Carlin Ross's blog

The Next Bodysex Workshops

Thu, 09/14/2017 - 07:01
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Taking a bodysex workshop is transformative.  We focus on overcoming negative body image and pleasure anxiety. 

Yes, they're done in the nude but it's not sexual.  Betty developed these workshops using the consciousness raising model of second wave feminism where women got together and shared their experience first person. You can read about past workshops to better understand the experience here (scroll down to read blog posts written by Carlin and our Bodysex leaders).

Whatever your race, orientation, upbringing, or country of origin, we have wounds to heal. All are welcome.

The next workshops will be held Spring 2018 on these dates. It's a two day workshop:

Bodysex Certification

Thu, 11/17/2016 - 15:00
Submitted by Carlin Ross

If you have any questions or would like to start the certification process, send an email to


Our goal is to certify women to hold their own Bodysex workshops so that the Betty Dodson method of self-love and sisterhood continues and expands to every country around the world.

When Betty and I first got together, we had this vision of a world map with red lights being illuminated every time someone clicked on D&R. Now we feel that those red lights represent women certified in the Betty Dodson method as each woman holds her own Bodysex workshops.

Working Through Painful Penetration

Thu, 02/25/2016 - 20:02
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I've always been a size queen and I've always been able to penetrate my vagina with ease. When women would share their stories of pain during penetration and how it affected their lives, I couldn't relate...until after I gave birth.

Despite opting for a midwife and choosing a birthing center, I ended up having a C-section. Grayson weighed in at 9 pounds. I thought I could control the weight of my baby by limiting my weight gain during pregnancy. WRONG. I gained 15 pounds but he was huge. There was simply no way I could have had a vaginal birth.

Our Latest Ebook & Vulva Anatomy

Wed, 02/13/2013 - 17:22
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I'm really focused on ebooks right now because it's the easiest way for us to get our information out globally and keep the lights on.  Betty's memoir My Romantic Love Wars is out as an ebook and we're releasing several how-to sex ebooks including my first writing venture

The Range of Vulva Styles

Mon, 09/24/2012 - 13:43
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Betty sketched these vulvas for the release of her international best seller Sex for One.

Back in the 70's, during the Genital Show & Tell ritual in her Bodysex workshops, Betty started identifying the "style" of each vulva using architectural styles as a reference.

Scarleteen and Planned Parenthood have reproduced these images for their educational content.  Knowing that there is a range of vulva types has healed millions of women and men.


This Group Breastfeeding Pic is Everything

Wed, 03/14/2018 - 07:19
Submitted by Carlin Ross

This photograph by Trina Cary is so moving.  She was inspired to capture women - post partum nursing their babies - to shift the dialogue from one of tragedy and trauma to power.

The story behind how it all unfolded reminds me of Bodysex. Originally, the image was supposed to be on the beach with "clothed" moms then things changed:

"The best, most magical part was, once she got naked, one by one, two by two they all peeled their clothes off and ran together, embracing and loving each other. I couldn't wipe the smile from my face," she wrote on her blog. "I just love it when strangers come together and support each other's journeys and bodies. The whole evening was oozing with empowerment, support, and love."

Because Bad Girls Say No

Tue, 03/13/2018 - 08:16
Submitted by Carlin Ross

We have this cultural myth that if we leave young girls in the dark about their bodies, deny the clitoris, and shame them against sexual experimentation (thank you virginity myth & slut stigma) that they will remain chaste and only have intercourse when they're married. The sexual double standard has always been about limiting female sexual activity.

New research has found that sexually experienced women - women who valued their sexual pleasure - were more likely to say no to unwanted sexual contact while inexperienced women were more likely to engage in unwanted sexual contact. In other words, bad girls say no and good girls say yes.

Bodysex in Harper's Bazaar

Thu, 03/08/2018 - 08:50
Submitted by Carlin Ross

We've had several media outlets cover Bodysex but yesterday's piece in Harper's Bazaar is the best one yet. 

The images are perfection especially the vulva diagram with the clitoris front and center.  When fashion magazines are publishing this sort of sex ed content, expressly for women, it makes you tingle.  We are at a tipping point and this new wave of feminism is a fucking tsunami.

This is my favorite passage because it speaks to our orgasm expectations.  Thank you, Suzannah, for putting yourself out there and getting it right:

Gap's New Instagram Ad = Breastfeeding Perfection

Tue, 02/27/2018 - 15:29
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Not only do they show direct nipple contact and breast curve but they featured a woman of color breastfeeding her toddler.  This isn't a newborn baby but a child that's at least one years old.

When Grayson saw this image, he announced, "he's so cute".  Thank you, Gap for normalizing breastfeeding and normalizing breastfeeding your todder.  Grayson will be three this week and he still crawls into our bed in the mornings to nurse.  It's a commitment that's well worth it because he's never been sick.  Breast milk is nature's elixir.

Raising Happy, Grounded Self-Sexual Sons

Wed, 02/07/2018 - 10:51
Submitted by Carlin Ross

One of the most contentious posts on the site is a question sent to Betty by a pregnant mom, "How Do I Feminize My Son". Users went crazy because it seemed that this mom-to-be wanted to minimize her future son's masculinity. I think she chose an unfortunate title for her question. Now that I'm raising a boy I better understand what she really meant.

From Trauma to Orgasms

Sun, 12/31/2017 - 16:47
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Every Woman on the Planet Has Been Sexually Traumatized.

At best, we've been objectified, demeaned, shamed, guilted, and manipulated into believing that we don't deserve pleasure on our own terms. At worst, we've been groped, assaulted, raped and blamed for male lust. Betty and I have traveled the globe and there isn't a society or culture where women have true sexual equality. The clitoris is ignored. The female model of sexual response isn't even part of the discussion. Procreate sex reigns supreme. Female chastity and male dominance are the norm and, sadly, the rape culture persists.

Because Pleasure Creates Compassion

Thu, 12/14/2017 - 10:37
Submitted by Carlin Ross

Betty's been running workshops on and off for three decades. I've co-run about 40 workshops over the past five years. This past weekend's workshop was the best workshop we've ever done together.

I'm not sure whether it was the women...the new feminist swell of activism...our partnership but something seemed righter, more honest - special. I think that's how growth works. It just happens. You strive and struggle and push - give up - and then it just appears like an orgasm. You have to want more. You have to do the work. You have to accept failure. You have to keep going.

Terje Brought Pansexuality to Us All

Thu, 12/07/2017 - 10:01
Submitted by Carlin Ross
Betty and Terje

This past week we lost a champion of sex and wonderful soul, Terje Gammelsrud. 

His magazine, Cupido, was everything I always wanted...beautiful, authentic images of sexual expression inclusive of gender, orientation, and preference.  I remember the first time I thumbed through Cupido.  It was a journey.  Sex acts and people of every persuasion titilated by senses and I found myself drawn to specific pages that I never thought I would find stimulating.  That was his art - he presented democratic sex that left the reader more compassionate and self aware than they were before experiencing his magazine.

Terje and Cupido were pansexual before we knew what that was...he was one of the greats. 

I Love Her Face

Tue, 11/28/2017 - 08:20
Submitted by Carlin Ross

I caught this recent photo of Isabella Rossellini and was totally enamored.  I love her wrinkles.  It's so rare that you get to see a natural face in Hollywood that she's a breath of fresh air.

As I start to see the signs of age on my face, there's this pull to plump out my lips and tighten the skin under my eyes.  I say, "fuck it".  The most feminist thing I can do is age. 

I'm a middle-aged mom looking at the next milestone: fifty and I'm going to celebrate every wrinkle.