Not All Sex Acts Should Culminate in Full Body Orgasms

Mon, 08/26/2013 - 08:56
Submitted by bila kolbe

Do a Google search with the word sexsense and you’ll find it is the ultimate European porn site and also a phone number you can call if you need to know anything about your body, sex, pregnancy, STD's and birth control. But I’m going to put a different spin on the word, one that makes ‘sense’ to me and hopefully for you too.

We depend upon our five senses to navigate the varied landscapes of the physical world and revel in a broad spectrum of colors, odors, textures, sounds, and tastes that stimulates a multitude of regions in our brains. Add into this cornucopia our unique emotional responses to what we perceive and voilà- every waking and dreaming moment is poetry in motion, an exhilarating excursion into the novelty of the present, of the now.

These five senses are innate in some respects and learned in others. Consider a musician’s trained ear as an upgrade to his sense of hearing. A master chef’s palate represents an upgrade to her sense of taste. Educating our senses expands their range of function.

What is sexsense? It is an upgrade to our sense of sex. Sex expands its range of function to include a personal wellspring of physical, mental, and spiritual health. Sex becomes an integral part of our approach to life as are our diet and relationships. We can live our lives more fully and vibrantly by constantly developing our sexsense.

Sexsense for me has been a process of integrating into my sexual politics concepts from the Taoists and Hindus along with understanding what is going on inside my body during solo and paired sex. From Eastern sexuality I learned that not all sex acts should culminate in full body orgasms. In modern terms, I favor ‘edging’, or firing up sexual energy to the brink of spasm without the ‘cup running over’. This enables me to experience sex without limitations of time or energy. I add to this an awareness that sexual energy is flowing throughout my body, especially up into my head and into energy centers associated with the endocrine glands.

From modern medical research, I learned that sexual activity is one of the healthiest forms of physical and mental exercise. I’m fortifying my bones, muscles, brain, endocrine and nervous systems while reaffirming myself and my partner with unconditional love. When I’m sexually stimulated, erotic, passionate, energized, then I am gifted with agelessness, timelessness, and unbounded joie de vivre. I have found my fountain of youth and the same applies to my partner. This has created another layer of appreciation for my/our sexuality and opened routes of personal and relationship growth that allow me/us to explore being all I/we can be.

We are all sexual beings as are all living organisms on this planet. Our perk as human beings is that we can tap into and develop our sexsense while most other life forms are sexual in terms of instinct and conditioning. Sexsense is a journey into sexuality beyond its procreative and recreational functions whereby we enter the realm of its transformative potentials.

"Someday, after we have mastered the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness...the energies of love. Then, for the second time in the history of the world, humanity will have discovered fire."

-Pierre Theilhard de Chardin

love, health, music, sex

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Sexsense or anti-sex?

Tue, 08/27/2013 - 12:21

I think it's a remarkable practice to cultivate using all of our senses and faculties to enjoy our sexuality and our connection to life. Both our solo sex and our relations with partners can be enhanced far beyond the unfulfilling, superficial porn-style sex that so many have been misled into thinking sex should be about.

Having said that, I don't agree with practices that severely restrict male orgasm on the grounds that it's dangerous and depleting to vitality. There is no evidence for this whatsoever. Who would dare to tell women that they should make their orgasms as rare as possible and that wonderful things would happen if they did? Women would rightly see through this at once as a bogus attempt to control and restrict their sexuality, and the same is true of men. Religiously based mistrust of sexuality can take many forms. These notions of conserving 'vital fluids' go back to Taoism and were meant to lead to literal immortality for male practitioners. Needless to say, no immortal Taoists or other orgasm-avoiders have ever been found despite centuries of trying. It's actually more plausible that restricting male orgasm could lead to a build-up of stale, toxic fluids that do more harm than good. Indeed, studies have shown that the more often men ejaculate, the lower their risk of prostate cancer. It's entirely possible to have prolonged, healthful, fully sensual, mutually satisfying lovemaking and as many orgasms as both partners desire.