Hi Dr Betty,
I don't know who else to ask as I'd feel really awkward going to my doctor about this! So I'd be really grateful if you could provide some guidance.
First thing to mention is that I don't really masturbate a lot. I have never orgasmed either alone or with a partner. I've never really let that bother me too much, but my new boyfriend seems really hassled by it so I figured I should try.
I'm 64 years old and just found this site last night. Where were you 30 years ago?
I had a radical hysterectomy when I was 50. Before then I was never able to orgasm in my 30 years of marriage. I did find myself waking up at night with a clitoral orgasm which was great but I never figured out how I got there. I now am in a relationship with a very loving man and feel there may be hope.
My question is, is it too late. I noticed after my hysterectomy that my night time orgasms slowly left. I don't have them any more. My lover really arouses me and I am wondering what I can do to help myself become more responsive.
Thanks for your help.,
I'm 20 years old and have been with my current partner for 3 years. He is strictly monogamous and I think " I'm recently coming into my identity as bisexual as well and have been really wishing I could it explore it more. It's not that I don't love my partner and cherish the way our relationship is, it's just that I wish I could explore other relationships as well.
Do you have any advice?
Seems you answered your own questions. "I may be more of a polyamorous type of person. I've been feeling for awhile now like I'm missing out on the chance to date and be intimate with other people, especially being so young."
Dear Dr. Betty,
I'm 45. I've been very sexually sensitive since I was 12. I could almost orgasm on thought alone. Four years ago I was prescribed Saphris 5mg, once a day. I was also diagnosed with hemorraghic cysts on ovaries one year ago. I have lost 95% of my ability to feel any pleasure at all. This happened 3 years ago. I still get wet and can feel small muscle spasms when I have intercourse, similair to when I had sex when I could feel something. I've noticed the hood of my clitoris had shrunk.
BN sent the following message:
I am 27 year old male. I have been enjoying masturbation since I was 18. But recently I came across this phenomenon called Nofap and its benefits. So to see how it works, I stopped masturbating and watching porn. Lots of changes I saw within me. I craved for women a lot than before. I could only hold on to it for 20 days max.
I thought masturbation was the reason for me never having a girlfriend. I have had sexual experience with women but not relationships. Only thing I wanna ask here is, should I go back to regular masturbation and watching porn?
Dear Dr. B,
I hear all the time about the multiorgasmic capability of women. For me, after I come, I feel DONE. I'd love to be multiorgasmic, but the feeling of wanting to get off go away after I orgasm. I have pressure/tension orgasms (still trying to master tension/relaxation ones - my mom bought me a magic wand so I hope that helps!).
I have tried to continue to stimulate myself after an orgasm, but it just doesn't feel good anymore. Will I ever be able to have multiple orgasms?
Although you didn't mention your age, I'll assume you're a teen. First having one good orgasm is quite enough for most of us. One of the problems with so much sex information available is that we get piggy too soon and want it all NOW!
I have been a supporter of The Women’s National Health Network for more years than I can remember. Their information is so very valuable.
The last email to my friend Cindy Pearson who heads up the organization was a complaint about two columns on the back page “The G Spot and The Sore Spot.” At the time, the damn G spot was confusing both women and men about female sexual response. Porn had men diving inside our vaginas trying to find this magic “spot” which was disheartening. Seventies feminists had finally put the clitoris on the map and now we were back inside the vagina which is the birth canal.
The clitoris is our primary organ for pleasure and orgasms. Yes, there are many ways to “get off” but I’m speaking about the majority of womankind.
Amazing how I continue to learn something new thanks to “Ask Dr. Betty” on our D&R website. Many times a questioner will ask something I know nothing about. That’s when I head over to my Google god and begin searching— so easy! Not like having to pour over big reference books in some musty library.
I am new to your and Carlin's site and have enjoyed browsing the videos, books, and all the other information provided. I have recently turned 50 yrs old and haven't been the most sexual active of people for various reasons. In retrospect of this fact, I feel as though it may have worked to my advantage in that, I do not have a lot of baggage in the form of negative sexual experiences to reprogram.
Most of what I have read or heard on this site has to do, how to physically manipulate my body to achieve a desired sensation which has been very interesting and helpful. I am also noticing as I explore the realms of self touch and stimulation, not only does it wake up my physical self but my emotional self. And there, I find my baggage.
I am so glad to have found you website! I am a 24 year old girl from India. We are the land of kamasutra but sex is largely a taboo in our country and premarital sex is a strictly secret affair, no one even admits they do it!
I started having sex with my boyfriend recently, we have tried just 5-6 times so far, not counting the times we spent trying to just loosen my vagina as it was too tight and penetration hurt a lot.
My concerns are:
I'm currently on the paragard IUD and my boyfriend and I are not using condoms, praise the damn lord! All is great but I have noticed that when him and I have a lot of sex which is quite often, he does come inside of me but sometimes I notice a funky smell that lasts for a few days. To me it smells a little fishy. I know it's not an STD because him and I have gotten tested. I'm wondering if too much sperm all up in there can leave an after smell.
My boyfriend says it doesn't bother him and will even continue to go down on me but I find it gross and annoying, and sometimes will turn me off because I can smell it. The last time him and I had sex was Friday and we had sex multiple times but we also had sex 3 days in a row too.
I'm 46 and have been with my husband since I'm 16. Yes 30 years!!!! I have to admit that the bedroom became very boring the last couple of years. I think a multitude of things- more on my part. Probably all on my part. I almost felt like sex was a job. I must add to this twist- I HAVE NEVER MASTURBATED!!!!!! Well maybe twice I touched when I was like 12. Ok get back on your chair. I bet you don't hear that often. So I decided to look within myself and say I'm young and attractive (normal) I do not get dressed up to go to the mailbox- My husband truly loves me and I figured WTF am I doing. I have issues with dryness and PH issues in the flower area. But I decided to just give it an uninhibited whirl.
Dear Dr. Betty,
I would like some information on how to self penetrate my vagina, in terms of how to put my finger upon entering.
Begin with an overall vulva massage using an organic massage oil. Next spend at least 10 minutes gently stimulating your clitoris. Once you feel a degree of sexual arousal, slowly insert your middle finger that has been manicured and covered with oil. Consciously squeeze and release your pelvic floor muscle while taking full breathes.
Go slow and smile.
Thanks so much for taking the time to answer.
I'm 19 years old and sexually active, i have a bit of a problem with the fact that my labia majora is so swollen after oral sex or just stimulation. My partners have either given oral or tried to stimulate it but i dont really feel anything and at the end of the night its so swollen that i had to try to cool it down with ice water but it usually takes 2-3 days to go back to its normal size.
Could this be some kind of infection? Or is it just me?