but an important one. My friend Steve Otero located this article by Roland Hulme.

It's about the occurrence where women say no to sexual exchange, but are waiting for the man to continue anyway as part of the game. The reason they do it, according to Hulme and his sources, is because it shows the woman isn't a slut before continuing with the sex. The implication is the man kept going and "made her do it," so to speak, so she can let go of her socially-induced phobia.

Below is a response I wrote recently to an article on www.psychologytoday.com by Stanley Siegel, LCSW. Click here for his full article. I semi-support his theory, however, I disagreed with a position he takes that I've seen taken too often by the psychology-based sex therapy community at large. One that supports a mind-as-center-for-orgasm message that cheats the audience of that message of a tremendous portion of their sexual capability and birthright.

Read on for my response, slightly re-written for this blog entry:

It is absolutely true that a sex life can be enjoyed regardless of the shape someone is in. My sex life coaching works for a wide range of body types. It is also true that people in better shape have certain advantages in the bedroom. This blog post will cover several of the most relevant muscle groups for both women and men plus the effect they have on your sex and orgasm quality and possibilities.

While it's true that the largest portion of sex life coaching that Betty and I do for our clients surrounds the exciting subject materials, we also are there to coach clients through relationship issues as they pertain to their shared sex life.

This is a blog on my most recent session with a couples client we'll call, "Judy and Keith." They gave me permission to discuss these specific sections of their coaching.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night with my beloved Kira making soft moans and pressing her hourglass body back against my thigh. One thing led to another and before you knew it, I was straddling the backs of her thighs and pushing myself straight down into lots of her slippery.

The way she looked drove me sex-crazy because I'd just clicked something on from above that gave her an instant rich, deep tan.