Betty Dodson's blog

I Can’t Imagine How Nordic Sex Educators View Me

Sun, 11/01/2015 - 06:49
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Not long ago I wondered if I’d ever be invited to open a conference by delivering the keynote talk. After all, as a best selling feminist author who has also conducted countless Bodysex workshops worldwide, I’ve been teaching women how to harness the power of electric vibrators for independent orgasms along with overcoming genital shame and body loathing. As a one woman masturbation crusader, I doubt I’ll ever be embraced by any patriarchal/matriarchal system that makes up our so-called “democracies.” This is especially true in America where fundamental religiosity has consumed the Republican Party that’s now hell bent on controlling women’s sexuality. A project doomed to fail.

21 Year Old Virgin with Vibrator Problems

Wed, 10/28/2015 - 07:36
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

My name's A, and I'm a 21-year old female virgin. For my 21-st B-day three weeks ago, I decided to try something new with my masturbation life and buy myself my first genuine vibrator. After a few days of researching for the best one, I settled for a $40 silicone clitoral vibe and was thrilled to start using it.

And, like most youth, I was impatient and slammed the vibe onto my vulva expecting to feel instant gratification... well, it did feel good for about 1-2 mins, but then my vulva got numb and I got frustrated and just stopped. So, ever since then I've been experimenting with different techniques to make using a vibrator work for me.

Why Don't Women Enjoy Their "Scent"?

Fri, 10/23/2015 - 07:53
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

The scent of used panties sends a powerful jolt to my penis, especially the scent in the midcycle fertility. The real thing does that too but not to the extent of the concentrated scent on panties.

Why don't women accept this as a compliment instead of treating it as a yuck?

Dear J,

It's an advanced women who can enjoy her own scent especially when it's pungent during ovulation or after a period. Most of us are overly concerned about smelling like a rose at all times. Just look at the cosmetic and perfume industries raking in a fortune to avoid smelling human.

Virgin GF Has a Totally Desensitized Vagina

Tue, 10/20/2015 - 07:42
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I'm a 26 year old male and my girlfriend is a 23 year old virgin. She's not a virgin because of any religious reasons, but because she just never really found the right guy to do it with. Honestly, I take no issue with that choice what so ever. I adore this girl more than I can describe and we would do anything for each other. This is by far the best relationship I've ever been in.

Lately though, she's been talking about wanting to finally take the plunge...or finally letting me take the plunge. Either way, I have some concerns.

Why Do I Yearn for Human Connection with Another Woman

Mon, 10/19/2015 - 05:55
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dearest Betty and Carlin:

My wife and I both grew up in fairly dysfunctional (but non-abusive) families where sexual dialogue and education didn't exist. I was heavily committed to an evangelical religious worldview during my adolescent and young adult years, and we both came to our marriage bed as virgins, however one might define that term--no penetrative sex with any other human beings, save for one R-rated event during college on my part. I was 28 and she was 26. I was "saving it for Jesus--" with the hopes of a 0-60mph blissful eternal sexual life, a deferred-pleasure reward for being so strong and self-disciplined, and non-sinful.

Am I Too Young to Use a Sex Toy?

Wed, 10/14/2015 - 08:33
Submitted by Betty Dodson


I am a healthy 22-year-old female, and sadly, I have not had sex in over a year now. I can reach orgasm on my own by clitoral stimulation, but orgasm only once because my clit is too sensitive, although there were a few rare times that I was able to orgasm twice. So my question to you is this... am I too young to use a sex toy?

And if not which will you recommend me to try? I was thinking about a dildo, but the problem is that I still live with my parents and I do not think I'll be able to hide it well. Looking forward to hearing from you!

Dear M,

Will the Hitachi Desensitize Me to My Husband's Tongue?

Mon, 10/12/2015 - 09:46
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr Betty,

I know you strongly advocate the Hitachi Magic Wand vibrator. I know you've used it for years. I also know that it packs a good punch (i.e. a very strong vibration). After all these years, do you find that you always need that strong vibration in order to come? In other words, do your fingers still do the trick? How about someone's tongue?

I've been thinking about getting the Hitachi (since I've never owned a vibrator before) but I don't want to become dependent on it. I love my hubby's tongue on my pussy and would hate to become desensitized to it, if you know what I mean ;-).

Can that happen with a vibrator? (especially one as strong as the Hitchai?) In addition to the Hitachi, are there other vibes that your strongly recommend? Thanks so much!


Dear C,

I'm Afraid to Have an Orgasm

Tue, 10/06/2015 - 10:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty!

I'm a 22 year old girl virgin and I have been reading your blog for quite a while. I didn't start masturbating till I was 17. At first I tried with a vibrator but it hurts so I am now sticking to my hands. I have a seizure disorder and I am on medication for that, but I am afraid about having an orgasm because I was told that there is a possibility that I might have a seizure while having one!

I did some research and I couldn't find any concrete answer to this, but I am so paranoid that when I masturbate and it starts to feel better, I stop because it also feels like I am about to have a seizure too. I black out after I have a seizure and I have a roommate, so it would be really embarrassed to have our bedroom door locked while I'm unconscious.

Don't Know Where I Am on the Labia Scale of Normal

Mon, 10/05/2015 - 07:12
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I came across your website whilst reading up on labiaplasty. This is something I have been doing for a few years now, but realistically the potential fall out is too great a risk (loss of sensitivity, bleeding, recovery etc). My Problem is I read all of your articles and what women say about their labia's - some say the inner minora is 1/4 of an inch longer... Mine is 2 inches longer than my Labia Majora.

Because the Abortion Pill is 99.8% Effective & Safe

Mon, 09/28/2015 - 15:37
Submitted by Betty Dodson

When I was with my girlfriend who used the abortion pill, I couldn't get over the difference between her experience and mine in the 50's where I was literally on a kitchen table while the doctor scrapped out my uterus with a metal instrument while I had nothing to modify the pain during the entire procedure.

Three cheers and a happy birthday mifepristone.

My Go To "Trick" for Orgasm

Sat, 09/26/2015 - 07:45
Submitted by Betty Dodson

One of the first emails is from a gal writing for a woman’s magazine: They are doing a piece on how women can have the best orgasms/sex life possible from “experts.” I get right to it. The last question is: “What is your own go-to trick when it comes to reaching an orgasm in your own sex/masturbation life?”

Well, I answer, it not a “trick” it’s actually a skill.

I Orgasm By Squatting in the Shower & Tensing Up

Wed, 09/23/2015 - 16:20
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am 48 years old and had my first orgasm at 21 using a shower head. Through the years the only way I can achieve orgasm is by squatting in the shower and tensing up my body and using the shower head. I end up bearing down and bear weight on my toes. It is a big ordeal and I have to stretch out my body, particularly my calf muscles as they get so tight. I then have cramps in my calfs for days. I have presented this issue to many Gynecologists and even a few Sex Therapists and no one seems to be able to help me.

Need Advice on Orgasms, Birth Control & Nipple Play

Fri, 09/18/2015 - 15:41
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty

Since the age of 13, I have discovered my sexuality and started masturbating. Now that I am 17 and have a boyfriend & I feel like I just cannot orgasm with him. The first time we've had sexual activity was when we were 15, and I feel great pleasure but I never have been able to orgasm on his behalf.

I just take too long. I sometimes feel like I've masturbated so much through those few years that my clit just becomes desensitized after a period of time that keeps me from orgasming. Even when I'm alone in my room, I have trouble doing so, with or without porn (which I pretty much always watched to assist my playing). I don't know what to do. I am tired of lying to him about it and I want to feel these great sensational orgasms as I used to have as a preteen.

I've Only Been Able to Orgasm One Time

Thu, 09/10/2015 - 08:43
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hey Betty!

I'm K, a 19 year old new England gal. I've been having sex since 18 with both male and female partners, and masturbating since 14 on my own and with toys. However, I've only been able to orgasm one time, with a Trans guy I slept with after an intense dramatic situation with him and my old roommate - and what he did to me was exactly one of the things I did to myself. I was only with him once.

Candice Will be Missed by Many

Tue, 09/08/2015 - 14:38
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Candice will be missed by many. For the past few months, I'd been encouraging her to "Let go" and end the torturous radiation treatments. Several times recently we'd talked about death and dying. I shared how I saw death as my final orgasm that I'd embrace. After all, no one knows what happens after we die, so when it happens to me, I'll finally "know." I find this idea exciting.