Betty Dodson's blog

He Has Herpes. I Do Not. Is Risk-Free Sex Possible?

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 08:36
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dr. Betty,

I hope you are in good spirits, as you're reading this.

I have met a potential sexual partner, who revealed to me on our first coffee date that he has herpes, and is on daily antivirals. This did not completely rule out us having sex, however, I am concerned about the rate of transmission. I've done my research, but would still like your opinion.

Do you believe having sex with an HSV suffer is too risky?

Thank you for your time,

Miss. Chief

Dear C,

Since a large portion of the population has Herpes (which I see much like the common cold) you are narrowing your field of possible lovers. I have Herpes outbreaks from time to time and lived with a sex partner for 10 years who never contacted the virus.

Get Erections But Can't Ejaculate

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 08:47
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I'm a healthy, straight 18-year-old boy who became (sporadically) sexually active this year. I had my cherry popped by a girl well-versed in the art of orgasm, but despite her best efforts I never felt much more than a light tickling sensation in my penis during our time together. The same has been true with one other partner--despite relaxing to the greatest possible extent, I haven't felt anything close to an orgasmic sensation or ejaculated.

A Victim of Foreskin Elitism

Sat, 03/17/2012 - 08:57
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I don't know if this is going to be a question or a complaint. I'm a 48 year old male, that feels he's becoming a victim of Foreskin Elitism. My parents are Jewish, and being the male child of Jewish parents, I had no choice in the matter of circumcision and I would have to say that in a way neither did they. Family was important and being Jewish was part of it.

Finding My Way Out of Sexual Repression

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 12:14
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Well, I'm really young (almost 17, actually.), and this is all extremely new to me. I've always been afraid to even look at my own vagina, much less even touch it. With help from a friend, I've managed to learn a lot more, and in turn become more comfortable enough to touch myself and start taking better care of my body.

A Day of Gratitude

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 07:58
Submitted by Betty Dodson
Secret Rapture by Andrew Gonzalez

Spring was definitely in the air. I planned to go to my water aerobics class and was feeling the usual resistance. Finally I got off the computer. As I was getting dressed, I noticed the time. The clocks had been turned forward an hour so I’d missed my class. “Ah ha!” I thought. “Now I can take this time to enjoy a Sunday orgasm.” For several minutes I watched oversized black cocks being stuffed inside all three orifices of a skinny blonde girl, sometimes two at a time. As soon as I felt the first throb of blood in my clitoris, I turned off the computer.

Attempting Suicide While Pregnant = Murder?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 13:19
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Katha Pollit writing for the Nation states: “On March 14, Bei Bei Shuai will have spent one full year in jail in Marion County, Indiana. Her crime? The prosecutor calls it attempted feticide and murder. What it really is: attempting suicide while pregnant.”

Searching for the Perfect Birth Control

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 08:46
Submitted by Betty Dodson


I have a question for you. My partner and I are trying to find a method of birth control that is perfect for both of us. I'm not interested in any type of hormonal contraceptives, or an IUD. I want something that leaves me in a natural state. We've been using condoms but both of us prefer skin to skin contact during intercourse. After hearing you talk so highly of the diaphragm we are considering this as our option. My only concern is the taste of the spermicide. I have heard awful things about the taste and numbness that it can create and I was wondering what your experience is with the use of spermicide in the diaphragm and oral sex. My partner and I both love oral sex and cutting that out is not an options. Thanks for your sharing you knowledge!

Dear T,

Have Anxiety About First Time Anal Play

Sun, 03/11/2012 - 17:28
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I have to tell you, I love your work! You're amazing. I'm writing to you because I've been struggling with myself lately. I'm 17 and my boyfriend really wants to try anal, none of us has ever done it before, but he thinks it will be amazing. I've always had some fear when it came to anal, but since he told me that if I don't feel pleasure he will stop immediately (and I know that I can trust him on that matter) and won't even be upset, I'm willing to try it. Yet, I'm afraid it will be painful for me and/or him. Do you have any piece of advice for me? Is it normal what I'm feeling?


Dear M,

How Do I Make The Cow Girl Work Better?

Sat, 03/10/2012 - 18:00
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

First of all, I was so excited when I found your website (i came across it when I was looking up the article 'myth of the vaginal orgasm' ) and I thank you for now I have vast amounts of evidence to use when I have sex talks with friends etc.

However, I need advice on making cow girl better. I have been with my boyfriend for years and every time I get on top he takes over from the bottom in a matter of minutes. I think my problem is that I can't get enough speed and am very slow. Also I don't even know if I'm doing the actual position right. For example, is it an up-down motion or forward backwards motion? I would really like to be able to get him off while I'm in control but so far it hasn't happened.

Dear L,

Ralph Nader: How I Square "Uncle Tom"

Sat, 03/10/2012 - 17:49
Submitted by Betty Dodson

This clip with Ralph Nader was very helpful since I've been called out for making a racist joke. The younger generation responds to individual words dealing with racial, feminist or gender slurs.

Not the problem the word represents. Ralph is brilliant in his response to the student complaining about his "Uncle Tom" comment directed at Obama. I love Ralph's passion! And he lays out the history without missing a beat:

Betty, Will You Please Stop Referring To Yourself as Old!

Thu, 03/08/2012 - 10:45
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,
Will you PLEASE do me favor, and stop referring to yourself as old? If I had to describe Betty Dodson, here are some adjectives I might use: beautiful, intelligent, vibrant, revolutionary, sexy, wise. But old? Oh hell no! If age is a state of mind, then you are as young as they come. Ageism is just as evil as sexism, racism or any other -ism. Free your mind and your ass will follow!
Your fan, C

Dear Insightful fan, C,

Making a Journal on Our Sexlives

Wed, 03/07/2012 - 09:27
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I have an idea, and want to get your input. My boyfriend and I are middle aged professionals separated by great distance. We get together every few months and have fantastic sex. We’re open to new adventures and opportunities to increase our pleasure. We communicate very openly about what we want to do, what we like and don’t like, and what we want to do differently. However, sometimes we just plain can’t remember. I was thinking…. that we ought to start keeping a journal of our sexcapades, in the interest of processing improvement. I see lots of possibilities for making our communication even more open, helping us keep track of what we did, what we liked and what we want to try next.

How Can I Get My Confidence Back After His Infidelity?

Mon, 03/05/2012 - 09:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

My husband & I have been together 20 years. My husband had only been with 5 partners before marriage, and I lost count at about 40. Honesty was always my first priority, and I made that exceedingly clear. I encouraged my husband to let me know if he was attracted to someone and that maybe we could work some fun sex out, I'm bisexual.

I introduced him to a few sex parties and brought a couple of girlfriends home for threesomes, but it was all very tame. I wanted him to be able to express himself sexually in a way he hadn't been able to with his past lovers, and was encouraging him to be more open sexually. I wanted him to have good sexual experiences within our agreed boundaries. The agreement was to be honest, that was the main agreement.

Disillusioned But Determined to Hold My Own Bodysex Group

Sun, 03/04/2012 - 11:16
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

Marion here- i had a session with you in january (from australia) well- well- as my subject title suggests i'm feeling quite despondent re the overall response from my women friends to starting a group.

My plan is to show your bodysex dvd in two parts over two meetings followed by (clothed) sharing. I sent an email to about 15 of my closest female friends and women whom i felt would be open to exploring/discussing their personal experiences/feelings re sexuality and masturbation in particular.