Hello Dr. Betty,
I have been reading the wealth of information on your site for some time now and it has proved invaluable to my understanding of my wife's needs, has increased the quality of our sexual relationship and has improved the maturity of my views on what constitutes a mature, healthy sexual relationship. It's like free therapy and I thank you.
Hi Dr. Betty,
My boyfriend is a god, he's great with his hands, great with his mouth and everything else. He gets off making me feel good. He's amazing! But I've never had an orgasm, every time I get close I get freaked out, if I'm masturbating, I stop, if it's my boyfriend, I end up fighting him off. The feeling of getting there is already so intense that my body freaks out before climax and I have to stop. Please help.
Several years ago, I was invited to take part in one of Faith Popcorn's think tanks. This was long before Occupy Wall Street so I was far more impressed with large corporations that I now see as dinosaurs about to become extinct.
Faith was well paid for her future predictions so all the PR vultures could swoop down and feed off consumers. She’s been very good at calling future trends. Her latest one got my clit throbbing with excitement:
“If you think that women are taking over the world, you’re right. Women control $12 trillion of the overall $18.4 trillion in global consumer spending. By the end of the decade there will be more businesses started by women than men. We’re calling this widespread shift SHE-CHANGE.
Recently I've rediscovered the joy of sex, and now I want to put an effort in to trying to get an orgasm, which I still haven't had at the age of 34, not on my own and not with a guy.
A few days back I was masturbating, using only my fingers. I had 1 finger inside my vagina pressing up towards the g-spot and making sideways motions, and the other hand was rubbing my clitoris. After a while I felt this warm and burning feeling in my vulva, my feet were moving like drumsticks and it was really good, but I didn't feel any contractions. My hands and fingers at that time were so tired that I couldn't control them properly anymore so I had to stop. Would you say that this was close to an orgasm and that if I just had continued I probably would have got an orgasm?
Before I start off, I must say that I am really enjoying everything that you and all your readers and contributors have put out on here.
It's great to get some frank talk about sex and masturbation.
My question is this, and I'm sorry if it's a repeat of another person's question. I have 2 boys, aged 6 and 3 (as of next month). My oldest son seems to constantly have his hands down his pants. For the most part, I think that he just puts them there because it's a comfortable way to sit, and I simply remind him to take his hands out of his pants. There are other times, though, that he has his pants down and is full-on masturbating, usually while watching tv.
I used to be able to orgasm with my hands quite reliably and always with a vibrator. UP until my mid-forties I always used masturbation to reach orgasm with a partner. Oral sex brought it about on occasion but never reliably (the last time I came with oral sex was at Burning Man 1998!), though I can get very close this way, and also during intercourse, it seems I hang on the threshold forever.
Dear Dr. Betty,
I am a 27 year old woman who has not had an orgasm since I was 15. I don't know what happened. There was a guy that I liked and he attempted to give me oral sex. All was well until the moment where I was about to release and I somehow stopped myself. I tried everything but, nothing seems to work. Now I have a boyfriend who wants more than anything to please me. The first time he went down on me all was well but, I did not cum.
Is there something wrong with me?
I first of course want to say that your website has changed my life and I am so thankful for the work that you guys do liberating womens' sexuality (reading it made me realize I'm not a freak or unnatural to believe what I've always believed about sex).. it's really a beautiful thing.
It was going on way too many months since I’d given myself a nice big yowling orgasm. This was especially serious since we recently filmed a Bodysex workshop and during the shoot, I was unable to come. I was so exhausted and stressed out I couldn’t get off so I finally just gave up. Worst of all was remembering that during past Bodysex workshops, my group orgasms were always some of my best.
I was referred to you by a friend of my boyfriends after a conversation we had last week. I am 21 and i have been active for 3 years, and up until now i have not had sex with anyone who could even get me close to climax, nor have i done much self loving. Since me and my now BF have started having sex he hasnt gotten me close a few times, just as i have myself the few times ive been alone, but every single time the same thing happens to me when i think i reach climax. Suddenly all the tension building up in my body releases and everything happening feels really akward to me and i get sensitive but it doesnt feel good at all. What is causing this and how can i stop it so that i can actually finish my orgasm and come?
First of all thank you. Thank you for inspiring a 20-year-old young woman from Denmark. You inspire me to inspire other young women to gain more sexual self confidence. Often when I claim to be a feminist I am confronted with prejudice: "that is so 70s!", "so you hate men?" or people just laugh. Young people. I remember once in high school, a girl told that she would wash her boyfriend's boxers, if she had given him a handjob or they had gotten dirty from sex in another way. Apparently because it was her fault. So I asked "does he wash your panties everytime they're dirty from you getting wet?" and the whole class laughed. Apparently that was different...
Apologies if you've spoken on this topic before but I couldn't find any similar questions on the website.
2 years ago I decided to get a contraceptive implant (Implanon), 3 years of protection without any hassle seemed like a dream. The NHS in the UK heavily promotes these as part of their LARC(Lasting and Reliable Contraceptive)scheme and no doubt it has done wonders for unwanted pregnancy figures.
I first started reading you when I purchased 'Orgasms for Two' from a Toronto sex shop in mid-2010. I live in Sydney, Australia. I'm 22 and am close friends with a 21yo female, we have been friends for 4 years. I was her first consensual experience, and we now have started living together while we continue study in Sydney. We don't consider ourselves a couple, but we maintain a sexual relationship. My friend was repeatedly abused for several years up to the age of 14/15 - she can't remember exactly when it started. She was abused by her male cousin, who is just over 1 year older than her. I don't know the exact details, but it involved repeated rape. As she describes it, 'I never had to do more than lay there and avoid getting kissed and penis in my mouth.'
Hey Dr. Betty!
Your website is a fabulous resource; thanks so much.
Onto my question:
I'm hoping you could help me with my current career crisis. So here is the rundown, I've just turned 18 and I haven't got a clue as to what I want to do for a career. I want to explore the different careers in the adult/sex industry. I don't want to get in front of a camera or work a call service but a job where I can learn and talk about sexuality and all the things involed that I can't even fit into this message box. I have an idea of a few careers within the industry and I was thinking you would have some great insight and ideas? I hope you can help me out and I'd really appreciate it. I am a big fan of your site and your work.