Boys Don't Have Character??

Fri, 05/01/2015 - 08:21
Submitted by Carlin Ross

This poster was hung in the halls of a high school in Wisconsin pre-prom.  What's fascinating is that even in 2015 we're stilled obsessed with the chastity of young women.  Virginity balls be damned, when is America going to get a clue?

If I was a boy, I'd be insulted.  Why don't I have character worth protecting?  And why is it all about me keeping it in my pants?  Why am I the dominant one in the sex act?  Isn't she responsible for her own body?

I'm hoping that by the time Grayson gets to high school the sex ed curriculum we're putting together will replace the fear mongering and misogynistic gender roles they foist on young people.  All they do is overload them with guilt and shame - divorcing them from their bodies while sabotaging their future relationships.

Let them enjoy f*cking prom without your propoganda lining the walls.

Editor in Chief & Keeper of All Things Betty Dodson

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Boys, girls, virtue, and lust

Fri, 05/01/2015 - 12:21

Well said, Carlin. The assumptions about boys and girls apparently haven't changed much since I was a young teen many years ago, and they're insulting to both genders. Girls were not only assumed to have no sexual desires of their own, they were treated as if they were the guardians of a rare treasure box that even they were never allowed to open until the magical marriage spell was said. Girls didn't own their bodies---adults and churches did. Boys were supposed to be like soldiers in an invading army, forever trying to overwhelm the defenses of innately modest and sexless females. A girl who let the 'enemy' inside her gates was a slut with a ruined character; but the social reputation of the boy who 'ruined' her might find itself enhanced. Girls didn't have 'character' because they were kind, interesting, or intelligent---they had it because they were perennial virgins. Character, for girls, was not something positive but merely the absence of ever having had sex. Incredibly insulting and limiting.

One of the consequences of keeping sexual pleasure and the human body a deep, dark, forbidden mystery is distorted sexual and social development, where dishonest power games between the sexes become the norm---yes, sabotaging their future relationships and filling them with guilt and shame. Most adults still can't conceive of young people as mutually respectful persons who can learn about sexual pleasure responsibly, both alone and together. We do very much need a 'Sex and Relationship Education' curriculum that recognizes that respect and sexual expression are completely harmonious and blend together seamlessly in the character of a decent, mature human being.