Sophie Fontanel describes her "life without sex" which lasted 12 years:
"By giving up sex, I abandoned all this pretense. During the 12 years I didn’t have sex, I learned so much. About my body, the role of art in eroticism, the power of dreams, the softness of clothes, the refuge and the importance of elegance. That I can take more pleasure while watching Robert Redford shampooing Meryl Streep’s hair in “Out of Africa” than being in a bed with a man. Sometimes I took pleasure just by staring at men’s necks. Sometimes, just by listening to a voice. It was libido, trust me. It was desire.
But society doesn’t recognize this kind of felicity. It’s too much! I’ve learned that most people mainly want to prove that they are sexually functioning, and that’s all. Strangely, people are ashamed to admit that they are alone in their beds, which I discovered is a huge pleasure.
Even the pleasure you can give to yourself (everyone asked me about masturbation) is a paradise. Alone, you are so completely free. Your imagination can sleep with who you want, even Cary Grant! He was one of my lovers, actually."
Betty talks about her celibate priestess period where she spent hours masturbating with no partnersex. During this time, she created all the masturbation positions and technique we use in the bodysex groups and that she uses in her private sessions.
And, today, I find myself in the same place. I've had tons of partnersex. I just ended the longest relationship I've ever had (my marriage was over in 6 years) and I'm reconnecting with myself. It feels good to know that my twisted mind can take my places no lover ever has...I'm not dependent on how someone else feels about me. I don't care if I'm attractive because I turn me on. It's complete independence.
I know it won't last forever - that I'll meet a partner and relish the feeling of skin on skin - but it's a beautiful journey and I don't want to miss a moment.