I've Learned to Ask for What I Need

Tue, 09/24/2013 - 11:12
Submitted by Carlin Ross

If you want to make peace with your past, heal a broken heart and become a better you, I suggest moving back home with your parents and reformatting 300 video clips on your youtube channel.

That's how I've spent the last few weeks: shuttling between Betty's and my parent's...living out of a bag...and pushing hard to increase our youtube subscriptions.

I didn't realize how much I needed to heal until I looked at myself - at the time capsule of me and Betty on camera over the span of five years. Looking at our youtube clips has been such a transformative experience. I can see the light fade in my eyes, the look of tension in my mouth, and my longing for change. And in a brief few weeks I've seen the color return to my cheeks and my eyes brighten. What I realize now so clearly is that where you live and what you own mean absolutely nothing. I have more joy now with no permanent address than I did living in a penthouse loft. Clarity.

And when I look at the two of us in front of the camera week after week I'm overwhelmed by our commitment. We never waiver. The message is so focused and builds upon itself with each video. And it's fascinating to see the chemistry between Betty and me develop into genuine love and regard. That woman has changed my life.

But, at one point last week, I stopped myself and questioned whether we're as good as we think we are...why we didn't have more subscriptions. Maybe we drank the Kool Aid and didn't realize it. I was struggling with doubt when I realized that we'd never asked anyone to subscribe to our channel.

Several other "sex" channels have been dropped from youtube and I didn't want to rock the boat. In a sense, I'd given up on our channel like I'd given up on my personal happiness. I'd scraped joy right off my plate. 

If you read my blog, then you know that things haven't always been great with my family. They're Christian Fundamentalists and I'm a libertarian. There have been blocks of time when we didn't speak. My childhood was difficult and it didn't have to be...but in many ways I am the woman I am today because of my family. I went to college at 15 because I was taught at home and the state intervened. I went to law school because I knew I had to empower myself. I took on sex because I understood that we control culture by controlling female sexuality.

I will admit that I came home because I needed a place to stow my dog. There was a part of me that didn't want to swallow my pride but I'm glad I did. My parents are in their 70's and they won't be here forever. There's a lot of water under our bridge.  It's not often that you get the opportunity to bury the hatchet and spend time with your parents as an adult. I've acclimated quite successfully to suburbia. I spend my evenings watching Antiques Roadshow and I like it. Just this morning my mother came over, gave me a hug, and said, "I love you living here" to which I replied, "I love living here too."

I'm in transition. I know that I won't be home forever so I'm treasuring every moment. And I've learned to ask for what I need - if we increase our youtube subscriptions, we'll move out of the "sex" ghetto with google and not get dropped in search.

So I'm asking our fans and followers to please subscribe to our youtube channel: http://www.youtube.com/carlincherrybomb

Thank you for supporting us and supporting sex ed.

Editor in Chief & Keeper of All Things Betty Dodson

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hmmmm....

Wed, 09/25/2013 - 00:27

Amazing... you are so inspiring, the honesty with which you show yourself is lovely. I can relate to the expansiveness that letting go brings, and I can also relate to the opposite. 
I am subscribing...

Both of you are very clear

Wed, 09/25/2013 - 12:53
Leonard (not verified)

Both of you are very clear and speak the truth. Your inner light is shining and you are speaking out of experience, what makes you become authorities. That is very special and rare. And in my experience .. this kind of clarity is too much for many people. But .. with an open heart, following your feelings .. you are always fine and right at the point where you belong to.
So .. thanks for sharing your wisdom ;)

I just subscribed & I'm happy for you too!

Thu, 09/26/2013 - 10:59
The 'other' Marisa (not verified)

Carlin, I can appreciate and relate to your candid family story. Maybe your touching story is the 'push' I need to try and reconcile with my parents (especially my mother & the hurt that I've carried around with me).  I know at times it may seem your work & websites are progessing slower than you wish (LOL..since you're type A personality) but realize that sometimes 'baby' steps are many times the best result. During this slower build up before DodsonandRoss.com takes off into the stratosphere (I do believe it will happen) it can afford you with more time to reflect and that is when you really learn, appreciate and measure what is important in your life (thats been the case for me & since I do believe in higher power I believe 'divinity' allows for this so than I'm ready to move forward then and only then). Everday I thank you and Betty for allowing me to attend the Body Sex Workshop it has and continues to be an inspiring and healing 'baby' step for me as I continue to work on loving myself :) You two are 'amazingly amazing' women!  Sign me the 'other' Marisa

some suggestions

Sun, 09/29/2013 - 13:09
robotfriend (not verified)

i've been watching you guys for many years now. i've been coming to the site almost daily for years now too. I am in the young twenties age range.

i have some suggestions if you want more views/followers/visiors.
if you look at other sex positive sites like scarleteen the first thing you realize is that have great branding and website design. i wholehartedly agree with your content and message but if its not presented in a more visual communicative way people wont buy into it, just like good advertising and graphic design.
The videos could be presented in a more fun a creative way, more upbeat and in snippets. look at laci green, she is very upbeat,uses fun backgrounds and is in touch with the current trends. This much appeals to the younger generation, being fresh and relevant. 

I would love to see the dodson and ross site better designed and more current.it looks and feels dated and right now it only appeals to people already looking for the information you provide. A better way to attract more veiwers would be if your site also appealed to men and women who were not exactly looking for the site but stumbled upon it but found it useful,interesting and captivating. 
so step one, create a more cohesive fun loving brand image of dodson and ross.
two, present content in a way thats more upbeat ,bite sized and not so vlog-like.you could get other youtubers onto your show, interview them on their thoughts about sex, or get young veiwers asking you questions dialog style. 
i have a ton of suggestions, feel free to ask me more if you want, i would love to share ideas with you. hope you find some of these suggestions interesting. 

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