Betty Dodson's blog

My Penis Goes Soft Unless We Have Oral Sex

Wed, 09/21/2011 - 08:46
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Ok so I'm 38 and I go soft while having sex without coming. My girl complains because we are both in the mood and nothing. We even tried to have a threesome but I couldn't even get it up. Don't get me wrong it's not always like this. When she gives me head 80% of the time I am hard until it's time to switch. I think we have sex too much. What do you think?

Dear C,

I've Tried Everything but I Still Haven't Had An Orgasm

Wed, 09/21/2011 - 08:46
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I am a twenty eight year-old woman who loves sex but never had an orgasm. I have tried several things like masturbating, toys and having sex. This bothers me because I just can't seem to focus. I have had several discussions with my obgyn and no luck. I love having sex but I'm never satisfied after. This shit is so frustrating. I have watched porn but still nothing. When I masturbate it seems pointless. I need to come, I feel deform. Having sex is becoming pointless because I dont come. I have tried soft and slow, hard and rough penetration, on my clit and I get an oooh and I awww every now and than. What is a woman to do.

Dear M,

I Want to Be Able to Come Using Only My Fingers

Wed, 09/21/2011 - 08:46
Submitted by Betty Dodson

First, thank you for all you have done to help women... I am a woman in my 50s, divorced about three years, who has experienced a huge leap in my libido after the divorce (a little estrogen cream helped!). After of many years of no sex and orgasm, I began using a vibrator, and was able to come that way. However, I can't/won't use it with my partner.

From 7 to 0 Orgasms Because of Anti-Depressants

Wed, 09/21/2011 - 08:45
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I'm 63 and having very pleasurable sex with my husband two or three times per week and also masturbating at least once per week. I'm not taking HRT; have occasionally used a topical estrogen cream but usually just use a good lubricant. Our usual routine includes lots of touching and manual/toy stimulation and especially oral. My husband rarely gets an erection, due to some serious nerve damage (diabetes). Although we'd both rather have his hard cock, we're pretty philosophical about it, and I think we've adjusted our expectations and our play, quite well. Good sex is about so many things other than hard cock!

How Do I Make Oral Sex Feel Good?

Mon, 09/19/2011 - 13:03
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I know that you say to take what you do in masturbation into partner sex and I have done this and have great orgasms with my partner manually. My question is this. How do you transfer what you might like in oral sex into partner sex? I cannot teach myself this and then transfer it like you can with touching yourself. I find when we have oral sex it feels a bit uncomfortable and not arousing. He is in the right place but it feels like his tongue is poking my clitoris and I dont know what to tell him to make it feel good. Maybe the answer is just to practice different things but would appreciate your advice.

Dear S,

Can the Way I Masturbate be Translated into Partner Sex?

Mon, 09/19/2011 - 12:57
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Betty,

First I just want to thank you for all of the help you give women every day. I felt genuinely relieved after coming across this website.  So I have been dating my boyfriend for about 9 months now we have sex often but the only problem is I have yet to get an orgasm. He goes down on me and uses his fingers almost every time which feels great but nothing ever happens. Not only am I frustrated with myself for not having gotten one yet but I also feel bad for my boyfriend who tries too hard each time. I masturbate on my belly using both hands to stimulate myself I never penetrate but I can give myself an orgasm. Is the way that I masturbate not able to translate to sex? If so, how do I change this habit? I have tried and nothing seems to do the trick.


Why Does My Vagina Feel Uncomfortable the Day After Sex?

Mon, 09/19/2011 - 12:55
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Lately I noticed that my vulva and vagina feels very uncomfortable the day after I have intercourse, this has crept up on me within the past couple of months. I have no discomfort during the act itself, use plenty of lube and clit stim with no porn star thrusting (we both gave up on that after having problems with abdominal cramping for me and a very sore back for him). I still find that the next day, it feels like there's a threat of a UTI and I'm kind of sore. Drinking lots of water and avoiding penetration for a few days seems to help. I think this is due to the fact I'm in my 40's and am not on any hormones. I've been with the same partner for over 16 years so I doubt it's him. I'm wondering if there's a better lube I can use because I really enjoy intercourse and partner sex.

I Do Not Enjoy Receiving Oral Sex

Mon, 09/19/2011 - 10:17
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty & Carlin,

I have never really enjoyed receiving oral sex. I've always enjoyed giving my bf a blow job but it just doesn't do anything for me the other way around. I've had sex with about 4 men and I've just never enjoyed it. My bf is aware of this and asks me what I like but because I've never experienced what feels good, I don't know what to tell him! In fact it can sometimes feel a bit unpleasant!

Is it common for girls not to enjoy receiving oral sex? Would appreciate any advice!

Love you both and can't wait for the bodysex group DVD!!
E xxxx

Dear E,

I'm Happy for the Opportunity to Document a Workshop I Ran for 25 Years

Mon, 09/19/2011 - 08:25
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Saturday September 17, the day after our closing party at Carlin and Geof’s apartment and I am one exhausted, happy and very fortunate octogenarian to have had the opportunity to document a workshop that I ran for 25 years. Then to have it be spectacularly successful is a dream come true.

How Do I Move Past Painful Penetration & Have Better Orgasms?

Fri, 09/16/2011 - 10:37
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi, Betty,

At first I need to say I adore you! I am 27 years old, had only one partner - my boyfriend, for 6 years. At the beginning we did not have penetrative or oral sex because of my religious beliefs (they faded away), but we had quite some play with the genitals with clothes on and light touches (mostly he touching me). After 2 years we tried vaginal penetration for a year. That was not possible, I was experiencing lots of pain. I had hymenoctomy. Since then, I have become frightened of penetration, no matter I would be aroused (just before penetration, arousal dissapeared or was less).

The More I Orgasm, The Longer He Lasts

Thu, 09/15/2011 - 09:21
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Intercourse is going better, I think I have to be more sensitive to what part of my cycle I'm in. I'm trading in my water based lube for edible oil and will let you know if it's better.

I Get Aroused But No Climax

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 16:43
Submitted by Betty Dodson


I am a healthy 17 year old who's never been in a romantic relationship. I get aroused by watching porn and fantasizing, but I've never had an orgasm or consiously "come" before (I think I've done it in my sleep but I can't exactly tell).  I can get more and more aroused as a process- but at some point I won't be able to go any further or climax no matter what I try, and my arousal just calms down. Also, I dont get aroused by toucing my clitoris or breasts. I really dont want to go through the embarrassment of going to a doctor, I cant get to sex toys, and yes- I've tried relaxing and different styles. I know it's a common problem, but I'm so very miserable over this, I feel awful... Are there any solutions? Do you believe it will pass if I have intercourse?

Do All Women Bleed The First Time They Have Sex?

Tue, 09/13/2011 - 16:35
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I was wondering if all girls bleed their first time having sex. I have fingered myself and been fingered, but I have never had a penis inside of me. I'm only 14 but I want to know if I will bleed my first time.

Dear M,

Most women do not bleed after first time intercourse unless the guy is unnecessarily rough, has a big penis and doesn't use any extra lubrication. I advise you to wait before having penetration sex. The first phase of a young girls sex life is learning what she likes in terms of clitoral stimulation and enjoying orgasms by masturbating on a regular basis. Spend some time reading the information that's available on D&R.

Dr. Betty

Am I a Freak to Want Daddy/Little Girl Sex?

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 07:57
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I'm an 18 year old girl who has been having sex for about three years with about three partners. I have never been turned on having sex with any of them, ever. It was always consensual and usually emotionally enjoyable but my body just feels numb. When I masturbate it feels good, but only for a few seconds and then the pleasure stops.

My Boyfriend Masturbates But Rarely Wants Sex With Me

Mon, 09/12/2011 - 07:54
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

First of all, thank you so much for your website. Even with as liberal of a mother as I had to raise me, the down and out details of sex, and overall how-to's are hard to find.