Carlin's blog

German men beat out the Brits taking the title of World's Worst Lovers due to their bad hygiene.  It is kind of suprising because they're so kinky (they do have the most stimulating porn out there) but BO is BO.  And American men came in 5th because you're too rough.  The World's Best Lovers are in Spain.  I've always wanted to see Barcelona ;) 

Here's how the rest of world's men fared in the sex department:

WORLD'S WORST LOVERS

1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)

You think you know everything about sex and then you're trumped by such an obvious fetish.  Over the weekend, an elderly man was arrested for blowing white pepper into a young cashier's face twice in an attempt to get her to sneeze.  I'm not sure if he wanted her to sneeze "on him".  I would think that the lack of control coupled with the spittle and possible snot would be part of the turn on. 

The worst part is that the cashier never sneezed.  The pepper went down her throat and not up her nose.  She had to go to the hospital so this poor old man was arrested on two counts of aggravated assault. 

I would sneeze on him right now. 

CBS Sunday morning profiled one of my favorite women of all time Madeleine Albright.  The best part of the interview was when she exclaimed, "I love being a woman" to explain her love of pins and how she embraced her femininity playing in a man's arena.

There are over 300 pins in her collection and The Museum of Arts and Design is premiering an exhibition of her pins starting September 30.  I have to admit that, at first, the whole pin thing was underwhelming.  But hearing all the stories behind each pin and how they helped her communicate her agenda to world leaders - it struck me as brilliant. 

The first challenge of advocacy is being heard and understood.  And Madeleine Albright used such a simple device - a pin - to achieve this goal.  The pin that caught my attention was a diamond encrusted eagle she bought for herself when she was appointed Secretary of State.  It reminded me of the sapphire ring I bought myself when I landed my first job.

The best feminist smackdown of the day goes to Senator Debbie Stabenow (Dem of Michigan).

In an exchange on federal benefits Senator John Kyl said that federal benefit mandates would increase the cost of insurance. Senator Debbie Stabenow said such requirements were needed because many insurance policies did not cover important services like maternity care .

Mr. Kyl insisted, "I don't need maternity care."

But Ms. Stabenow said, "Your mom probably did."

This isn't about intelligence.  What the research found was that female doctors were more cautious and took fewer risks.  So it's not that women are "better" doctors rather it's that women are more caring, patient-centered, and take more time doing consultations so they're more thorough.  The bottom line is that they're more likely to find out what's really wrong with you.

This is exactly what Helen Fisher predicted in her book THE FIRST SEX: The Natural Talents of Women and How They are Changing the World.  Her premise is that men have excelled in industry for the last few centuries because of the nature of the workplace.  It was about strength and hunter abilities.

And I would add that the majority also have extramarital sex:

At least nine out of 10 Americans, men and women alike, have had premarital sex, says a new report. And premarital sex isn't new -- the high rates include the sexual habits of women born in the 1940s, challenging the idea that sexual behaviors used to be more restrained.

Sex has apparently become something of a young American habit. "It's hard to stop the evolution of that urge," said Judy Kuriansky, a sex therapist, media personality and adjunct professor of psychology at Columbia University Teachers College in New York.

The report, published by the private Guttmacher Institute in New York, challenges the thinking behind government-funded programs that rely primarily on abstinence-only teachings. The study, released Tuesday, appears in the new issue of Public Health Reports.

I'm not sure the average guy has the calves to pull off mantyhose.  Do you think they'll have control top, sheer toe, or reinforced crotch options?  Anyway...

It was kind of interesting to know that demand among male shoppers for pantyhose has apparently been soaring over the past five years. So Selfridges in London responded with a range designed exclusively for guysized legs.

They come in black, beige and charcoal.

Why would a man desire mantyhose? Well it seems that they're worn under suits to keep the legs warm and to give the hips and thighs a nice smooth line.

Can you imagine what would happen if they had a vaccine that could prevent the transmission of HIV?  There would be a sexual revolution like we've never seen.  We're almost there.

Researchers in Thailand combined 2 earlier experimental HIV vaccines and gave it to 16,000 people.  They found that the chances of catching HIV were 31.2% less for those who had taken the vaccine.  YAY!

A global vaccine is still a ways off but this is exciting news.  Do you think we can get Betty to start throwing group sex parties again?

It was so refreshing to know that, for women, there IS a formula for the ultimate male sex partner (we all know the formula for men thanks to porn). So here's the recipe according to psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss:

We like them Tall.

Studies consistently find that women consider tall men to be attractive. In analyses of personal ads, 80 per cent of women state they want to meet a man who is 6ft or taller. Two studies also found that taller-than-average men tend to have a greater number of live-in girlfriends and more children, confirming their popularity for romance and reproduction.

God, I missed Pee Wee:

 For Betty....

Even I was a bit shocked by these numbers.  Researchers who studied the link between sexual habits and alcohol consumption among 3,000 women found 50% preferred sex under the influence.  The reason: alcohol helped them lose their inhibitions.

This is what happens when you cut sex ed, cram abstinence until marriage down everyone's throats, perpetuate the slut stigma, and try to control human sexuality by shaming women.  We still have sex but we can't take responsibility for our decisions so we have a few drinks to absent ourselves.  Talk about a compromising situation.  You don't remember how much fun it was and you're less likely to be in the moment - less likely to communicate what you want and insist on protection.

Here's some other alarming facts:

Marylou is going to be featured on WE's Secret Lives of Women (one of my favorite shows) on September 22. Here's a small clip of her episode:

MyPleasure.com brings you the MyVibe iPhone app - and it's FREE. Now, it's not going to vibrate as intensely as the Hitachi Magic Wand but it is refreshing to have an iPhone app that caters to the sexual preferences of the female market. 

Debbie Herbenick, PhD tried it out and broke it down for us: there's an on/off button that looks like many computer on/offs so it's easily recognizable. On the right side, there are up and down arrows to control your vibration - short, quick pulses (smaller #s) or longer, slower ones (higher #s, up to 100). [If your phone isn't vibrating at first, make sure your volume switch on the left of the iPhone is turned to vibrate.]

The Daily Beast has finally proven what I've known to be true - that career women who opted out of the labor market are bearing the brunt of the economic meltdown. 

I so remember that NY Times piece about the Opt-Out Revolution like it was yesterday.  It was this phenom where women with Ivy league educations and corner offices were "opting out" of the labor market to be soccer moms citing the stress of balancing work and family (and the fact that you're penalized for motherhood while your male counterparts are promoted for having the stability of a loving family, oh, and you still have to do 80% of the household chores).