Send Your Nasty Emails. I Still Love Beautiful Agony

Tue, 06/07/2011 - 09:59
Submitted by Carlin Ross

It isn't often that you're threatened with legal action for embedding someone's youtube clip on your site.  Yesterday, I got a nasty email from the production company who produced Face - the documentary on

Let me say that I love Beautifiul Agony.  It's a wonderful site that includes video clips of real people masturbating to orgasm.  There's no nudity.  The camera catches each person masturbating from the shoulders up.  It's refreshing to see real orgasms.  

Liandra's entree into erotica started with Beautiful Agony.  She posted the clips to their doc as part of her D&R blog.  Betty loved the film.   Then I got that nasty email.  They alleged that we had engaged in some sort of "illegal" behavior and if we didn't remove the clips we'd face legal action.  WTF!  Then, Liandra shot me an email on facebook letting me know that things were a buzz.  The row began.

My first instinct as an attorney was that something was up.  I explained that if someone had illegally posted their film to youtube to contact youtube - if they didn't want sharing enabled on their clip then they could change their settings.  It was so rude that I ended my email with a "go fuck yourself".  I really resent it when people try to strong arm you.  Why not simply ask me to take it down?  Threatening me with legal action just makes me push back.  I pushed back.

Several emails went back and forth.  I couldn't understand why this production company had such a hard on for us.  They questioned whether or not I'm an attorney and stated that they'd reference my emails in lectures.  I'm not sure what sort of lectures they were talking about but I stand by my statements.  I have nothing to hide.

Then it hit me.  They don't want to disable sharing on youtube because they want sites to link to their film - they just don't want our site linking to it.  Ouch.  That hurt.  How could producers of a film on masturbation not get who Betty Dodson is and how great our site is to promote their film? 

Liandra let me know that the film's creator and the women behind had no problem with their film being associated with our site.  How could they? 

It's still shocking when we get dropped from google search for having too many "sex" keywords, when ad networks call us "porn", when we're told we can't use the word "clitoris" on television, and when rinky dink production companies think they're too good for Betty Dodson.  They just don't get it. 

Sex information is still scary shit to most people.  We keep perpetuating sexual myths as our STD rates and teen pregnancy rates climb higher and higher.  1 in 2 marriages fail - could it be that there's a problem in the bedroom?  Maybe if we knew more about our bodies and how to be intimate and bond with our partners our relationships would be stronger.  

But some people do get it.  I emailed stumbleupon when they wouldn't list our site.  I challenged them to check out D&R and tell me that it was porn and that they needed a new category for sex information.  They agreed.  And when I applied to kickstarter to certify our documentary on Betty's Bodysex Groups I crossed my fingers and accepted that it probably wouldn't be ceritified.  Our project was certified.  They got it. 

Betty devoted the last 45 years of her life to sex education and liberating female sexuality.  Right here, right now I'm devoting my life to furthering Betty's work.  I don't care how many nasty emails I get from sexually repressed self righteous assholes.  I won't stop until sex ed is in every school, intentional motherhood is the norm, and every woman is orgasmic.  

And if you get in my way - you can go fuck yourself!

Editor in Chief & Keeper of All Things Betty Dodson

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It's sad to know we are still

Tue, 06/07/2011 - 10:46

It's sad to know we are still living in a hypocritical, ridiculously
judgmental and mostly stupid world. Sad state of affairs. I wish some sensible celebrity would talk
about this. Why? Because celebrities are people who have a sort of halo
effect on their audiences and other people. So I always wondered why
they never used this for good? Somebody should say something, do
something, stand up..


Tue, 06/07/2011 - 10:48
VirginMonoblogger (not verified)

When I say this, I mean it completely: You are fucking amazing and I love you. Seriously.

I wanna be like Betty and Carlin when I grow up.

@VMB that is exactly what I was going to write ;) NT

SarZol's picture
Tue, 06/07/2011 - 11:00



Tue, 06/07/2011 - 11:43
dolfun (not verified)

You go Carlin! and once again it is fear based..!..let's keep the orgasms going-full speed ahead!...this is just the beginning.....we will walk through this in the highest orgasmic vibration!....
Betty&Carlin! Betty&Carlin! 

YES. Where's the 'Like' button?

Tue, 06/07/2011 - 13:00
B (not verified)

Seriously, this information is fabulous and they don't know what they're missing.
All great things have been met with fear and misunderstanding.
Keep it up! We love you!

I'm sure the people who made

Tue, 06/07/2011 - 13:20
Jake E

I'm sure the people who made the doc would be pleased to be associated with Dods and Ross. I Googled Matchbox pictures and they seem quite big. The letter sounds like the work of an office wonk.  You only have to see the home page here and watch the video  and it's pretty obvious what this site is about. If someone can't see that or read in the banner  "sex information online" I doubt if they're in charge of any actual decision making and if they were Face wouldn't have got made in the 1st place. . 

Love this...

Tue, 06/07/2011 - 16:04
Kait (not verified)

Totally just quoted your last paragraph everywhere...I'm a sex educator whose life has been turned around by the knowledge I've gained on this site.  My students are always in awe when I can speak knowledgably about sexual lifestyles other than monogamy...and I like to think many are thankful for it.

Thank you for keeping right on fighting! 


Marias Chaos's picture
Tue, 06/07/2011 - 17:32
Marias Chaos

D&R's Strength will prevail!

Not the first time.

Tue, 06/07/2011 - 22:19
gail (not verified)

Hi Carlin,
i came across that documentary a few months ago on youtube, bookmarked it, and later found  it had been taken down due to a copyright claim by the production company. 
you might watch to see if these clips are removed again from youtube in the next few days -as this production company has a history of this kind of action, their objection might not be to what you represent. 
sorry you had to experience their rudeness, either way.

But D&R vids are on their site??

Marias Chaos's picture
Tue, 06/07/2011 - 22:39
Marias Chaos

I just had the time to venture over to the Beautiful Agony site and I am confused. I see they have posted one of your vids in the overkill section...?

We love D & R at Beautiful

Wed, 06/08/2011 - 00:51
Lauren Olney (not verified)

We love D & R at Beautiful Agony!! x


Marias Chaos's picture
Wed, 06/08/2011 - 21:02
Marias Chaos

So the letters Carlin received were not from, but a production company...and they are the ones who dont want clips linked on D&R?
I think it is actually important that no one misunderstand that the site owners are not the same people...
 I am still confused anyways-cause none of it makes sense to begin with...Don't know why someone wouldn't want to be linked


raindropoflife's picture
Thu, 06/09/2011 - 20:23