Natasha posted a link to James Prescott's research on body pleasure and the origins of violence. I read through the dense extract and it was life affirming. We have instincts that, at times, we question. Everything Betty teaches through her books and the workshops can be quantified. Touch and pleasure inhibit violence across the board.
It starts with maternal touch as infants. Cultures that support mothers, don't sexualize breastfeeding toddlers, and encourage general affection have less violence. The concept that pain is useful in child-rearing produces angry, aggressive adolescents and adults. Here's an interesting wrinkle: mothers who didn't experience orgasm were more likely to abuse their children.
But maternal touch is only one half of the equation. Cultures that encourage maternal affection but prohibit premarital sex saw increased violence. It seems you can't encourage pleasure in infancy and then deny pleasure after puberty until marriage without creating anger. Pleasure is an absolute proposition.
When we sexualize all touch we deny our humanity. In fact, cultures like ours that are large, sophisticated, raise children in a small groups like the nuclear family, and stigmatize family nudity end up the most violent. This violence results in high crime rates, the purchase of wives and slavery. Kind of sums up the last two hundred years of American history.
This past Monday ACS knocked up on my door. I wasn't going to share it here on D&R but it ties directly to this research and this fucked up culture. About a year ago, I posted an image of a famous Shenga drawing - a mother nursing her newborn while she was having sex with her husband. We were co-sleeping at the time and Betty showed me the drawing commenting that the world would be less violent if people saw healthy images of sexuality. That's what I posted.
We never had sex with Grayson in the bed but the image was enough to cast me as an abusive mother. It's the kind of thing that crushes your soul. It makes you question yourself and everything you do throughout the day. If we were running a porn or webcam company and making crazy money it may seem worth it. This is a labor of love and there has been sacrifice. You start to think it's not worth it.
I may not be able to continue like before. Betty was maligned and harrassed but she didn't have a child. It would break my heart but I may need to make a transition until Grayson is older to protect my family.
Keep me in your thoughts. Let's hope for a positive outcome for my family. My mind keeps bringing me back to Bodysex and it's profound healing. Thankfully, our Bodysex certification program is off the ground. We didn't realize it but we may have already passed the torch.