Betty always points out that people talk about having sex but they don't talk about how they had sex - the same is true of orgasms. We say we orgasmed but we don't explain how we got there or what type of orgasm we had in that moment. My orgasms have been my constant companion although they've changed throughout my life.
The earliest orgasm I remember was in the bathtub. When I was a girl, bath time was the only time I was left alone. My mom would run a bath and I'd jump in with my toys waiting until she left to slide out of the bathtub and ever so quietly lock the door behind her. Then I would turn on the faucet, sit down over the drain, and prop my little legs on either side. The water would run over my clitoris until I had my first orgasm. The first orgasm always took the longest. And the thought of my mother catching me made it all more exciting. She never did come back in time to ruin my masturbation party. She was easily distracted so I had a good 15 minutes to myself.
With each orgasm, I would turn down the water flow so by the time I was 3-4 orgasms in just a trickle of water would send me into orgasmic bliss. To this day, I love to have my clit teased with subtle licking and pressure. When I knew my time alone was about to end, I'd slip back out of the tub and unlock the door. One time my mom asked me about the marks on my bottom - I'd been sitting on the bathtub drain for quite a while and it had left little circles all over my cheeks. She never put two and two together.
One afternoon when I came home from school I found my brother up in a tree hanging gym ropes. You know those thick ropes they make you climb for those state fitness tests. We were all very excited to have school gym equipment in our backyard. I had no idea how much I was going to enjoy climbing those ropes.
Every day after school I would climb those ropes. It was probably 20-25 feet to the top. At first, it was just for fun. But as I made my way to the top of the ropes something amazing happened. I had an orgasm - a big orgasm. After the first one, I would climb down the rope a few feet and then right back up. I would have orgasm after orgasm after orgasm. The best part was that I was hidden in the trees surrounded by fresh air, green leaves and soft sunlight. It's such a peaceful memory.
When I became a full-blooded teenager, I graduated to dry humping. I loved to make out with my boyfriend and dry jump to orgasm. I got really good at it...almost too good. I would climb on top and ride away. It was always better if we were both wearing jeans because the stiff seams and his button fly added even more friction.
Ultimately, I moved on to partner sex. At first, I was kind of disappointed. Looking back on it I know why. I just couldn't simulate the direct clitoral stimulation of the faucet, ropes, or jean seams during partner sex. It took me a long time to realize that I could simply use my fingers to stimulate my clitoris myself. I'm not sure why I had this block. Maybe it was body shame or sexual repression but I'd never really touched my clitoris with my own hands. I'd never done manual stimulation. Somehow I thought that someone else was supposed to do that. It took the right boyfriend to set me straight. For that, Larry, I honor you.
I didn't get my first vibrator until I was 30 - the pocket rocket. I had a girlfriend who loved hers. One day while we were passing a sex shop downtown she suggested that I buy one. That took direct clitoral stimulation to a whole new level. I could have an orgasm in a few minutes. I would have one after the other over the course of an hour until one day I chaffed my clit. I didn't get that much satisfaction from the pocket rocket but I got off. It was so small that holding it for too long gave you carpal tunnel. And it reinforced some bad habits. I would slide my legs up the wall behind my bed (just like in the bathtub) and tense up all the muscles in my legs. Yes, I was having orgasms but they weren't satisfying. It was never enough.
Enter Betty Dodson. My mind goes into overload thinking about everything I've learned from this woman...about my body, my orgasm, and my true self. It's all about building sexual energy. Anyone can pop off in a few minutes; in fact, that's what most of us want: we want to have an orgasm as quickly as we can so we don't have to spend so much time with ourselves. You really have to love yourself before you can allow yourself to experience deep pleasure.
Now when I masturbate I start off lubing up my glass dildo. I lie down on my bed with my legs bent shoulder-width apart and slowly penetrate myself. I squeeze my pc muscle and slide it in a little deeper as I release - squeezing and letting go until it's all the way in. Then, I grab my hitachi. I prefer the hitachi for masturbation because of it's size and length. With one hand, I angle my dildo pulling it in and out just an inch or two to stimulate my g-spot. Then I run the hitachi up and down my mound slowly passing over my clitoris as I squeeze my pc muscle and roll up my pelvis then release and repeat.
I've often thought about video taping my masturbation practice to see what I look like. After about 4 orgasms, I'll stop if I'm going to the gym. Otherwise I keep going until I'm sweaty and out of breath. Betty always talks about riding the orgasm aftershocks. Those are amazing. And you can only get there if you spend at least 30-40 minutes stimulating your body.
At this point in my life - I'm 39 - I've finally unlocked my orgasmic potential. I started with tension orgasms tensing my leg muscles in the bathrub...then pressure orgasms rubbing my clit on the ropes...discovered manual stimulation during partner sex...and now Betty's patently rock n' roll orgasms. What a wonderful journey.