A while back, a teenager wrote D & R expressing her disgust that her boyfriend and his older brother had engaged in mutual masturbation. I think sexual play among young family members and friends is natural, innate if you will.
By innate, I mean that we are all hardwired to engage in sexual activity and this starts percolating in us at very early ages. It’s part of our psychological and physical constitution. We are by nature sexual beings.
I can recall engaging in solo and paired sexual play with my brother, sister, cousin, and neighbor way before we all reached the age of ten. I knew nothing other than what simply came naturally, felt good, and was fun for me and everyone. We were just following our instincts with people we loved. However, one attempt at sexual play unexpectedly ended up igniting parental wrath and sore fannies.
I was four years old and hanging out in the woods with four year old Linda. We agreed to drop our pants and rub derrieres. After a dozen rubs, up went our pants and on to other play. Linda’s little sister had unwittingly caught us in the act and promptly informed her mom who then called my mom. The moms caused a scandal over the event severely chastising Linda and me for our impromptu butt dance.
I came away from that experience feeling pretty bad about what I did. No harm done, although in retrospect, I did get a late start exploring post pubescent sex. I can’t say for sure if the spanking I suffered put a trauma wrinkle in the folds of my brain such as those that appear in a baby upon being circumcised. Damaged goods. Unexpected acute pain, like any traumatic experience, becomes part of our schema, our way of looking at and interacting with the world.
The way I figure, it’s neither good nor bad, all depends on how we mend, grow, and learn to live/love life.
With whom better to share our sexual awakening than with those we love and trust. Family. Friends. My teenaged cousin was the first to explain to me what an orgasm felt like. Soon after, I had my first while masturbating in the shower. My sexuality blossomed in my late teens then shifted into high gear while living in a Pacific paradise- Tonga and testosterone, island erotics, becoming a bonafide sexual epicure.
In retrospect, I don’t blame my mom for that harsh spanking. We were a church-going family in the fifties catechized to address anything sexual as forbidden conduct, a violation of decency. Arms over the covers when sleeping, boys separated from girls at recess, babies arrive via stork delivery.
Times have changed although human sexuality still bears the deep scars from eons of ignorance, many still shudder at the notion of sibling sexual play.