Sex Must be Taught

Tue, 10/04/2016 - 07:46
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Yesterday I forced myself to watch Netflix's latest documentary Audrie & Daisy.  To listen to their interviews...to hear their stories of rape and sexual abuse was chilling.  It was the typical American scenario: athlete boys lure the girls over to their homes, ply them with alcohol, assault them, take video/pictures and post them on social media.  There's an investigation but the boys get off scot free and the girls are slut shamed by their community (Daisy had her family home vandalized before it was burned down to the ground).

As the mother of a boy, my feelings of rage were replaced with utter desperation.  How could I raise a sex positive boy in this culture?  If Grayson was at his friend's house and they were taking turns raping a girl, would be join in, call 911 or film it?  We don't teach young girls to distrust boys, the same boys they've grown up with, gone to school together since kindergarten.  We don't teach young boys that girls are sexual just like them; equal in every way. 

Rape isn't just rape anymore.  Social media has taken the systematic abuse of young women and kicked it up to a whole new level of shame and public humiliation.  We can't just deny that our kids are sexual, cross our fingers, and hope that everything works out.  Sex must be taught.  There isn't a doubt in my mind that these tragedies can be avoided through education.

Last night I sketched out the first clip in our sex ed curriculum.  One by one the concepts and images came to me.  It's what I'll use to instruct Grayson that self sexuality is his beginning, girls are valuable, the clitoris is a girl's primary sex organ, consent must be given, birth control must be talked about, and you never disrespect your partner by taking your sex to social media.  

I'm on fire.

Editor in Chief & Keeper of All Things Betty Dodson

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the Talk

Thu, 10/06/2016 - 05:12

A friend's teenage boy headed off to a weekend concert this Summer. She sat him down for a talk, not about safe sex, not even about consent, because they'd already covered that ground.

They talked about how it was important not to just walk by, to pass by on the other side and by not getting involved, allow something dreadful to happen. They talked through the whole "Yes but what would I say... what would I do" scenarios. 

Clearly men have as much responsibility as women to step forward and call abuse out as unacceptable, criminal and downright shameful behaviour but talking through how he might help was important to her.

Afterwards he said it had been useful to give him some strategies on how to intervene, being clear that embarrassment was not a good reason to stop a rape or assault, when to report to authorities etc. & yes, he thought it had helped him to get involved and head off a problem by escorting a fairly drunk girl (15years old) back to her tent rather than leaving her with some boys looking for "fun"

last night my husband and I

Thu, 10/06/2016 - 18:05

last night my husband and I were talking in bed about the kind of young man we want Grayson to become....we want him to be the kind to walk home someone who could be taken advantage of if left behind. 

Thank you for sharing this story.  Just talking...it really is that simple.

C

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