Betty Dodson's blog

How Do I Have a Fulfulling Sex Life with a Paraplegic

Sun, 03/25/2012 - 08:17
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty

Hope your well.

Please can you help me. I am 40yrs old, dating a paraplegic man aged 53. He depends on a wheelchair and his very strong arms. He is paralysed from the below the nipples down. I have searched your site for help but the stuff was not specific enough. I guess because disabilities are so variable and people have such specific needs.

I want to know how to have a fulfilling sex life with this man. I am turned on by his mind/thoughts/ideas/spirit but not his body. He has managed one partial erection in 6 months of sexplay. I am frustrated by the lack of erection. He uses an hitachi to have an ejaculation, but its so rapid, I just don't find it arousing.

How Do I Move From Sexual Abuse to Sexual Relationship?

Sat, 03/24/2012 - 08:54
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty!
Well, I would consider myself a very sexual person. I like it and I want to experience everything I can. I have one problem though. I was raped from the ages of 2 to 6 and again by someone else at age 8. It hasn't "ruined me" technically, but I feel like that sometimes. Now I'm an adult, 19 years old, and I want to connect sexually with others. I desperately do. I just can't seem to. When I try that, I go somewhere else in my head. What do you suggest I do? Wait until I find someone I can completely trust? I enjoy phone sex and masturbation but any further than that and my mind leaves me hanging. Help.

Dear T,

My Boyfriend is NOT Good at Oral Sex

Fri, 03/23/2012 - 07:54
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I have a very loving and attentive boyfriend who has just one unfortunate flaw...oral sex. He gives it the old college try but, he is not very good at it. While I applaud his effort unfortunately my clit is not pleased. I have tried my best to guide him but, it does not work. He feels terrible about it and I try my best to console him.

Is there anything that I can refer him to help him adopt a better technique?

Dear M,

Is Zoophilia Normal?

Thu, 03/22/2012 - 08:49
Submitted by Betty Dodson

My gf likes to have sex with her dog. Is it normal? Is is harmful for me? How can I prevent her from it?

Dear U,

While it's true that having sex with one's dog is much more common than most would expect, it's still a big taboo. Bestiality is a big "No No" in America. However there are many different ways to have sex with one's dog. The most common is simply licking. Vaginal or anal penetration is next. There are porn sites that feature sex with animals. . . Zoophilia. Also check out this link from Google that went into details about possible risks.

It Took Me 77 Years to Find Her

Wed, 03/21/2012 - 08:32
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I just got this email that Carlin sent to all the women in our Bodysex documentary. It's a perfect example of how fortunate I am to have the kind of real caring quality she brings to D&R:

"We're working on the second film and today I watched your interviews. I'm so fucking proud of all of you. Looking back on the project, I was afraid that we missed some critical points - no, my women were right there. You were all amazing.

Sheila - oh my god, you are so beautiful on camera. Hearing you talk about meeting Betty...not having any sex ed...wanting to be thinner as a young girl just touched me. And then you brought it back to Grant which was so important.

He Has Herpes. I Do Not. Is Risk-Free Sex Possible?

Tue, 03/20/2012 - 08:36
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dr. Betty,

I hope you are in good spirits, as you're reading this.

I have met a potential sexual partner, who revealed to me on our first coffee date that he has herpes, and is on daily antivirals. This did not completely rule out us having sex, however, I am concerned about the rate of transmission. I've done my research, but would still like your opinion.

Do you believe having sex with an HSV suffer is too risky?

Thank you for your time,

Miss. Chief

Dear C,

Since a large portion of the population has Herpes (which I see much like the common cold) you are narrowing your field of possible lovers. I have Herpes outbreaks from time to time and lived with a sex partner for 10 years who never contacted the virus.

Get Erections But Can't Ejaculate

Sun, 03/18/2012 - 08:47
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I'm a healthy, straight 18-year-old boy who became (sporadically) sexually active this year. I had my cherry popped by a girl well-versed in the art of orgasm, but despite her best efforts I never felt much more than a light tickling sensation in my penis during our time together. The same has been true with one other partner--despite relaxing to the greatest possible extent, I haven't felt anything close to an orgasmic sensation or ejaculated.

A Victim of Foreskin Elitism

Sat, 03/17/2012 - 08:57
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I don't know if this is going to be a question or a complaint. I'm a 48 year old male, that feels he's becoming a victim of Foreskin Elitism. My parents are Jewish, and being the male child of Jewish parents, I had no choice in the matter of circumcision and I would have to say that in a way neither did they. Family was important and being Jewish was part of it.

Finding My Way Out of Sexual Repression

Fri, 03/16/2012 - 12:14
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Well, I'm really young (almost 17, actually.), and this is all extremely new to me. I've always been afraid to even look at my own vagina, much less even touch it. With help from a friend, I've managed to learn a lot more, and in turn become more comfortable enough to touch myself and start taking better care of my body.

A Day of Gratitude

Thu, 03/15/2012 - 07:58
Submitted by Betty Dodson
Secret Rapture by Andrew Gonzalez

Spring was definitely in the air. I planned to go to my water aerobics class and was feeling the usual resistance. Finally I got off the computer. As I was getting dressed, I noticed the time. The clocks had been turned forward an hour so I’d missed my class. “Ah ha!” I thought. “Now I can take this time to enjoy a Sunday orgasm.” For several minutes I watched oversized black cocks being stuffed inside all three orifices of a skinny blonde girl, sometimes two at a time. As soon as I felt the first throb of blood in my clitoris, I turned off the computer.

Attempting Suicide While Pregnant = Murder?

Wed, 03/14/2012 - 13:19
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Katha Pollit writing for the Nation states: “On March 14, Bei Bei Shuai will have spent one full year in jail in Marion County, Indiana. Her crime? The prosecutor calls it attempted feticide and murder. What it really is: attempting suicide while pregnant.”

Searching for the Perfect Birth Control

Tue, 03/13/2012 - 08:46
Submitted by Betty Dodson


I have a question for you. My partner and I are trying to find a method of birth control that is perfect for both of us. I'm not interested in any type of hormonal contraceptives, or an IUD. I want something that leaves me in a natural state. We've been using condoms but both of us prefer skin to skin contact during intercourse. After hearing you talk so highly of the diaphragm we are considering this as our option. My only concern is the taste of the spermicide. I have heard awful things about the taste and numbness that it can create and I was wondering what your experience is with the use of spermicide in the diaphragm and oral sex. My partner and I both love oral sex and cutting that out is not an options. Thanks for your sharing you knowledge!

Dear T,

Have Anxiety About First Time Anal Play

Sun, 03/11/2012 - 17:28
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I have to tell you, I love your work! You're amazing. I'm writing to you because I've been struggling with myself lately. I'm 17 and my boyfriend really wants to try anal, none of us has ever done it before, but he thinks it will be amazing. I've always had some fear when it came to anal, but since he told me that if I don't feel pleasure he will stop immediately (and I know that I can trust him on that matter) and won't even be upset, I'm willing to try it. Yet, I'm afraid it will be painful for me and/or him. Do you have any piece of advice for me? Is it normal what I'm feeling?


Dear M,

How Do I Make The Cow Girl Work Better?

Sat, 03/10/2012 - 18:00
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

First of all, I was so excited when I found your website (i came across it when I was looking up the article 'myth of the vaginal orgasm' ) and I thank you for now I have vast amounts of evidence to use when I have sex talks with friends etc.

However, I need advice on making cow girl better. I have been with my boyfriend for years and every time I get on top he takes over from the bottom in a matter of minutes. I think my problem is that I can't get enough speed and am very slow. Also I don't even know if I'm doing the actual position right. For example, is it an up-down motion or forward backwards motion? I would really like to be able to get him off while I'm in control but so far it hasn't happened.

Dear L,

Ralph Nader: How I Square "Uncle Tom"

Sat, 03/10/2012 - 17:49
Submitted by Betty Dodson

This clip with Ralph Nader was very helpful since I've been called out for making a racist joke. The younger generation responds to individual words dealing with racial, feminist or gender slurs.

Not the problem the word represents. Ralph is brilliant in his response to the student complaining about his "Uncle Tom" comment directed at Obama. I love Ralph's passion! And he lays out the history without missing a beat: