Why Masturbation is a Feminist Issue

The blogosphere was abuzz yesterday with the report that Duke University has a new sex toy research program.   Duke is a catholic university and the thought of a program where female students were brought together in to a passion party type atmosphere selecting sex toys that they could take home for free has panties in a bunch.  

As I was reading about the story and Father Joe Vetter's statements (he runs Duke's Catholic Center) about why they were concerned about the research, I found myself agreeing with Vetter when he said:

"I'm concerned about promiscuity also," Vetter said. "And to be honest, I don't have the solution. ... My concern is these students are in this developmental phase, and I don't think it's a good developmental practice to just tell somebody to just sit around and masturbate. I don't think that promotes relationships."

Yes, that's why masturbation is a feminist issue.  Women need to know how to have independent orgasms and NOT be dependent on another person to give her her orgasm. In an email exchange with Eric Francis, he broke it down even further:

"Many women stick to men, including toxic men, because of a sexual bond. Yes for many it's economic, but that's not the driving force, usually; it's sex or some form of emotional palliative. Many girls, not knowing they have an option, have sex with boys and get pregnant and that of course changes their life story irrevocably. Many women would embrace a form of feminism, but this implies a measure of independence from men, and that independence includes sexual independence. Both have to be learned. For lesbians it's easier; there's somewhere to go. For straight, questioning and bi women, masturbation becomes the sexual refuge and a place to be themselves sexually, without so much interference; and this is crucial to personality development."

"I believe that masturbation can be relational; that there is a step or dimension we are skipping in our erotic and emotional encounters, which is a relational aspect of selfloving. In many ways relational masturbation seems more open-hearted and communicative than the forms of sex that necessitate codependncy or using another person."

"Our sexual relationships become narcissistic because we skip this phase and/or don't have it available when we need it. Part of my sexual theory involves what, exactly, we do with the narcissism wound that is so pervasive and causes so much trouble. In a culture that teaches a kind of toxic self centeredness, we have to work this one out."

As women, we 've been conditioned to have a certain amount of dependence within our relationships.  The First Wave feminists fought for our right to vote and be full citizens - civic independence.  The Second Wave feminists fought for our right to earn of living and make equal wages - economic independence.  And now Third Wave feminists need to fight for our right to independent orgasms - sexual independence because "without sexual freedom there can be no sense of self" (Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Infidel).

Technorati Tags: In the News duke university Masturbation sex toy research