Dear Dr. B,
I hear all the time about the multiorgasmic capability of women. For me, after I come, I feel DONE. I'd love to be multiorgasmic, but the feeling of wanting to get off go away after I orgasm. I have pressure/tension orgasms (still trying to master tension/relaxation ones - my mom bought me a magic wand so I hope that helps!).
I have tried to continue to stimulate myself after an orgasm, but it just doesn't feel good anymore. Will I ever be able to have multiple orgasms?
Although you didn't mention your age, I'll assume you're a teen. First having one good orgasm is quite enough for most of us. One of the problems with so much sex information available is that we get piggy too soon and want it all NOW!
I have been a supporter of The Women’s National Health Network for more years than I can remember. Their information is so very valuable.
The last email to my friend Cindy Pearson who heads up the organization was a complaint about two columns on the back page “The G Spot and The Sore Spot.” At the time, the damn G spot was confusing both women and men about female sexual response. Porn had men diving inside our vaginas trying to find this magic “spot” which was disheartening. Seventies feminists had finally put the clitoris on the map and now we were back inside the vagina which is the birth canal.
The clitoris is our primary organ for pleasure and orgasms. Yes, there are many ways to “get off” but I’m speaking about the majority of womankind.
Amazing how I continue to learn something new thanks to “Ask Dr. Betty” on our D&R website. Many times a questioner will ask something I know nothing about. That’s when I head over to my Google god and begin searching— so easy! Not like having to pour over big reference books in some musty library.
I am new to your and Carlin's site and have enjoyed browsing the videos, books, and all the other information provided. I have recently turned 50 yrs old and haven't been the most sexual active of people for various reasons. In retrospect of this fact, I feel as though it may have worked to my advantage in that, I do not have a lot of baggage in the form of negative sexual experiences to reprogram.
Most of what I have read or heard on this site has to do, how to physically manipulate my body to achieve a desired sensation which has been very interesting and helpful. I am also noticing as I explore the realms of self touch and stimulation, not only does it wake up my physical self but my emotional self. And there, I find my baggage.
I am so glad to have found you website! I am a 24 year old girl from India. We are the land of kamasutra but sex is largely a taboo in our country and premarital sex is a strictly secret affair, no one even admits they do it!
I started having sex with my boyfriend recently, we have tried just 5-6 times so far, not counting the times we spent trying to just loosen my vagina as it was too tight and penetration hurt a lot.
My concerns are:
I'm currently on the paragard IUD and my boyfriend and I are not using condoms, praise the damn lord! All is great but I have noticed that when him and I have a lot of sex which is quite often, he does come inside of me but sometimes I notice a funky smell that lasts for a few days. To me it smells a little fishy. I know it's not an STD because him and I have gotten tested. I'm wondering if too much sperm all up in there can leave an after smell.
My boyfriend says it doesn't bother him and will even continue to go down on me but I find it gross and annoying, and sometimes will turn me off because I can smell it. The last time him and I had sex was Friday and we had sex multiple times but we also had sex 3 days in a row too.
I'm 46 and have been with my husband since I'm 16. Yes 30 years!!!! I have to admit that the bedroom became very boring the last couple of years. I think a multitude of things- more on my part. Probably all on my part. I almost felt like sex was a job. I must add to this twist- I HAVE NEVER MASTURBATED!!!!!! Well maybe twice I touched when I was like 12. Ok get back on your chair. I bet you don't hear that often. So I decided to look within myself and say I'm young and attractive (normal) I do not get dressed up to go to the mailbox- My husband truly loves me and I figured WTF am I doing. I have issues with dryness and PH issues in the flower area. But I decided to just give it an uninhibited whirl.
Dear Dr. Betty,
I would like some information on how to self penetrate my vagina, in terms of how to put my finger upon entering.
Begin with an overall vulva massage using an organic massage oil. Next spend at least 10 minutes gently stimulating your clitoris. Once you feel a degree of sexual arousal, slowly insert your middle finger that has been manicured and covered with oil. Consciously squeeze and release your pelvic floor muscle while taking full breathes.
Go slow and smile.
Thanks so much for taking the time to answer.
I'm 19 years old and sexually active, i have a bit of a problem with the fact that my labia majora is so swollen after oral sex or just stimulation. My partners have either given oral or tried to stimulate it but i dont really feel anything and at the end of the night its so swollen that i had to try to cool it down with ice water but it usually takes 2-3 days to go back to its normal size.
Could this be some kind of infection? Or is it just me?
Not long ago I wondered if I’d ever be invited to open a conference by delivering the keynote talk. After all, as a best selling feminist author who has also conducted countless Bodysex workshops worldwide, I’ve been teaching women how to harness the power of electric vibrators for independent orgasms along with overcoming genital shame and body loathing. As a one woman masturbation crusader, I doubt I’ll ever be embraced by any patriarchal/matriarchal system that makes up our so-called “democracies.” This is especially true in America where fundamental religiosity has consumed the Republican Party that’s now hell bent on controlling women’s sexuality. A project doomed to fail.
Dear Dr. Betty,
My name's A, and I'm a 21-year old female virgin. For my 21-st B-day three weeks ago, I decided to try something new with my masturbation life and buy myself my first genuine vibrator. After a few days of researching for the best one, I settled for a $40 silicone clitoral vibe and was thrilled to start using it.
And, like most youth, I was impatient and slammed the vibe onto my vulva expecting to feel instant gratification... well, it did feel good for about 1-2 mins, but then my vulva got numb and I got frustrated and just stopped. So, ever since then I've been experimenting with different techniques to make using a vibrator work for me.
Dear Dr. Betty,
The scent of used panties sends a powerful jolt to my penis, especially the scent in the midcycle fertility. The real thing does that too but not to the extent of the concentrated scent on panties.
Why don't women accept this as a compliment instead of treating it as a yuck?
It's an advanced women who can enjoy her own scent especially when it's pungent during ovulation or after a period. Most of us are overly concerned about smelling like a rose at all times. Just look at the cosmetic and perfume industries raking in a fortune to avoid smelling human.
Hi Dr. Betty,
I'm a 26 year old male and my girlfriend is a 23 year old virgin. She's not a virgin because of any religious reasons, but because she just never really found the right guy to do it with. Honestly, I take no issue with that choice what so ever. I adore this girl more than I can describe and we would do anything for each other. This is by far the best relationship I've ever been in.
Lately though, she's been talking about wanting to finally take the plunge...or finally letting me take the plunge. Either way, I have some concerns.
Dearest Betty and Carlin:
My wife and I both grew up in fairly dysfunctional (but non-abusive) families where sexual dialogue and education didn't exist. I was heavily committed to an evangelical religious worldview during my adolescent and young adult years, and we both came to our marriage bed as virgins, however one might define that term--no penetrative sex with any other human beings, save for one R-rated event during college on my part. I was 28 and she was 26. I was "saving it for Jesus--" with the hopes of a 0-60mph blissful eternal sexual life, a deferred-pleasure reward for being so strong and self-disciplined, and non-sinful.
I am a healthy 22-year-old female, and sadly, I have not had sex in over a year now. I can reach orgasm on my own by clitoral stimulation, but orgasm only once because my clit is too sensitive, although there were a few rare times that I was able to orgasm twice. So my question to you is this... am I too young to use a sex toy?
And if not which will you recommend me to try? I was thinking about a dildo, but the problem is that I still live with my parents and I do not think I'll be able to hide it well. Looking forward to hearing from you!