All the Horrible Things I Masturbate To: Revenge of the Nerds

Thu, 01/13/2011 - 08:50
Submitted by Anonymous

As you may have guessed by now, most of the horrible things I masturbate(d) to are from movies. And it’s normally never the entire movie but just one scene, one destinctive scene that completely blows all I knew about sex out of the water. I will watch that same film again and again just to arrive at the scene. I’m not desperate, I won’t fast forward. The anticipation of arriving to that point of no return is far more satisfying than a quick fix.

This is very true for the movie of Revenge of the Nerds. Only one scene in that entire comedy had set off a fetish that still lives with me to this day, one that I often don’t bring up in the bedroom.

Revenge of the Nerds… well, the title speaks for itself. A group of intellectual misfits, weirdos, and downright dorks step onto campus thinking that once and for all they will finally be rid of the ridicule and ultimate wedgies of yester-semester. Instead, they find more bullies, jocks, and prissy bitches being nerdist. And, learning from their black brethren, the nerds take arms and fight the fuck back… which is pretty hot. Hmmm… Robert Carradine. It was the hair and the teeth. They made me feel so safe.

But, honestly he didn’t really rev my engine, although I didn’t know what my engine was or how it needed to be revved. ROTN came out around 1984 – a year before I was born – so when I saw it for the first time I must’ve been 7 or 8. Of course, it was funny. And there are timeless scenes, like the final standoff at the big carnival. There’s also the panty raid which, come to think of it, I recall is being very sexy. It did give me a funny feeling to see these dorky little perverts sifting through my underwear drawer while I sleep at night. But, in my fantasies one of them (usually Carradine’s character) usually begins to molest me while I sleep. He locks door first, obviously, because he doesn’t want to anyone to walk in. Or maybe he and his friends take turns…

But I don’t know if I fetishize any element of that fantasy. It’s just fun and pornographic. And it makes for a great form of play, only instead of a college freshman I’d much rather someone who can play a stalker who genuinely enjoys panty sniffing and can express some form of dominance (of course). These are very specific qualities that take time to develop in a lover.

One scene I do fetishize in ROTN is the infamous moon bounce scene. Maybe also known as the Darth Vader, but I doubt anyone has a name for this moment in the movie. Anyway, it’s towards the ending of the movie and the nerds have steadily began to reclaim some respect from their peers. Either the day of or the day before the concert, there’s a big carnival on campus and everyone is encouraged to dress in costume. So, Robert Carradine character’s, Louis, steals a Darth Vader mask from his arch enemy, a feathered-haired athletic head Alpha Beta, Stan (played by Ted McGuinley). Louis meets with Stan’s girlfriend in the moon bounce and, believing that underneath that Darth Vader mask is her boyfriend, she has sex with him.

What I remember most fondly was when the camera was facing Stan’s girlfriend, Betty, from Louis’s point of view – behind the mask. There is heavy breathing, which is a Star Wars throwback, and this slow, creepy approach towards Betty as he’s about to have his way with her… And it excited me.

Now, whenever I put on a mask, this rush goes through my loins as if a dam broke. But, it doesn’t appeal to me as much as being with someone who wears it himself. And it can’t be just any old mask, especially those effeminate theatrical and jester visages ornately decorated in glitter and ink. Pfft.

I personally fall for gruesome, realistic, and scary masks.

It’s why Halloween is my favorite holiday. Seeing so many people transform into horrific creatures make me cringe in more ways than one. My fantasy is to be ravished by someone wearing a particularly ghoulish mask, one with so much character that it seems as though I’m being fondled by the monster and not the man…


Oh yes, and you’re probably wondering if Louis actually raped Betty, since she technically consented to having sex with Stan, but not him. In the end, she conveniently loves the nurturing and intimacy that comes with nerd sex, and is thus converted thereafter.

Visit The Fetishette's website and learn more about how I can help you unleash your desires and experience a form of play that awakens you. Or please call 1-866-660-2636 Sunday thru Saturday between 12pm and 9pm.

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OH MY GOODNESS, the moon

Wed, 01/19/2011 - 23:58
DoctorWhoGirl (not verified)

OH MY GOODNESS, the moon bounce scene....Honestly, I think that was one of my earliest introductions to being truly turned on as a young child. I used to sleep on the couch in the living room, and my parents and sister would watch movies after I had gone to bed. I'd hide my head under my pillow, normally in order to muffle the noise, but also so I could sneakily watch the film too. Revenge of the Nerds...I will always have fond memories of that film...the awakening of my sexual being.

Some of the curious things I fantasize about while masturbating

Thu, 06/30/2011 - 07:30
Edgerman58 (not verified)

Before I came "out" of the closet as a gay-bi man (and my wife knows that I am), I used to have this incredibly vivid "dream" sometimes, usually late at night, or early in the morning, about me masturbating for Larry Flynt!
Don't ask me to explain why him. There's just something strangely erotic about me doing something like that for him! Go figure. It's a "fantasy", remember! Anyway, these fantasies were incredibly potent. I started journaling about them; trying to figure out why I was having these intense scenarios.
Just before I came out to my wife, she started showing up in these strange dreams! She'd be there somewhere watching me jerk-off across a glass patio table for Larry. She seemed to approve! Now days, I think that these dreams were my subconscious mind wanting to be Out to her! Now that I am, these dream-fantasies no longer occur. They did their job, I guess! Why Larry Flynt, I'll never really know. Maybe it was because he represented to me a sense of sexual freedom and honesty?
I have other sexual fantasies, but the one about Larry Flynt is perhaps one of the "kinkiest" I've ever had. (I had fun playing with the scenario as I masturbated. That's probably the best reason to have had it: for the thrill and excitement.) I'm not sure that Larry would appreciate being the star of a "queer-sex" fantasy, and I mean no disrespect to him for having had them, but he did play a role in helping me to want to come out! So, for what it's worth: "Thanks Larry!"
That's what I like about Betty Dodsons attitude to such things: open, without self-censoring.