Hi Dr Betty,
I know you strongly advocate the Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator. I know you've used it for years. I also know that it packs a good punch (i.e. a very strong vibration). After all these years, do you find that you always need that strong vibration in order to come? In other words, do your fingers still do the trick? How about someone's tongue?
I've been thinking about getting the Hitachi (since I've never owned a vibrator before) but I don't want to become dependent on it. I love my hubby's tongue on my pussy and would hate to become desensitized to it, if you know what I mean ;-).
Can that happen with a vibrator? (especially one as strong as the Hitchai?) In addition to the Hitachi, are there other vibes that your strongly recommend? Thanks so much!
Hi Dr. Betty!
I'm a 22 year old girl virgin and I have been reading your blog for quite a while. I didn't start masturbating till I was 17. At first I tried with a vibrator but it hurts so I am now sticking to my hands. I have a seizure disorder and I am on medication for that, but I am afraid about having an orgasm because I was told that there is a possibility that I might have a seizure while having one!
I did some research and I couldn't find any concrete answer to this, but I am so paranoid that when I masturbate and it starts to feel better, I stop because it also feels like I am about to have a seizure too. I black out after I have a seizure and I have a roommate, so it would be really embarrassed to have our bedroom door locked while I'm unconscious.
I came across your website whilst reading up on labiaplasty. This is something I have been doing for a few years now, but realistically the potential fall out is too great a risk (loss of sensitivity, bleeding, recovery etc). My Problem is I read all of your articles and what women say about their labia's - some say the inner minora is 1/4 of an inch longer... Mine is 2 inches longer than my Labia Majora.
When I was with my girlfriend who used the abortion pill, I couldn't get over the difference between her experience and mine in the 50's where I was literally on a kitchen table while the doctor scrapped out my uterus with a metal instrument while I had nothing to modify the pain during the entire procedure.
Three cheers and a happy birthday mifepristone.
One of the first emails is from a gal writing for a woman’s magazine: They are doing a piece on how women can have the best orgasms/sex life possible from “experts.” I get right to it. The last question is: “What is your own go-to trick when it comes to reaching an orgasm in your own sex/masturbation life?”
Well, I answer, it not a “trick” it’s actually a skill.
Dear Dr. Betty,
I am 48 years old and had my first orgasm at 21 using a shower head. Through the years the only way I can achieve orgasm is by squatting in the shower and tensing up my body and using the shower head. I end up bearing down and bear weight on my toes. It is a big ordeal and I have to stretch out my body, particularly my calf muscles as they get so tight. I then have cramps in my calfs for days. I have presented this issue to many Gynecologists and even a few Sex Therapists and no one seems to be able to help me.
Dear Dr. Betty
Since the age of 13, I have discovered my sexuality and started masturbating. Now that I am 17 and have a boyfriend & I feel like I just cannot orgasm with him. The first time we've had sexual activity was when we were 15, and I feel great pleasure but I never have been able to orgasm on his behalf.
I just take too long. I sometimes feel like I've masturbated so much through those few years that my clit just becomes desensitized after a period of time that keeps me from orgasming. Even when I'm alone in my room, I have trouble doing so, with or without porn (which I pretty much always watched to assist my playing). I don't know what to do. I am tired of lying to him about it and I want to feel these great sensational orgasms as I used to have as a preteen.
I'm K, a 19 year old new England gal. I've been having sex since 18 with both male and female partners, and masturbating since 14 on my own and with toys. However, I've only been able to orgasm one time, with a Trans guy I slept with after an intense dramatic situation with him and my old roommate - and what he did to me was exactly one of the things I did to myself. I was only with him once.
Candice will be missed by many. For the past few months, I'd been encouraging her to "Let go" and end the torturous radiation treatments. Several times recently we'd talked about death and dying. I shared how I saw death as my final orgasm that I'd embrace. After all, no one knows what happens after we die, so when it happens to me, I'll finally "know." I find this idea exciting.
Dear Dr. Betty,
I was raped when I was 16. I never told anyone except my best friend and therapist. It was a very traumatic time and I was in a depressed state for most of my teen years. I had a boyfriend for a year but never had sex with him because I was too scared.
I'm 22 now and I'm in such a better place. Attending therapy helped a lot. I havent had sex since (I've had oral sex) and now I have the chance to hook up with a friend of mine (we both made clear its just sex) and now I'm not sure if I should tell him what happened? My concerns are that it will hurt since it's technically my 'first" time and that I wont know what to do. So my question is should I tell him? Do you think it will hurt a lot?
I am a 29 year-old African American heterosexual male and I came across your videos on you tube a few months ago and first I want to thank you for all you guys and gals do and your great work.
I must admit I have no idea how to express my problem. My friends masturbate a lot and as friends always do we share our experiences with each other. But I never felt any lust or desire while masturbating. I tried several times but It did not seem to be my cup of tea. I cannot imagine what it feels like for my friends ,but it never felt well.
The main reason for my lack of lust is that there is nothing or no one who turns me on. I tried to fantasize about men who look really great, but for my pity does not exist (Thor, men in video games), but this was also fruitless...I am never turned on, wet and so on...
But I don't know what is wrong with me and it frustrates me.
I decided to post this email exchange with one of our bloggers, Bila. Everyone knows my feelings about antidepressants and I'm sickened by the FDA's approval of flibanserin. Here's our conversation on the topic:
Bila: I cringed when I read the news that the FDA recently approved the first prescription drug to boost sexual desire in women, especially concocted for those who report emotional stress due to a lack of libido. Addyi, Big Pharma’s Viagra-esque gift to women, had been rejected in 2010 and 2013 due to its harmful side effects including nausea, drowsiness, dizziness, fainting, and dangerous lowering of blood pressure, as well as lackluster effectiveness. During clinical trials, 14 per cent of participants dropped out due to adverse side-effects.
Dear Dr. Betty,
I'm a 31 year old man who has barely any dating experience and am a virgin. I have a hard time talking to women and have been friend zoned so many times. I am considering traveling to Nevada to visit a legal brothel to lose my virginity.
Whats your take on that? Do you have any pro's or cons that I may not have considered? Do you think I should just be patient and try and talk to women more often?
If you can afford to make the trip, I'm all for it. I believe it's best for any young man (or woman for that matter), to have first time penetration sex with an older experienced partner. Two beginners stumbling through amaze of mis-information or no-information is often a disaster.
Hi Dr. Betty,
I'm 17 years old and really want to become sexually active. However I am worried that I am not 100% normal down there/ if there is something wrong with my vagina because to me it doesn't seem completely right; so I'm worried about having sex. I'm also worried about the pain of the first time.
I don't really know what to do and I am too embarrassed to talk to anybody about it. Do you have any advice?