Yesterday I forced myself to watch Netflix's latest documentary Audrie & Daisy. To listen to their interviews...to hear their stories of rape and sexual abuse was chilling. It was the typical American scenario: athlete boys lure the girls over to their homes, ply them with alcohol, assault them, take video/pictures and post them on social media. There's an investigation but the boys get off scot free and the girls are slut shamed by their community (Daisy had her family home vandalized before it was burned down to the ground).
As the mother of a boy, my feelings of rage were replaced with utter desperation. How could I raise a sex positive boy in this culture? If Grayson was at his friend's house and they were taking turns raping a girl, would be join in, call 911 or film it? We don't teach young girls to distrust boys, the same boys they've grown up with, gone to school together since kindergarten. We don't teach young boys that girls are sexual just like them; equal in every way.
Rape isn't just rape anymore. Social media has taken the systematic abuse of young women and kicked it up to a whole new level of shame and public humiliation. We can't just deny that our kids are sexual, cross our fingers, and hope that everything works out. Sex must be taught. There isn't a doubt in my mind that these tragedies can be avoided through education.
Last night I sketched out the first clip in our sex ed curriculum. One by one the concepts and images came to me. It's what I'll use to instruct Grayson that self sexuality is his beginning, girls are valuable, the clitoris is a girl's primary sex organ, consent must be given, birth control must be talked about, and you never disrespect your partner by taking your sex to social media.
I'm on fire.