Betty Dodson's blog

I Want More Than One Orgasm During Sex

Tue, 02/28/2012 - 09:37
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I've written to you a couple of times over the past few years. I doubt you'd remember, as you're a very busy lady, but real quick... I had my first orgasm w/ the magic wand about seven years ago, enjoyed many orgasms from that wonderful device but was determined to learn to come w/o a vibe, progressed to coming from the shower heard, then to while watching porn, then to my partner's fingers inside and mine on my clit, to finally enjoying orgasms induced by oral stimulation or my partner's hands in (sometimes) less than twenty minutes. I am quite happy with the progress I've made and have very much enjoyed the journey.

The Roman Coliseum Has Nothing on Us

Tue, 02/28/2012 - 08:47
Submitted by Betty Dodson

For the most part, I rarely watch Hollywood’s Oscar award night. I know it’s mostly about politics rather than skill, talent or art. Hollywood is and always has been a dynasty. When I came across an article in Truth Out titled: “Anti-War Critics Forgotten on Oscar Night" by Adam Hochschild, I started reading:

“Well in advance of the 2014 centennial of the beginning of “the war to end all wars,” the First World War is suddenly everywhere in our lives. Stephen Spielberg’s War Horse opened on 2,376 movie screens and has collected six Oscar nominations, while the hugely successful play it’s based on is still packing in the crowds in New York and a second production is being readied to tour the country.”

The Global Issue of Sexually Repressed Women

Mon, 02/27/2012 - 08:54
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hey Betty

I have recently been working in Asia and exploring myself sexually here. In many cultures, there is the expectation that a women is a virgin when she gets married. It's expected that a woman is a virgin, but men can use prostitutes. I have had a lover here, and he has been pretty open to learning new things but clearly was very unexperienced.

I thought western society was repressed because of the emphasis on sex for procreation, but perhaps it is women all over the world that are sexually repressed and even more so than us in the west. Yet women here do not complain but they also do not masturbate or talk about it. Western culture seems very individualist but here it is collective, but individualism creates sexual empowerment verses just fulfilling a family role.

Can You Read Too Much About Sex?

Sat, 02/25/2012 - 16:22
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty and Carlin!

You guys are awesome! And I have to thank you for guiding me to a better self-confidence and of course, great orgasms. Your posts about feminism, orgasms, body and sex in general has made me feel better about myself and I’ve become less ashamed of my body. So thank you – so much!

How to Set up a Bodysex Workshop

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 16:07
Submitted by Betty Dodson

The wisdom of Consciousness Raising Groups began with 70’s feminism. It was based on the concept that, “The personal is political.”

When women talk about our personal lives, we are describing the political system we live in. We are not isolated cases of misfortune, but victims of a male dominated authoritarian system determined to control our bodies and our sexuality. The CR solution was simple: By sharing the truth about our lives, we could find solutions through our collective efforts to change ourselves.

How to Become a Slut at 40?

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 08:00
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dearest Betty,

I asked a friend to bring me your book because she is coming from USA, but she told me that it seems that is only available as an e-book, where can she find it as a paper book? is it available like that?

I have been reading a lot of interesting post in your site the last days, and I'm really surprise because many woman write you from all USA, from Europe, they tell you all the things I think too, so living in a 3th. world country, or in Denmak, or in USA is the same thing for some women, we all have the same problems and worries about sex, incredible!!! I can't believe that, I have always complained for living here!

Can't Orgasm During Masturbation Only During Sex

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 08:49
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

Your website has helped me so much over the past few years, along with some other reading and research. I overcame sexual shame and inhibitions and I was able to have my first orgasm last year with a new partner who I could relax and be open with. But I know how much emphasis you put on the importance of masturbation, and I can still only orgasm with my partner through penetration and clitoral stimulation or just through dry sex (rubbing myself against him). This is great, and really gratifying for him, but I really want to take total control of my own orgasm.

My Project -The After Dinner Party - is Dedicated to Female Anatomy

Wed, 02/22/2012 - 09:27
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty and Carlin,

I am writing to tell you of my project as your work played a part in its creation. Betty, your drawings are beautiful!

I am also an artist, primarily figurative, as well as a long time activist on a variety of issues, mainly child sexual abuse, human experimentation, and the sequelae of trauma. Just over a month ago, I read a blog about the work of Australian urologist Dr. Helen O'Connell on the internal clitoris. This information was all new to me and so I began to further research the story, which led me to your work of course. After speaking with several female friends, I discovered that it was news to them as well. I was disturbed that this organ had been disappeared from medical and common knowledge, so my project was born.

Here is a description.

How Do I Support His Desires & Maintain My Boundaries?

Tue, 02/21/2012 - 09:48
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

My boyfriend and I live together. He is open that he masturbates to pornography regularly, often after I leave for work in the morning. I understand this as healthy, but I sometimes feel uncomfortable about it, since I feel that it influences the way we have sex, and how he views women---he often wants to come on me, or asks me to "do something" he's seen in a porn, often something humiliating to me. It makes me uncomfortable, but I try to be supportive of his desires, while maintaining my boundaries. However, things recently went too far.

Masturbate Since Childhood but No Notable Buildup/Orgasm Evident

Mon, 02/20/2012 - 10:27
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I was very hesitant about sending this for a long time as I see countless inquiries you get that all seem to be on the subject of "I don't have a very strong or very evident orgasm". The main thread I see through these is most of the women asking did not masturbate through their childhood.

I read many articles in which women who masturbated as children talk about their childhood orgasms - in fact the main point in most discussion seems to be about the orgasm - our orgasms, improving them and so on.

Why is it so Hard to Orgasm During Partnersex?

Sun, 02/19/2012 - 09:23
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hey Betty.

I want to start off by saying that I really love your site. It has taught me so much about myself and made me feel..more normal.

Here's my question though. I am a 24 year old female. Not long ago I got into an exclusive no commitment relationship with this guy. He is my first. I started masturbating when I was 6 or 7. I didnt know back then what I was doing, just that it felt good. Knowingly I have been masturbating since I was 12, using my fingers, vibrating stuff and other thing things that I found useful. To this day I have no problem having an orgasm by masturbating (alone).

"Her Entire Life was a Process of Cutting Away the Dense Cultural Thickets that Defined Women’s Sexual Roles"

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 10:26
Submitted by Betty Dodson
photo: Betty Dodson

I received this fabulous review of my memoir from a friend I’ve known since the seventies, Beck Peacock and his wife Carol and a lot of other folks had a Sex Conference in BC, Canada. My side-kick was Rae Larsen who heads up SISTER (Seattle Institute for Sex Education and Research.) As I read Beck’s review, I had a case of goose bumps:

“Betty Dodson’s My Romanic Love Wars" is a rare memoir, the most unflinching account of a person’s sexual history since My Life and Loves by Frank Harris, published ninety years ago. But this time it’s a woman writing and, oh, the difference.

Starting Up a Bodysex Group in the Seattle or Portland Area

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 10:20
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty and Carlin,

There is interest brewing to have a Bodysex group in the Seattle or Portland area. You can see the comment thread in the "New Members" section, under the thread "New here, Question about Bodysex". So far, there seem to be 4 women interested. My question for now is, how can we securely exchange our contact information for organizing this? It would be great if we could somehow get each other's email addresses without posting them for all to see. I would hope nobody would try to crash someone else's Bodysex group, but you never know. Mr. "penis99" just might give it a try.

Later, we might have some questions for you two about how to lead it. We are hoping to use the new DVD for guidance.

Mozart's Sister

Thu, 02/16/2012 - 16:25
Submitted by Betty Dodson

One of the movies that has inspired me to barrel ass ahead with sex information for women is Mozart's Sister.  I had no idea that Mozart had an older sister named Nannerl.

She was a music prodigy just like her brother who played for all the European courts. In the end of a three year music tour, she met Louis XV's son in Versailles who encouraged her to write music. But Nannerl was a girl and a girls were not permitted to compose.

She died blind and penniless. I may be wrong but I believe helping women discover their own orgasms will allow us to end this double standard.