Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

 0 items

• Login
• Join

Search this site:

Well most people don't masturbate for 20 hours a week but most people on average watch TV for 20 hours a week. So addiction is an overdramic term used by people who are  sex negative, The porn I like has none of the stuff in your post. I'm aroused by being desired too so porn that has nothing to do with female desire is kind of rubbish :)

So huge problems leaving links here. I'm quite proud of the porn I like especially the site run by Liandra Dahl

sorry about that.  Here's the link to Liandra's site: http://www.liandradahl.com/

And I agree with your porn argument.  There's so much amazing content out there - I'm bashing typical big studio/amateur for $ porn

Thanks :) Yeah the people on those crappy sites are beautiful and their sexuality and true hotness is just totally wasted. I felt that watching the Live nude girls unite doc too. All this is a consequence of our culture devaluing sexual inspiration. If you can sexually inspire large numbers of people, that's amazing and both a talent gift and a career to be appreciated as we would any amazing talent like a great singing voice. 
Love your site BTW, I don't think we can say that enough :)

But I probably need a better vibe, the one I've got doesn't bring me to orgasm. Hubby jokes that I'm like a porn star because when I'm in charge during sex I keep changing the positions and see nothing wrong with stopping in the middle of intercourse for some extra clit stim and making out! So far the best toy I have is my right hand, he likes to play down there but I'm telepathic when I'm my own lover.  Tonight I had a headache so I wasn't in the mood for any orgasms (headaches are the only thing a good orgasm cannot fix for me, it makes the pain worse) but was in the mood for sex so we had some nice vanilla missionary. Most of the time, I'll all about having as many intense orgasms as I can during partnersex but once in a while I like to kind of just lie there and enjoy the sensation of him enjoying my body.  Of course, I've already warned him that I'm taking no prisoners this weekend. Your rant on porn is spot on by the way, of course, it's funny to me because my husband doesn't actually try to do that to me!

You just described my sex life in those last couple of bolded paragraphs PERFECTLY. *sigh* so lame

...thanks for the plug guys. It is greatly appreciated and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. 

I think it goes back to the idea that women don't really own our orgasms. Their supposed to be "given" to us by men. I find it ironic that now that women are allowed orgasms that it really has become all about the man and his prowess. A vibe doesn't prop up a guy's ego, or make you look like a porn star. God forbid, you don't come the right way. One my worst sexual experiences was my last - the guy told me with a straight face that he had never used vibes before because "they were never necessary". Not surprisingly, he turned out to be a uncreative, uninformed lover.  Truthfully, I believe that this is one of the he primary reasons women are not usually orgasmic. Other reasons are 1. Denial of th clit 2. This stupid idea of being "given" an orgasm 3. A paint-by-numbers approach to sex 4. An appalling lack of sexual information among the general public.

Carlin just outlined why I'm adverse to partnersex with most men under 30 and why I don't have cable.

I have been under the same pressure for the past 10 years (28yo) - to orgasm naturally with my partner! But hello, not easy! The best was with a few boyfriends who didn't mind me using vibrators to climax (always at the end of our romp), but then there are the few egos who are determined to make me come w/o a vibrator and when I don't they feel disappointed in themselves and ultimately create an air of anxiety that affects me hours/days later where I begin to think, "Wait a minute! Is something wrong with me?!" My latest lover is actually quite good and patient, but still giving me some pressure about it, but since he's truly patient and physically able to last a while, I do feel compelled to mentally "try" to come. The closest is feeling and thinking that I'm going to pee! Is that weird? It kinda worked. Almost there! Like I told him, "we just have to keep trying." ;)

Women, the 'porn addiction' argument in response to the 'vibrator addiction' argument doesn't really stand up to scrutiny, the reason being that a man tends to be alone when using porn, but a woman tends to use a vibrator in the presence of her partner. Can you imagine how you'd feel if your man insisted on having a TV screen in the bedroom showing porn while you had sex with him, because he needed more visual stimulation than you could provide him? That's how you make him feel when you insist on using a vibrator to bring yourself to orgasm in his presence instead of letting him use his fingers or tongue. No wonder men would rather watch porn alone!

i like this site, because it gives you much room for fantasies. you are only seeing the head of a person while he or she is masturbating. it is turning me on so much... beautiful agony . com. like liandra postet it on vimeo.
another site that is equal to it is i shot myself . com or i feel myself . com. i'm sure everybody that surfed through liandras site recognized these links.
do you have links here of equal sites?

and back to topic:
the partners, wich i were intim, were realy shy about using sex toys during sex. i think the problem is that they thought to get stimulated fully by the partner they are in love with. but i think this is a ideology and fanatasy matter. what is the big deal if i can spend my partner better pleasure when involving sex toys? its also turning me on if they use the toys alone.

i like these experiments, to see how the partner reacts on different stimulations with or without toys.
t♥ys are for pleasure. it doesn't matter wich age your are and when you are using them.

I don't like big-studio porn either. Boring, exploitive, full of fake screaming and things like "facials" (I could be wrong but I have trouble believing anyone not influenced by porn actually likes them---to me they're disrespectful). And have you ever noticed that male porn stars are essentially unable to orgasm with women---they always have to use their own hands? While I tend not to like typical commercial porn, I do enjoy some homemade erotic vids, as well as sites like IFM.

People were having orgasms long before the invention of vibrators, but vibrators often make orgasms simpler and faster (for me, too). I do remember a woman in San Francisco who mainly used her vibrators to get off, but periodically she would have what she called "earthquake preparedness drills" where she would get herself off the old-fashioned, manual way. In case of a power failure or the end of civilization as we know it, she wanted to know she could still come just using her hands if she had to.

"Giving" someone an orgasm implies the orgasmic person's saying to their partner, "Thanks---I could never have done that without you." Which isn't true. But our vibrators don't "give" us orgasms either---they just facilitate getting ourselves off. So can a partner. Caring partners may not "give" one another orgasms, but they do help one another get off. No one would bother to have partner sex if that weren't the case. 

Thrillseeker,

Where did you get the idea that women mainly use vibrators with partners?? It's as much a tool for masturbation as anything. And for many, it's necessary in order to achieve orgasm.