Betty Dodson's blog

How to Set up a Bodysex Workshop

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 16:07
Submitted by Betty Dodson

The wisdom of Consciousness Raising Groups began with 70’s feminism. It was based on the concept that, “The personal is political.”

When women talk about our personal lives, we are describing the political system we live in. We are not isolated cases of misfortune, but victims of a male dominated authoritarian system determined to control our bodies and our sexuality. The CR solution was simple: By sharing the truth about our lives, we could find solutions through our collective efforts to change ourselves.

How to Become a Slut at 40?

Fri, 02/24/2012 - 08:00
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dearest Betty,

I asked a friend to bring me your book because she is coming from USA, but she told me that it seems that is only available as an e-book, where can she find it as a paper book? is it available like that?

I have been reading a lot of interesting post in your site the last days, and I'm really surprise because many woman write you from all USA, from Europe, they tell you all the things I think too, so living in a 3th. world country, or in Denmak, or in USA is the same thing for some women, we all have the same problems and worries about sex, incredible!!! I can't believe that, I have always complained for living here!

Can't Orgasm During Masturbation Only During Sex

Thu, 02/23/2012 - 08:49
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

Your website has helped me so much over the past few years, along with some other reading and research. I overcame sexual shame and inhibitions and I was able to have my first orgasm last year with a new partner who I could relax and be open with. But I know how much emphasis you put on the importance of masturbation, and I can still only orgasm with my partner through penetration and clitoral stimulation or just through dry sex (rubbing myself against him). This is great, and really gratifying for him, but I really want to take total control of my own orgasm.

My Project -The After Dinner Party - is Dedicated to Female Anatomy

Wed, 02/22/2012 - 09:27
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty and Carlin,

I am writing to tell you of my project as your work played a part in its creation. Betty, your drawings are beautiful!

I am also an artist, primarily figurative, as well as a long time activist on a variety of issues, mainly child sexual abuse, human experimentation, and the sequelae of trauma. Just over a month ago, I read a blog about the work of Australian urologist Dr. Helen O'Connell on the internal clitoris. This information was all new to me and so I began to further research the story, which led me to your work of course. After speaking with several female friends, I discovered that it was news to them as well. I was disturbed that this organ had been disappeared from medical and common knowledge, so my project was born.

Here is a description.

How Do I Support His Desires & Maintain My Boundaries?

Tue, 02/21/2012 - 09:48
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

My boyfriend and I live together. He is open that he masturbates to pornography regularly, often after I leave for work in the morning. I understand this as healthy, but I sometimes feel uncomfortable about it, since I feel that it influences the way we have sex, and how he views women---he often wants to come on me, or asks me to "do something" he's seen in a porn, often something humiliating to me. It makes me uncomfortable, but I try to be supportive of his desires, while maintaining my boundaries. However, things recently went too far.

Masturbate Since Childhood but No Notable Buildup/Orgasm Evident

Mon, 02/20/2012 - 10:27
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I was very hesitant about sending this for a long time as I see countless inquiries you get that all seem to be on the subject of "I don't have a very strong or very evident orgasm". The main thread I see through these is most of the women asking did not masturbate through their childhood.

I read many articles in which women who masturbated as children talk about their childhood orgasms - in fact the main point in most discussion seems to be about the orgasm - our orgasms, improving them and so on.

Why is it so Hard to Orgasm During Partnersex?

Sun, 02/19/2012 - 09:23
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hey Betty.

I want to start off by saying that I really love your site. It has taught me so much about myself and made me feel..more normal.

Here's my question though. I am a 24 year old female. Not long ago I got into an exclusive no commitment relationship with this guy. He is my first. I started masturbating when I was 6 or 7. I didnt know back then what I was doing, just that it felt good. Knowingly I have been masturbating since I was 12, using my fingers, vibrating stuff and other thing things that I found useful. To this day I have no problem having an orgasm by masturbating (alone).

"Her Entire Life was a Process of Cutting Away the Dense Cultural Thickets that Defined Women’s Sexual Roles"

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 10:26
Submitted by Betty Dodson
photo: Betty Dodson

I received this fabulous review of my memoir from a friend I’ve known since the seventies, Beck Peacock and his wife Carol and a lot of other folks had a Sex Conference in BC, Canada. My side-kick was Rae Larsen who heads up SISTER (Seattle Institute for Sex Education and Research.) As I read Beck’s review, I had a case of goose bumps:

“Betty Dodson’s My Romanic Love Wars" is a rare memoir, the most unflinching account of a person’s sexual history since My Life and Loves by Frank Harris, published ninety years ago. But this time it’s a woman writing and, oh, the difference.

Starting Up a Bodysex Group in the Seattle or Portland Area

Sat, 02/18/2012 - 10:20
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty and Carlin,

There is interest brewing to have a Bodysex group in the Seattle or Portland area. You can see the comment thread in the "New Members" section, under the thread "New here, Question about Bodysex". So far, there seem to be 4 women interested. My question for now is, how can we securely exchange our contact information for organizing this? It would be great if we could somehow get each other's email addresses without posting them for all to see. I would hope nobody would try to crash someone else's Bodysex group, but you never know. Mr. "penis99" just might give it a try.

Later, we might have some questions for you two about how to lead it. We are hoping to use the new DVD for guidance.

Mozart's Sister

Thu, 02/16/2012 - 16:25
Submitted by Betty Dodson

One of the movies that has inspired me to barrel ass ahead with sex information for women is Mozart's Sister.  I had no idea that Mozart had an older sister named Nannerl.

She was a music prodigy just like her brother who played for all the European courts. In the end of a three year music tour, she met Louis XV's son in Versailles who encouraged her to write music. But Nannerl was a girl and a girls were not permitted to compose.

She died blind and penniless. I may be wrong but I believe helping women discover their own orgasms will allow us to end this double standard.

Egyptian Girl Fighting for Her Orgasms Despite FGM

Thu, 02/16/2012 - 09:27
Submitted by Betty Dodson

i had FGM when i was 12, now i'm 22 and never had any kind of sexual experience in my life, never been touched by a guy, i'm afraid i won't feel anything. i tried masturbating and there's nothing, it's ticklish down there but no pleasure at all. I have part of my clitrois left..there's a very small part left.

Where i live (egypt) there's nothing such as reconstructive is there any advice on how i can have a normal sex life?? or at least a satisfying sex life? i know you met many women who had FGM and maybe you have some advice for me.

Dear R,

Fortunately the clitoris is a much larger organ than the tip of the glans which is what we can see on the outside. The clitoris is quite extensive. Here's a link to me drawing the internal clitoris.

How Can I Reduce the Chance of Farting While Reaching Orgasm?

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 10:04
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

This is a really embarrassing question, but I sometimes fart when I orgasm. I'm sure it's a fart and not a queef. It happened in front of a partner for the first time recently because my partner was trying really hard to make me orgasm and I felt like I was taking to long, so I tensed my body and stimulated myself with my hands intensely to make myself have a very quick orgasm which was also accompanied by a very loud fart and I was humiliated.

Now I hold myself back from reaching orgasm when we have sex because I'm afraid it will happen again.This sometimes happens when I masturbate as well. Is it something I'm doing wrong? Or is there something I can do to reduce the chance of farting while reaching orgasm.

Dear D,

How Do You Control Your Hormones with Multiple Partners?

Mon, 02/13/2012 - 09:32
Submitted by Betty Dodson


You and Carlin are very adventurous and obviously you both have had sex with numerous people and continue to explore our vast population. I learned in sex ed that when a women has sex with a man, her hormones are automatically going to make her somewhat attached to that man. So my question is, is that true? And if so, how do you and Carlin curb those emotions? How are you both able to not feel attached or in love with someone you only had sex with?

Dear A,

Thought I was Empowered But the Whole Time I was Pleasing Men

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 18:05
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

Your videos have really changed my whole outlook on sexuality, and I thought I was so empowered! I thought I knew it all! How wrong I was. The whole time I'd just been pleasing men, pleasing men, pleasing men, did I have any orgasms during partnersex? Maybe once in a blue moon. It's funny, that I considered myself a sex expert, even though the only thing I was expert in is pleasing men and god knows that's not hard. It's not that I'm not comfortable with my sexuality, I am definitely very creatively, openly and voraciously sexual and know what I want, unfortunately, I just don't know how to get it.