I just read the question and response from the guy whose girlfriend pushes him away when she's close to orgasm. I do the same thing with my boyfriend, but I think the reasoning is different. I've been with my current boyfriend since my late teens, and prior to dating him had only recently lost my virginity. At the beginning of our relationship he knew that I wasn't able to cum, but he became so frustrated eventually I just started faking it (I blame my youthful lack of judgment), figuring I could work it out on my own later. But now it's five years later, and I'm stuck with the same problem.
I know that everyone has different opinions about sex in this life and we all need to be happy. I think masturbation is fine when you're not in a relationship, so that you can learn about yourself and experience pleasure. I firmly believe against masturbation in a committed relationship and that you should please each other sexually. I am open to using sex toys on each other to keep things interesting and fun and am willing to try different techniques to attend to my partner's pleasure.
I am 21 years old and I believe my orgasms and sexual self-esteem have forever been tainted. When I was a young teen, about 14 or 15, I believe I was having orgasms voluntarily. I could sit a certain way and I would have great sensations and vaginal contractions. It felt good and I believed I was in the small minority of women who could have orgasms that easily.
I was enjoying myself by doing this whenever I wanted until I told one of my friends about it. I was 16 and still a virgin at the time, she was not, and as I explained it to her she assured me that what I was feeling was not an orgasm and that I'd know what a real orgasm is like after I had sex.
I have two problems :(
I'm 18 years old and I've only recently started getting sexually active. But I no longer want to bother with letting my partner go down on me anymore or rub my clit because I never get close to coming. I don't want to waste his time, but he is so desperate to get it right.
I am sixteen years old and never had an orgasm because I haven't started my period. I have only masturbated a few times because I didn't know if it was safe or not. Betty plz help
P.S. You're amazing
I am writing with a slight twist on a question you've answered several versions of (and received god knows how many times). I'm a 35 y.o. man, married 11 years, 2 young kids, love my wife. For years, I have wanted more sex and more varied sex than my wife. Our sex life has slowed even more since our kids were born. We are now having sex about three times a month. I'd like to have more sex and more passionate and adventurous sex.
I have talked with my wife about my desires. She has said she'll try, that she's maybe just not a very passionate person, and that maybe she's not very "good" at sex. We still have a sexual mismatch.
I am a man 37 years old, married for 13 years, but lately I have this desire to have a threesome with two girls. Is this normal? What should I do?
Yes, your desire for a threesome is quite normal. It's the favorite fantasy for most men. The first thing to do would be to discuss this with your wife. She might also be interested. If not, then you can always pay two sex professionals to act out your desire. Or simply keep it as your fantasy material for some hot masturbation.
I have not been able to orgasm since July 2010. I got pregnant and had a child. I figured by now I would be able to orgasm once again. I have tried everything, intercourse, masturbation with and without toys, and oral. Is there any way that I can change this reoccurring pattern of disappointment?
Since this has been going on for over a year, I suggest you give it a rest. Focus more on your new baby and stop trying to force an orgasm to happen. That will never work. I'm sure your orgasms are not gone forever but you might want to get a really good vibrator like the Mystic or Magic Wand. After you have a chance to get some sleep and rest, I'll bet your orgasms will re-appear.
Hi Dr. Betty,
First of all, your site has helped me feel a lot more comfortable with my sexuality, so thank you for that! I do however still have some hangups, and here is one. With my last sexual partner, I squirted while being penetrated. It did not happen every time we had sex and when it did it was the first time I'd ever ejaculated. Luckily, with that particular situation it didn't matter that it was fairly messy. I wonder though if I should warn the next guy I'm with that I may ejaculate? Should I say something beforehand, just for the sake of courtesy? It's not something I'm sure will happen every time I have intercourse, and I'm afraid it's something some guys may be scared of if they've never encountered it before. Any advice would be appreciated!
This might be a silly question, but I'm wondering if there are different "degrees" of an orgasm? Meaning, is there such thing as a little orgasm versus a huge orgasm?
I have been able to have strong orgasms ever since I was 8 or 9 years old. I would climb the poles at recess and experience awesome orgasms every time! I am now 17 years old and am able to achieve orgasm through humping pillows, blankets or just by squeezing my legs together.
How come I can give myself back to back orgasms while masturbating but yet I pull away from my partner when he tries pleasing me. It feels awesome but before I can orgasm I pull away or push myself away from him like it feels so good I cant handle it, can you help me?
When we pull away from some form of clitoral stimulation it can mean
1. You have already had a small orgasm and the clitoris needs to calm down for a few moments before continuing.
I am a crossdresser. My live-in wife is comfortable with it and loves to play along. Actually it was her idea in the beginning. It started with me having a high heel fetish. She suggested that I try them on I did and became hooked, I can walk decently in 5” spike heels. This led to nylons, garter belts waist cinchers and lingerie. I can not “pass” and do not try to. I just love the feeling of lingerie, nylons and of course high heels. My crossdressing is done at home with the exception of underdressing, wearing lingerie, nylons etc. under my regular clothes when we go out which is a real turn on for us. She claims that this is very common. My question is just how common is underdressing and how many women enjoy it?
Recently my fiancee's cousin has been giving us some crap about our sex life. He found out that I have never cum before and so he has been giving us a lot of crap. I can get my fiancee to cum no problem. however, when it comes to me thats a different story.
Ever since my first child was born I lost the interest in sex. I have always loved sex and my husband and I always had amazing sex before I had my daughter but now I just can't get into it. I used to love for him to suck my nipples now I can't stand it and when ever I cum I lose all interest in it. Please help! My daughter is already 3 and I have a 2 year old and a 2 month old, so we still have sex. But it's not the same.. it's ruining my marriage..