Dear Dr. Betty,
I recently bought and read your book: "Sex for One" and I loved it and I am practicing masturbation on a regular basis. I had written you before, I had a lot of sexual issues to the fact that I was raped when I was 6 years old and one of my other issues was an overly-invasive narcissistic mother. When I was a child, she caught me masturbating and made me feel terrible about it, she tried to "catch" me all of the time and made it impossible for me to achieve orgasm. I was having orgasms until the age of 19, until we had to share a bedroom in a small apartment due to money problems and she kept trying to "catch" me in the shower, while I slept in the living room, etc.
I am 17 and my boyfriend is 18. We have been going out for about 9 months now, but we haven't done that much sexually. But recently we have gotten to being in our undies and kissing and him petting me over the underwear. It feels really good and he seems to quite enjoy doing this. I feel kinda bad because he is trying to do things to me but I'm too nervous to do things back and I don't really know what I can do back and he is always asking if there is anything I want to try (not sure if he means back to him or for him to do to me or both) but I don't know because I've never done any of this sort of sexual thing before.
I am a 20 year old female and for the last 4 months my interest or sex drive has jumped ship and I don't know what to do to get it back. I have tried masturbating, using my vibrator and even just trying to have sex with my very supportive longtime boyfriend, but nothing seems to work. I don't get horny or even excited when my boyfriend suggests having some fun. I used to be the most sexual person in my group of friends and now it feels like I have zero sexual energy. How can I go back to enjoying sex?
Wish me luck as I continue to try,
My question to u is. My girlfriend is letting me put my finger in her anal and she tells me that it makes her climax alot harder. Now she is telling me that she wants to try anal beads but for some reason she won't let me penetrate her anal. I don't understand why not. Can u give me some help on making her relax or some anal play that will drive her crazy and over the top. I have also told her I want to get a penis pump and she said go ahead. Do they really work or are they a joke?
When it comes to anal sex, a couple needs to talk things over. Don't try and read her mind. Just come out and ask her what you just asked me. Maybe your dick is too big or you are a hard fuck, or she doesn't trust you enough to relax. Have a conversation.
Ralph Nader toured Freedom Plaza this week and shared his views on the evolving "Occupy Washington" process.
Yea Ralph Nader! You bet "They" are beginning to sweat!
Dear Dr. Betty,
I was looking up things on youtube and I ran into you and Dodson. I have to say, I became very intrigued and wanted to check out your website. I need help, I am in a new relationship with a wonderful man! Romantic, loving, caring, an all around great person. When he touches me, just traces his hand down my chest ever so slightly, I get wet, soaked. His kisses do the same thing! He is extremely knowledgeable. But when it comes to actually playing with me, whether he decides to keep touching me, lick me, finger me... I have a very hard time having an orgasm. I have had them, but not that many. He is afraid that he is no good, and that maybe he can't satisfy me. I've told him though, it's not you, it's me. And it is.
Good day to you Betty!
First things first I want to apologize for asking a potentially useless batch of questions, but I couldn't seem to find the answers to them while searching around your site. You see, I am seventeen years old, and have just recently given up my virginity to the love of my life. I've given her multiple orgasms through both hand and oral stimulation over the course of our dating, but she feels inadequate because she has only given me a single orgasm (the day I lost my virginity) (and that was after around a two day period of screwing, and I ended up having to stimulate my own clit in order to come).
"You're time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living the life of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
This is the artist's way....how I've lived my life for 83 years.
I am young. I've never had sex, or given a hand/blow job or anything. The farthest I've gone is made out. And, I am curious how to make myself seem available to the boys around me. How should I go about showing them that I'm not a prude little girl? But, I don't want to be seen as a whore. I just want to show men that I am willing to preform sex acts.
You can't imagine how thrilling it was for me that #occupywallstreet is spreading city by city - if this is happening in my hometown of Wichita, the revolution is a done deal!
Wichita is often used by PR firms to test the market for products as the essence of the heartland of America, like lots of religion and down home values.
The 99% now have a voice in Wichita!
I'm on my way to Wichita to visit my brother Dick and his wife Barbara in Fall River, Kansas, (a wide place in the road) about an hour and a half outside Wichita. They live on a mile acre of land in a very special house that my baby brother built. I'll be coming from Houston TX after receiving an award from Quad S November 4th. More details to follow.
Today I read a recent post by Dan Savage entitled "Broken".
The question begins with: "I am a 23-year-old female, sexually active for seven years, and I can’t reach climax. I am extremely frustrated..."
Dan Savage quotes Tracy Clark-Flory who discusses the evolutionary 'by-product theory'. According to this theory, "the female orgasm is an evolutionary hand-me-down—or, more cynically, lukewarm leftovers".
I was wondering what you thought of this Dan Savage column and the 'by-product' theory.
Dear Dr. Betty,
I'm a 25yr old single male. I've been single for 2yrs now, and have not had sex in those 2yrs. It hasn't been easy. I've had the opportunity to have a few one night stands but I haven't gone through with it. That's just not my thing and I'd prefer it to be with someone that I'm in a relationship with.
Long story short, self-pleasure has been my only release. I do this 3-4 times a week on average. Sometimes I masturbate on a daily basis. Lately I've been wondering if this is a bad thing. When I do meet someone and become intimate with them, will I be so used to masturbating that I ejaculate quickly? I feel like I've set myself up for embarrassment and that I should lay off masturbating for a while now. Any advice?
I have just made the recent horrific discovery that my mouth is really small...I'm concerned that I won't actually be able to fit a penis in my mouth for blowjobs. Help?!
If that's the worst problem you ever encounter, you can still have a great sexlife! I'd be more concerned about receiving good oralsex than giving it. If you hold a man's penis with your hand covered with lube and use your tongue to tease his glans, few men will ever complain. Meanwhile nothing wrong with opening and stretching your mouth including exercising your tongue muscle. I'll bet there is a book somewhere that goes into details about this. "Google that shit" as we say around the office here at D&R.