Till Bust Up Do Us Part

There's a legislator in Albany who proposed that marriages would automatically terminate in 7 years unless you renewed them - no need for a divorce.  Marriage vows are changing to acknowledge that most marriages don't last a lifetime:

Kiwi couples are ditching promises of "till death do us part" and choosing what they consider realistic vows for their big days, celebrants say.  Many New Zealanders are moving away from traditional marriage vows, with phrases like "till death do us part" and "honour and obey" increasingly deleted from their wedding days.

A Christchurch marriage celebrant of 25 years, Anne Stubbersfield, said people were more realistic now about their chances of staying together.  Most still believed their marriage would be forever, but some vowed to be together just as long as their "love endures".

Kiwis still hoped for a lifetime together, unlike an Australian couple who reportedly vowed a "three to five-year agreement plus options" or another pair who pledged if their "love should falter or fail, I will respect you for the period that you were in my life".

"[New Zealand couples] are going into it with values, maybe not the old religious values, but a far more realistic idea," Stubbersfield said.  Many couples spoke of choosing each other as their "life partner" and of marrying their "best friend".

Marriage celebrant Julie Lassen said fewer people were choosing to utter the words "till death do us part" on their wedding days.

"They still see it as a lifetime commitment. I think it's in terms of positive words, they don't want to get that terminology in."

She said more couples were adding something humorous into their vows like promising to put out the rubbish, tidy the lounge or not eat chocolate.  People also often left out any mention of religion, she said.

Anglican Reverend Paul Stanaway said couples he married still used the traditional vows including "till death do us part", but were uneasy about the word "obey".

"I think it's a very positive statement, not talking about death, but that the only thing that should part us is death," he said.

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