I am 55 and enjoy sex very much. I can only imagine how much more I would love it if only I could orgasm - to date I have never (and I mean never) had one. The more info and sharing that goes on out there the more I've come to realize that I've never climaxed. I'm very sad to think I've missed out on such a beautiful experience, convinced that I'm simply made differently.
Dear Dr. Betty,
I am a twenty year old female and have been having sex with my boyfriend for about eight months. I can't seem to reach orgasm from manual stimulation by myself or with him. I even bought a vibrator and used it hoping to experience the big "O." I can feel myself getting close (or what I think is close) but it is like a tickling sensation and I have to stop before I feel any kind of release. I usually get sore for a couple days after I masturbate or after my boyfriend stimulates me. I've tried everything I can think of to orgasm but I just can't get myself to do it! I don't feel l womanly because I cannot orgasm. Help me, please!
Hey girls, I just wanted to say thanks and tell yall my story.
One thing that I remember very vividly as a young child, was a spanking I received from my dad. It was naptime and instead of taking a nap, I was touching myself. (This part is pretty funny. If you have ever watched Pocahontas, I was fantasizing about her love interest in the movie. I think his name is John or something like that. I can't believe I still remember that part haha).
My boyfriend is a very sexual person, however he has ADHD and is on medication. When we try to have sex 70% of the time he can't get it up. However, even with a soft penis he can get off. I absolutely love having sex and this issue is beginning to drive a wedge between us. He thinks it is ok to have a soft penis and for me it is a turn off since I can't stimulate him enough to get hard. I am finding myself to be less satisfied with him in bed and the idea of dealing with his soft penis almost makes me gag.
Please help me, any advice is appreciated. Is there any way to look past the soft dick?
I don't feel any desire or need to shave/wax/etc my pubic hair and I don't always shave my legs either. A lot of men and women seem to think this is normal and a must. What are your opinions? Why do people hate hair?
I don't think people hate hair but we do go through phases of hair fashion that you can't count on changing. Remember our beloved hippies in the sixties and early seventies? We were all hair back then and women did not shave their legs or arm pits, me included. It's good to remember that fashion is very fickle and what's hot today will be gone tomorrow.
Dear Dr. Betty,
I am an undergraduate student currently preparing for a master's degree in gender studies-so definitely interested in contemporary feminist theory. However, there is an attitude which I find disturbing/fail to understand among certain groups/individuals who identify as "feminist".
I'm thinking-for example, a guest post on Kate Harding's blog basically stating that every man must be seen by women as a potential sexual abuser; quote from the article:
I've been on your site for over a year now. I love reading the articles. I love buying your stuff. I'm 25 years old and I'm still trying to figure things out. I've written you before, but I have to admit I've never really talked about what I really wanted to. I haven't been very honest with myself.
Okay here goes. I've never been a relationship person, but I'm a closet hopeful relationship wisher person. Hehe. I know that was very elegant, but its me. I guess I'm afraid to try. Things haven't gone very well for me in the past. (My first major relationship was with a married man, but that story is too long and too off topic.) I've always pretended I didn't want a relationship mostly because I felt like I couldn't get one. If that makes sense.
I want to become a sexologist however i am not sure how to go about it. how did u become a sexologist? what schools did u go to and what did u study?
As far as I know, the only undergrad program in sexology is at the University of Quebec. The University of Minnesota has an excellent program and offers advanced degrees. For educational opportunities, check out Quad S, the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality: http://www.sexscience.org/resources/index.php?category_id=492
Why is it so very difficult to get my partner's dick back hard after he has his 1st orgasm? I have tried many things, but nothing seems to work so I just give up and say better luck next time . . .
It's best to accept him just the way he is instead of getting more frustrated by trying to change him. He may have a physical problem with blood flow, lack of interest in more sex or it's just his normal refractory period. If you brought a hot chick into the bedroom after he came, chances are he'd get another hard on. But maybe not. Why don't you just continue having sex with yourself if you're still turned. Happily using a dildo and a vibrator might even get him interested again.
I've been married for 10 years, my husband has tried oral and manual stimulation, but I've never been able to orgasm. I have either a very small, or non-existant clitoral gland, so is there any hope? If there is nothing there to stimulate - how can I orgasm. The only good stimulation I've received is through fairly intense water jet power. Any suggestions are welcome.
I have been with my boyfriend M for 3 and a half years. Recently, he told me he has been fantasizing about having sex with me and other men. We both decided that this sounded exciting. I was just wondering if you have any advice for my first time? I think im okay with anal, vaginal, and double penetration. I need to know how to properly prepare for anal sex, to prevent any embarrassing situations. Also, we were thinking of recruiting M friends for the extra partners...do you think this is a good idea?
I'm having trouble keeping a good rhythm with my boyfriend while we are having sex. He will be going at a good pace and I'm getting into it and then all of a sudden he will go really fast and then later suddenly change to penetrating really slow. It's just all over the place and starts to turn me off after awhile. I've tried talking to him about it, but nothing has changed. Do you have any advice for another way of trying to explain it to him or anything I can do?
Hi Dr. Betty,
I've been a huge follower of yours ever since I snuck onto your website in high school and learned about the true joy that was mindful masturbation. I'm a big wanker, I masturbate frequently and up until two months ago I was a virgin. I'm a 21 , healthy, red blooded american male but I can't seem to achieve or orgasm through regular intercourse. I have no trouble through oral sex (my gf is FANTASTIC btw) and I definitely have no trouble getting myself off, yet as soon as that condom slips on its all fucking no cumming. What can i do differently to get off during sex?
Have I conditioned myself to only cum through masturbation and masturbation-esque techniques? Please help!
I just signed up to fast with other MoveOn.org members on Saturday to protest the brutal and unjust budget cuts being debated in Washington. When Congress can seriously debate forcing veterans into homelessness and cutting food aid to pregnant women and children, while giving tax breaks to billionaires, something is very, very wrong.
Just watch the senator from Indiana who looks likes like a puffy over-stuffed pig state why women will fake rape to get an abortion. Quite unbelievable but there it is before our very eyes: