Because Herpes Isn't a Deal Breaker

Sun, 11/17/2013 - 08:55
Submitted by Carlin Ross

When you're dating, the ultimate fear is herpes - like your vulva falls off or your vagina closes up.  The interesting part is that most people are diagnosed by a visual inspection which is only definitive 60-85% of the time.  That means 25-40% of the time your doctor will tell you you have herpes when you in fact don't.  

I love this film for normalizing herpes, drawing attention to how it's wrongly diagnosed, and helping us laugh about it all.  I dated someone with herpes for several years and never contracted it.  And if I did it wouldn't be the end of the world:

Editor in Chief & Keeper of All Things Betty Dodson

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Herpes

Wed, 10/22/2014 - 08:20
PKB (not verified)

I just found that I have a herpes two years ago. I had sex with my exbf or lover and after one week and my gential was outbreaking and bothered me.  I have no idea what wrong with it and went to see a doctor.  The doctor took my blood test.  My blood test result showed that  negative HIV, no Hepetis and showed the herpres I have.  I was VERY upset and thought I got it from my exbf but My exbf said that he never had a herpres. After that he used the condom and do not want to be relationship with me because he does not want to get herpes from me.  He found his new girlfriend who has no herpres.  Do you think he can get herpes from me?

I have not dated with any men since two years because I am afraid that some men will reject me if I have a herpres.  

Pam

Pam, Herpes is quite common

Thu, 10/23/2014 - 07:46
Kristinavirginia625 (not verified)

Pam,
Herpes is quite common and the majority of people with the virus do not know they have it as they can be asymptomatic. The only true way to know if your ex has herpes is for him to get tested.
That being said, this isn't something to necessarily fret over. If you meet someone and are nearing being intimate with that person, you need to explain that you have herpes, have not had an outbreak recently, take suppressive therapy medication, suggest using conforms, etc. The likelihood of a female passing herpes to a male when an out break is not present and while using condoms and medication together is a whopping 2% chance!
If you are nervous about meeting new people and having to have "the talk", I recommend looking into a dating website like PositiveSingles.com or MPWH.com as both are dedicated to singles living with STDs.
At least then you know you are being honest to potential partners and they are doing the same. I've been on PositiveSingles for 3 months now and met my current boyfriend off of it. :) best of luck!
Kristina

Pam, Herpes is quite common

Thu, 10/23/2014 - 07:47
Kristinavirginia625 (not verified)

Pam,
Herpes is quite common and the majority of people with the virus do not know they have it as they can be asymptomatic. The only true way to know if your ex has herpes is for him to get tested.
That being said, this isn't something to necessarily fret over. If you meet someone and are nearing being intimate with that person, you need to explain that you have herpes, have not had an outbreak recently, take suppressive therapy medication, suggest using conforms, etc. The likelihood of a female passing herpes to a male when an out break is not present and while using condoms and medication together is a whopping 2% chance!
If you are nervous about meeting new people and having to have "the talk", I recommend looking into a dating website like PositiveSingles.com or MPWH.com as both are dedicated to singles living with STDs.
At least then you know you are being honest to potential partners and they are doing the same. I've been on PositiveSingles for 3 months now and met my current boyfriend off of it. :) best of luck!
Kristina

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