Betty Dodson's blog

Takes a Long Time to Orgasm Even with My Vibrator

Thu, 01/26/2012 - 10:11
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I used to be able to orgasm with my hands quite reliably and always with a vibrator. UP until my mid-forties I always used masturbation to reach orgasm with a partner. Oral sex brought it about on occasion but never reliably (the last time I came with oral sex was at Burning Man 1998!), though I can get very close this way, and also during intercourse, it seems I hang on the threshold forever.

I Haven't Had An Orgasm Since I was 15

Wed, 01/25/2012 - 09:14
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am a 27 year old woman who has not had an orgasm since I was 15. I don't know what happened. There was a guy that I liked and he attempted to give me oral sex. All was well until the moment where I was about to release and I somehow stopped myself. I tried everything but, nothing seems to work. Now I have a boyfriend who wants more than anything to please me. The first time he went down on me all was well but, I did not cum.

Is there something wrong with me?

Dear E,

How Do I Get Out There and Become a "Slut"?

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 09:09
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dr. Betty,

I first of course want to say that your website has changed my life and I am so thankful for the work that you guys do liberating womens' sexuality (reading it made me realize I'm not a freak or unnatural to believe what I've always believed about sex).. it's really a beautiful thing. Orgasm

Tue, 01/24/2012 - 08:45
Submitted by Betty Dodson

It was going on way too many months since I’d given myself a nice big yowling orgasm. This was especially serious since we recently filmed a Bodysex workshop and during the shoot, I was unable to come. I was so exhausted and stressed out I couldn’t get off so I finally just gave up. Worst of all was remembering that during past Bodysex workshops, my group orgasms were always some of my best.

Suddenly My Build-up Is Gone and It Doesn't Feel Good Anymore

Mon, 01/23/2012 - 15:16
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I was referred to you by a friend of my boyfriends after a conversation we had last week. I am 21 and i have been active for 3 years, and up until now i have not had sex with anyone who could even get me close to climax, nor have i done much self loving. Since me and my now BF have started having sex he hasnt gotten me close a few times, just as i have myself the few times ive been alone, but every single time the same thing happens to me when i think i reach climax. Suddenly all the tension building up in my body releases and everything happening feels really akward to me and i get sensitive but it doesnt feel good at all. What is causing this and how can i stop it so that i can actually finish my orgasm and come?

Dear B,

How Do I Introduce a Guy to the Ideas of D&R?

Sun, 01/22/2012 - 09:45
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

First of all thank you. Thank you for inspiring a 20-year-old young woman from Denmark. You inspire me to inspire other young women to gain more sexual self confidence. Often when I claim to be a feminist I am confronted with prejudice: "that is so 70s!", "so you hate men?" or people just laugh. Young people. I remember once in high school, a girl told that she would wash her boyfriend's boxers, if she had given him a handjob or they had gotten dirty from sex in another way. Apparently because it was her fault. So I asked "does he wash your panties everytime they're dirty from you getting wet?" and the whole class laughed. Apparently that was different...

Contraceptives Took Away My Craving For Sex

Fri, 01/20/2012 - 08:29
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

Apologies if you've spoken on this topic before but I couldn't find any similar questions on the website.

2 years ago I decided to get a contraceptive implant (Implanon), 3 years of protection without any hassle seemed like a dream. The NHS in the UK heavily promotes these as part of their LARC(Lasting and Reliable Contraceptive)scheme and no doubt it has done wonders for unwanted pregnancy figures.

How Does My Friend Reclaim Her Sexuality After Childhood Abuse?

Thu, 01/19/2012 - 08:59
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I first started reading you when I purchased 'Orgasms for Two' from a Toronto sex shop in mid-2010. I live in Sydney, Australia. I'm 22 and am close friends with a 21yo female, we have been friends for 4 years. I was her first consensual experience, and we now have started living together while we continue study in Sydney. We don't consider ourselves a couple, but we maintain a sexual relationship. My friend was repeatedly abused for several years up to the age of 14/15 - she can't remember exactly when it started. She was abused by her male cousin, who is just over 1 year older than her. I don't know the exact details, but it involved repeated rape. As she describes it, 'I never had to do more than lay there and avoid getting kissed and penis in my mouth.'

I Can Only Orgasm From Hardcore Submissive Fantasies

Tue, 01/17/2012 - 11:41
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hey Dr. Betty!
Your website is a fabulous resource; thanks so much.
Onto my question:

How Do I Get To Learn & Talk About Sexuality?

Mon, 01/16/2012 - 14:09
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I'm hoping you could help me with my current career crisis. So here is the rundown, I've just turned 18 and I haven't got a clue as to what I want to do for a career. I want to explore the different careers in the adult/sex industry. I don't want to get in front of a camera or work a call service but a job where I can learn and talk about sexuality and all the things involed that I can't even fit into this message box. I have an idea of a few careers within the industry and I was thinking you would have some great insight and ideas? I hope you can help me out and I'd really appreciate it. I am a big fan of your site and your work.

Dear B,

What's the State of Feminism?

Mon, 01/16/2012 - 14:08
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Doc Betty, I'll send links to the vid's when I get home. I'm in a public internet cafe now. Not a lot of privacy.

The beach isn't quite itself, not the way I remember it. I wanted to see some topless lovelies, feeling comfortable about their bodies. I did see a few nice, plump, round bosoms. But most were on overweight men.

The bulk of the people, according to some workers here, are from South America. They seem to be Argentinians, mostly Italian and some Spanish. And presumably the others are from the upper strata of society there, where being European seems to count highly. Only when they speak do I know if they're American or predominantly Spanish people from South American countries.

I Easily Orgasm But Not When My Boyfriend's There

Mon, 01/16/2012 - 14:06
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I'm 23 and I've been sexually active since 17 to my boyfriend at the time. It was never sex as I experience now and it soon became something we didn't do often. I have since had a few more relationships and a few sexual partners all to which I have experimented with and tried lots of new things but never been able to climax during oral or sex.. I can make myself come easy alone and fantasizing. But I've even tried doing it in front of a partner and I still couldn't. I felt close but just couldn't get over that bridge. It's embarrassing that I can't with a new partner who I am with now. He feels amazing and does all the right things but it just gets too intense and I make him stop. I don't like to bring it up but I want to cos I know he wants me to feel good.

Dear K,

Do Bigger Women Need Men With Bigger Packages?

Mon, 01/16/2012 - 14:05
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear betty

I assume that this type of questions must really get on your nerve, but I'll take my chances anyway, the reason I ask it is because every time some other guy asks this question women generally say that they prefer average size, but whenever I'm in the mood to watch porn I don't know if I'm not good at noticing facial expressions but I don't really see the women in pain while being penetrated by those big ones, in fact I think sometimes I see them wet or liking it, I prefer voluptuous women so most of the time that's what I look for in porn, could it be that bigger women need men with bigger packages ?

Feel free to answer with all honesty

I know I'm going to get a lot of " heat " for comparing porn and all that, ha, but I just needed to ask it and well I'll ask it.

Just Can't Get Through The Barrier to Orgasm

Mon, 01/16/2012 - 14:03
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I've never orgasmed through sex or through masturbation. I've not been very sexually active over the years, but this year I bought a vibrator and tried to use it to get to orgasm. However, I find that whenever I'm close it just gets too intense and I can't past this stage. I physically can't move past this.

I've just started a new relationship as well and during sex get very aroused and have also been quite close to orgasm, but come against the same barrier that I just can't continue. If you have any advice on how to push through this barrier or get over this it would change my life. I seem to have a high sex drive, but just can't reach the end!
Ever hopeful!

H from the UK

Dear H,

Did I Have An Orgasm?

Mon, 01/16/2012 - 14:02
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Betty,

I'm 15 and recently exploring myself. It took me a good two weeks until I started to feel some sort of orgasm coming on. I wanted to know if it was a full orgasm or not. I would massage my clit and then all of a sudden my area would get tense, it wasn't a really amazing feeling, it kinda felt like when you have a dead leg, but it wasn't as painful and more pleasurable. My back muscles started to pull down so my back was fully touching the bed, my breathing wasnt that heavy but it was starting to ellevate. I never got any vaginal muscle contractions though. I just wanted to know if maybe this was the start of an orgasm?

Dear L,