Sweden is now "okay" with public masturbation. On June 6, a 65-year-old man took off his shorts at a beach near Stockholm and began masturbating in the ocean. The man was charged with sexual assault, but was recently acquitted after a judge ruled he was not targeting a specific person.
Even though the Södertörn District Court's judgment stated it “may be proven that the man exposed himself and masturbated on this occasion,” the court decided the man had not committed a crime since the sexual molestation was not directed at one or more people. In the future public masturbation might be considered disorderly conduct, but in this instance, it was okay to masturbate on the beach.
Now, let’s contrast this with the recent case up in my neck of the woods where a travelling cable repairman, experiencing extended erection time due to his habitual use of Cialis, was apprehended after masturbating while driving on a highway in his company vehicle. Seems a young girl caught a glimpse of his tally whacker and informed her mother who then dutifully reported the incident and license plate to the police. The repairman got slammed with lewd and lascivious behavior and faces jail time.
Here in the USA, unarguably we’ve come a long way since the Puritanical dark ages when even talking about sex could have landed you shackled in a stockade or even tarred and feathered. Nowadays we can shamelessly recreate at nudist facilities or, for the more brazen, partake in serendipitous sexual liaisons at a myriad of clubs and resorts unabashedly dedicated to unrestricted Hedonism. However, all these facilities are carefully cordoned off and protected from haphazard public intrusion. The cable repairman should have had his company vehicle windows polarized or been a tad more discreet. Or maybe not…
I believe people who masturbate are happier and healthier than the vast majority of scornful abstainers who forsake one of life’s most accessible and pleasurable activities. Much more than just providing a good dose of enjoyable endorphins, masturbation profoundly stimulates our nervous and endocrine systems while fortifying our bones and muscles. Most importantly, by loving ourselves emotionally and sexually, we cultivate love for others. The more connected we are to our innate sexuality, the more connected we are to each other.
Maybe it’s time we admit public masturbation to the club of acceptable civil outdoor recreational activities. Think of the numerous benefits to our society if our citizenry were free to pursue an exercise that eradicates denial, sadness, frustration, infirmity, and instead contributes to communal contentment, joy, peacefulness, gratitude, health, and infinite love.
So let’s take a tip from the Swedes…if you see a dude in his car on the highway rubbing a stiffy or a lady at the beach pampering the pussy, casually signal them a ‘thumbs up’. After all, they are investing in the commonwealth and improving our standard of living without levying taxes or adding to the national debt.