Betty Dodson's blog

How Long Should I Wait to Use My Hitachi After Hysterectomy?

Tue, 02/22/2011 - 09:16
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I had a hysterectomy 2 weeks ago. It was a total because of pre-cancer cells.

My question is when is ok to begin using my wand again? I have no sexual desire at this time but am very nervous about how I will feel when I do have sex with my husband. Can you give me any insight. I've looked through the web and have not found anything specific or good. I am 54 years old and probably 6 months before the hysterectomy I introduced my wand into our sex play. It made a huge difference in our life and I had orgasms for the first time with my husband.

Dear S,

I Experience Back Pain When I Masturbate

Tue, 02/22/2011 - 09:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty-

I'm 25 and over the years I've tried masturbating several times, but have never been able to do it for very long (or orgasm for that matter.) Once I start manual stimulation I get a weird uncomfortable feeling in my lower back. It's almost like an intense tickle mixed with a shooting pain. I have never gotten that "feels good feeling" people say they've felt when masturbating.

I've tried varying the speed/pressure/you name it but I can only do it for a matter of minutes (if that) before it becomes extremely uncomfortable and I have to stop. Is this normal? Is my clit just hyper sensitive and I somehow need to work through it?

Me, and my clit, thank you for the help!

Dear L,

Am I Having Orgasms?

Mon, 02/21/2011 - 09:20
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

Just before I ask my question I want to say how super awesome this website is!! I came across it when I was writing an essay for uni about sex and religion and followed some links to this site and I'm soo glad I did!! You guys are so inspiring and liberating :)

I've been reading a few of the posts on this page and it seems a few of them apply to me. I'm 20 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 5 months. At the moment its more about me giving pleasure to him because I enjoy it more. When he stimulates me with fingers or tongue I make him stop because I feel embarrassed about not feeling anything or I can tell its going to go nowhere.

Can Orgasm Alone But Not With My Man

Mon, 02/21/2011 - 09:15
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I am recently divorced and my girlfriend is also recently divorced from a 20 abusive (physical and Mental) marriage. our physical interactions are very intense. my girlfriend can achieve orgasm by herself but when she is with me she gets right to the threshold of orgasm but then pulls away. she has told me that this has happened her entire life.

I comfort her and let her know I am there for her and that we will work thru this and we will succeed. she gets extremely dispondent because of this and then beats herself up over it. she says she feels silly, embarassed, humilliated. what more can I do to reinforce to her that it will be alright and that it will get better . suggestions on how to assist her to achieve her desire to orgasm between us.

Dear L,

Lube, Itchiness & Boyfriend Cheating Has Killed My Sex Drive

Mon, 02/21/2011 - 09:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I'm only 26 and I no longer feel the need, urge, or desire for any kind of sexual interaction. It has been three months now and I haven't masturbated once. I only have had sex five times, when before there was months that I would have sex everyday. I'm sort of seeing someone steady but it isn't serious. In that time I had bacterial vaginosis, a yeast infection, and cervicitis.

Did I Orgasm?

Mon, 02/21/2011 - 09:08
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dr. Dodson,

I am 19 years old and have just begun masturbating about a month ago. Your website with tips on how to masturbate for the first time have proved invaluable to me. I am so much more comfortable with myself and my sexuality than I ever was. I love my body and my vulva (especially my clitoris!!!)

I Can't Satisfy My Girlfriend

Mon, 02/21/2011 - 09:06
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr Betty,

I don't know how to completely satisfy my girlfriend as she only seems to get close to an orgasm through clitoral stimulation (Masturbation). The problem is that every time I try to get her to have a full orgasm, she seems to have multiple orgasms of increased intensity each time until she starts screaming of pleasure but then asks me to stop because she says that what she is feeling is just too intense and that she cant stand that intensity any longer, but if i keep touching her she keeps feeling more and more without completely coming (or getting to climax). She even says she still has desire for more sex.

Survived Breast Cancer - Had Hysterectomy - Sex is Painful. HELP

Fri, 02/18/2011 - 17:19
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I am a 65 year old breast cancer survivor. My breast cancer has been removed and I have taken 6 weeks of radiation. I have also had a hysterectomy in 1997 due to fibroids. For the last 8 months I have had constant bladder infections, yeast infections, bacterial infections and just last month my bartholin gland was swollen and finally blew up!

As you can well imagine, my husband and I are having trouble with painful sex and now I have no desire to have sex because every time we do, something happens like another infection. I am using the following products: Rephresh, Replens, Astro Glide, Cystex, and femdophilus. My cancer was estrogen fed, so I can not use any estrogen therapy. Can you give us any suggestions of where to go from here?

Dear P,

The Future of Food - Privatizing the Food Supply

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 17:44
Submitted by Betty Dodson

In its latest of many articles on the increasing threat of Monsanto to world agricultural production, Truthout once again points out that the multinational corporation is in the process of privatizing much of our food supply through the patenting and aggressive marketing of genetically engineered (GE) seeds and crops.

Like to Engage in Manual Sex with Men - Am I Still Heterosexual?

Thu, 02/17/2011 - 17:38
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dr. Betty,

I'm a recent college grad and took up a job as helper on a long-haul truck to make ends meet until I can find better work in this economy. On my first trip, I was totally taken off guard by constant erections and I was very embarrassed. Loose, thin sweatpants are comfortable but awful at hiding an erection...especially since I didn't wear underware.

Tired of Tensing My Legs Down & Straight to Orgasm

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 09:50
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I really need your help. I'm 18 and have been masturbating since I was about 13. I've always had really open parents and only had a bit of sexual guilt but got past that once i realised it was ok to enjoy the feelings my Vagina gave me. However I learned to bring myself to orgasm with my legs straight down and tensed. I never did it any other way but now im am finding it hard to orgasm during partner sex because I can get into the position I need to be in and also im embarressed to let a man see me in this weird position etc.

Has There Been Any Research to Show Pain & Discomfort are Minimized After Labiaplasty?

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 09:47
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I'm a 29 year old who has long struggled with my inner labia lips not only for their appearance but for the pain I feel. Sitting for long periods of time, wearing tight clothing, working out as well as other activities are sometimes hard and are very painful for me to accomplish. As I try to become more aware of my sexuality, the look of my labia minor does not bother me as much as it once did. I have your site and self-exploration to thank for that.

Wife Never Had an Orgasm & Doesn't Like Her Clitoris Touched

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 09:42
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello - I am a man that is married to a wonderful woman, who despite our best efforts, has never had an orgasm with me or anybody. I recently bought her a hypnosis CD to help her release any mental blocks, which we are still working on.

I have also discovered through much conversation and experimentation, that my wife does not enjoy direct clitoral stimulation (it tickles). She told me that she would likely get more aroused if I were rubbing her through her jeans or heavy pants...Is this something that could lead her to an orgasm and if so would she then be able to tolerate a tongue on and in her pussy once she came? I love the taste of my wife and nothing would give me greater pleasure than to make her quiver with ecstasy. I would appreciate your thoughts on this.

Dear T,

How Can I Make My Boyfriend Want Sex More?

Wed, 02/16/2011 - 09:39
Submitted by Betty Dodson

When my boyfriend and I first met we were always having sex and trying new things in the bedroom. Now it seems like he can go weeks without it and I still want sex every few days or so. Then I get frustrated because he doesn't want to have sex and we have an argument and he gets more stressed out about it. I don't want to ruin my relationship with him. Do you have any advice on what to do to make him want sex more? Or what I can do?

Dear E,

How Do I Take My Own Virginity?

Mon, 02/14/2011 - 17:35
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dr. Betty,

I'm 18 years old, and last night a friend and I tried to have sex. I have never had penetrative sex before, but he has been with several different girls, although never with a virgin before. I had also never been penetrated with anything at all, including my own fingers, so I wasn't
sure what to expect.