I'm making a confession: I'm intimidated...no scared...to head back to Norway. Why? When they broadcast your vulva and your orgasm on national television on their most popular reality show, it's kind of freaky.
Betty was supposed to do a private session with the young reality star who'd never had an orgasm. I was there to play personal assistant. When she got cold feet on set, they asked me to play vulva stunt double and I had a minute to make up my mind - rather to put my money pussy where my mouth is. And I didn't hesitate. I knew what we were doing, I knew the impact, and I also knew we'd be on a plane headed back to nyc before they'd even finished editing our episode.
When our episode aired, sexologists around the world applauded us. Most viewers were supportive but some thought it was porn. It's interesting how explicit male imagery is normative but female sexual imagery is pornographic. In that same episode a young man makes his first trip to the urologist where he's shown images of penises and they discuss size, shape etc. No one thought it was porn. Maybe it was the orgasm. It was the orgasm.
Several commenters remarked about how I'd never get married now that the world had seen my wares. I laughed at first but then it kind of hurt. It brought back all the past rejections from family, friends, lovers, potential husbands. It breaks your heart when you believe in something so intensely that you sacrifice everything - even your personal happiness - but people can't see who you really are because of their own sexual repression. Their reaction is exactly why you're doing what you're doing...but you still want to be accepted.
Sex is normal. Sex is intimacy. Sex is the only reason we're here. But we can't talk about it. Well, we can but only if we stick to the myths. We can use sex to market entertainment and hawk shitty products but have a real informative conversation about sex and it's pornography. And I'm fucking sick of pornography. It's everywhere. Even GE has pornographic holdings. We spend billions to watch other people fuck but say "clitoris" on television - "vagina" in the state legislature - and you're censored. Does anyone else get how fucked up this is?
So here I am heading back to the place that made my vulva famous wishing I was on a beach somewhere - not preparing for 8 days of television interviews. But I need to check my fear and let go of the shame because I love what I do...I love who I am...and we're putting the vulva on the map.