Sex Can Bring One Measure of Peace to Assuage The Pain

Tue, 09/09/2014 - 07:37
Submitted by Anonymous

Why write about gay male sex experience & technique here?

I respect, believe in and love what Betty & Carlin and the rest of the tribe are doing here. I truly feel we are physical beings first. Get that right, and we’ve got a shot at being good emotional beings.

And if we get that right we’ve got a shot at being good intellectual beings. And get that right we’ve got a chance of connecting spiritually with the world and being physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually at peace.

As a Buddhist and Friend I realize life is full of pain. I know that spiritual centering and love - and sex itself - can bring one measure of peace to assuage that pain. But as a physical being I know that pleasuring myself and others also can do much to offset that pain.

Opening myself up physically to myself and to others enables me to join the human race in many ways. I shall always be alone. And I can bridge that gap physically in ways beyond the limitations of words, belief, reason, knowledge and even ability.

Two who love each other can love another in ways that transcend technique and defy belief. Three loving each other can be self-renewing, fun play. Using the techniques of focusing and flow enable us to know our sexual & physical selves far more totally and enable us to transcend knowledge to create & renew sexual & physical links to our many selves and to the many selves of others.

What would be BAD commandments? What did BAD learn from her burning bush? What did she bring down off the mountain? What did BAD learn from all those attempts at pleasuring that fell short, that led the wrong way - that simply failed?

Have deep orgasms that blow your mind into its proper place in your life.

If it feels good, you’re on the right track. If it hurts or doesn’t feel right, stop it.

Pleasure is a great teacher, leader, and mentor.

Pay attention to the messages of pain. Avoid pain simply by pursuing that which brings you pleasure.

Pursuing pleasure is but a first step. Accepting, embracing and working with pleasure enables us to probe deeper, longer lasting, and immensely more satisfying ways of pleasuring ourselves and others. Pleasure is the path. Feelings of pain, lack, and frustration tell us simply we’re off the path of pleasuring.

Pleasuring oneself enhances immensely the ability to pleasure others.

Pleasuring others opens up the possibilities of acknowledging, accepting, working with, being with, embracing, enhancing, and loving others.

Coupleship can be a laboratory in which self-love and love of another can create love for others. It can be a launching pad for sharing love in many ways with others. Love that will reverberate back upon you multiplied.

Share love with those who demonstrate an ability to love themselves and share the results of that love with others.

Loving oneself and then one other brings bliss, contentment, oneness, and peace all of which enhance our ability to be with, work with, play with, and love others.

Coupleship is not a destination and certainly not a fortress.

The body gives messages of what works and what doesn’t. Listening & looking for that can enable us to realize what to do next.

Rules, restrictions and regulations hamper the feedback, guidance, inspiration, and teaching our body & feelings give us all the time.

The mind is of little use in discovering, managing & living the basics of our lives as human beings.

Love yourself , love another physically and you have a chance of loving yourself & your partner in other ways.

Failing to pleasure yourself & your partner will contribute to making you a grumpy, bitter, and unhappy human being.

Failing to pleasure yourself & your partner can tempt, motivate and lead you to try to fill that hole with many inappropriate and unsatisfying things.

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Interesting Ideas

Tue, 09/09/2014 - 14:45

I really enjoyed your post - thank you. Isn't this the ideal site to discuss sex experience and technique, whether gay or straight? We're all human, however we label ourselves.

Personally, I'm happy reducing the commandments down to the basic two Christian ideals: love your God (feel free to replace with spirituality of choice or none) and love your neighbour as your self. If we can truly love with all of our hearts, our soul and mind then we will fulfill our full potential and live worthwhile lives. Usually I settle for trying and failing but that's good enough.

Most of your commandments can be encompassed within these two but there are a couple of ideas that made me think carefully.

Avoid pain simply by pursuing that which brings you pleasure.
Sometimes we hurt other people and ourselves, mostly by accident, sometimes deliberately. Occasionally the thing/person bringing the most pleasure also brings great pain. Life is risky and some of the growing up emotionally is very painful indeed. I wouldn't want to have avoided all of the pain in my life because some of it was necessary.

Pleasure is the path...The mind is of little use in discovering, managing & living the basics of our lives as human beings
I was wondering how do these ideas fit with the buddhist theory that pleasure (and pain) are transitory and the objective should be to reject both as motivations ie.subsume the ego and focus more on the rational mind as a means of achieving "oneness" Let me know if I've misunderstood the concepts.
Whilst I have little patience with the dour Calvinist distrust of all pleasure, it seems similarly unwise to regard it as a universal good. Pleasure can be used to distract ourselves from some of the unpleasant things that we need to get done to move forwards.

Failing to pleasure yourself & your partner can tempt, motivate and lead you to try to fill that hole with many inappropriate and unsatisfying things.
Man is a social animal, with a deep seated need to interract and engage with other people. Sex is a big part of this but it isn't the only way we connect. Sex is important for most (but not all) of us but in this instance could the word "pleasure" be more usefully replaced with "intimacy"
In some circumstances we use sex, pleasure and pain, to distract ourselves from bigger problems, to avoid real intimacy with people. In some circumstances, sex becomes the "inappropriate and unsatisfying thing"

PS Am I the only one who finds it strange that being "a Friend" could mean either a quaker (my assumption) or a referror to play World of Warcraft on-line (my partner's assumption) Neither definition is inconsistent with being buddhist but they do feel rather different. Weird.