Betty Dodson's blog

Betty, What's Your Sex Life with Men These Days?

Tue, 06/07/2016 - 07:35
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

Hope I'm not being too nosey. I would like to know what your sex life with men is like these days?

W

Hi W, Since I'm about as far "out" sexually as you can get, I loved your question. As you might suspect, not many men (young or old) are interested in having sex with an "older" woman, especially one as knowledgeable as I am. They want youth with no comparisons which keeps alive the "virginity myth."
Since I did the same thing when I was in my seventies (The youth of old age.) I understand this. During that decade I was living with a man who was some forty years younger. Our sexlife was spectacular! I was also teaching him all that I'd learned as a sexually active woman.

Is It Ethical to Have Sex for $ with Someone Cheating on a Partner?

Fri, 06/03/2016 - 08:13
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I appreciate your frank and honest approach to sexuality, Betty, and the way you and your team are focused on empowering women. Thank you for that. I've been wanting to ask a true feminist this question for some time: Is it ethical for a person to have sex for money with someone they know is cheating on a partner?

I get that the "cheating" part is mostly the fault of the person soliciting (usually male). However, one of the reasons sex work is frowned upon is because of this fact. Most women who are not sex workers tend to be very judgmental about prostitutes, which I think stems from this reality.

Who are the Fallen Sheroes?

Mon, 05/30/2016 - 09:22
Submitted by Betty Dodson

We rarely honor our feminist heroes on Memorial Day. So I’m taking time to answer a friend’s question: “Who are your fallen sheroes?”

I start by honoring past Goddesses including my current goddess of Sexual Love and Abundance who lives on in my mind’s eye. I call upon her daily asking for guidance, strength and compassion. Then I honor historical figures like Cleopatra, a few more Queens and other dynamic women from the past. Then I jump all the way forward to the Suffragettes who got women the vote in 1922. That’s when I zero in on Victoria Woodhull, the feminist who openly supported sexual freedom by taking many lovers in a variety of configurations. What an inspiration! Next I take my hat off to Margaret Sanger honing in on the importance of birth control.

First Orgasm at 33 with Hitachi. How Can I Orgasm with My Hands?

Fri, 05/27/2016 - 06:39
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Dr Betty,

I found your website a little while ago and it's been such a relief to be able to read through so many informational posts and not feel abnormal anymore.

I'm 33 years old and until very recently I'd never had an orgasm in my life.

I Can't Imagine Only Having Sex with Him

Mon, 05/23/2016 - 08:10
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I have a boyfriend that really loves me, cares for me and supports me. We open our relationship for seven months while I was studying out of the country, but he was too jealous and broke up with me. I came back and we got back together. But now it is almost impossible for me staying monogamous. I cheated on him and now I feel like I am a horrible person.

I like having sex with my boyfriend, I trust him and we use a vibrator on my clit so I always finish. With other guys I dont dare to use it, so I dont always have orgasms, but I get really turn on and really really wet, I feel alive!! and that doesnt happens me anymore with my boyfriend.

Is Being Self Sexual a Legitimate & "Okay" Way To Be?

Mon, 05/16/2016 - 07:36
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I LOVE your YouTube videos!

I'm 47 years old and you answer all the questions no one else ever did - thank you! My question is this, as I get older I much, much prefer to be "selfsexual" - meaning I no longer want or feel I need a partner. I don't consider it just masturbation however as I feel it is my "sexual-preference" to NOT be with another person. In fact, truthfully, I never enjoyed having a partner. I am realizing I was probably always selfsexual. I would love to get your opinion and insight on this.

Is being selfsexual a legitimate and "okay" way to be?

Dear K,

Boyfriend Can' Feel It When I Perform Oral on Him

Mon, 05/09/2016 - 08:16
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years now. In past relationships I have performed oral sex with success. I love to do it because of the reaction I get while doing it. It turns me on more. With my boyfriend, I have attempted oral sex on him, but he says each time, "I can't feel that". It frustrates me because I know i know what I'm doing, and am trying really hard not to take it personally.

At the Age of 87 I'm Still Having Orgasms

Fri, 05/06/2016 - 15:22
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Way back in 1972, I hammered out an opening sentence for my first and last article for Ms. Magazine. “Masturbation has been part of my life since the age of five. It saw me through childhood, puberty; romantic loves, marriage and it will happily see me through old age.” That same sentence also introduced my first self-published book that actually established my future; Liberating Masturbation: a Meditation on Selflove.

Feel Ashamed & Worthless Because of My Small Penis Size

Wed, 05/04/2016 - 08:37
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hey Dr. Betty,

Ever since I was around 12 I grew up being shamed, humiliated and talked down to for having a small dick. Sounds stupid but from always being told I'm worthless and pathetic from a very impressionable age it made me really devalue myself a lot growing up and feel ashamed of my body. I felt like nothing but a freak deep down after a few years. I would even hear the females in my family laughing about how a grown man with a small penis is not really a man and is funny as hell. I was too embarrassed to ever talk to anyone about it.

Is My Clitoris Damaged from Leaning on Furniture?

Fri, 04/29/2016 - 07:09
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

Hello! I am 23 and am concerned about my vaginal health. Since I was a little girl, and really before I can even remember, I realized that grinding on corners of furniture felt good. I did it for as long as I can remember- before I even realized what I was doing. Once I realized that I was indeed masturbating, I continued to do so in this fashion because it felt good and I could climax with all my clothes on in less than a minute.

From Bodysex to An On Camera Interview for Nat Geo

Mon, 04/25/2016 - 07:08
Submitted by Betty Dodson

This past workshop was for women being certified to run their own Bodysex workshops and a lively bunch they were! Our Ritual Masturbation Circle took off and became outrageously hot, even bawdy, bordering on low down and dirty with women expressing immense joy with abandon.  Someone pinch me to make sure I’m not dreaming that this actually happened.

My Vagina is Dry Even When I Masturbate

Mon, 04/11/2016 - 07:28
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello!

I am a17 year old super virgin. I've never made out w a guy or even done anything sexually w one either. However, I do masturbate. I don't think I've ever had an orgasm but I also don't masturbate often. Recently I've been having trouble w the lubrication of my vagina. I never had a problem w getting or staying wet before ever.

Now I've noticed that my vagina is much more dryer than usual and I cannot stay wet when I masturbate. I did a bit of research but I am still baffled and conceded. I think it may be because I was on an acne medication called acutane for about over 6 months. I'm worried that if I do get w a guy I won't be able to get wet or stay wet.

I have no clue what's going on. Do you have any idea or suggestions? Anything would be helpful. Thanks :)

Did Labiaplasty Damage My Clitoris?

Fri, 04/08/2016 - 08:12
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am writing because I have found your advice to other women with similar queries to be of great comfort, and feel that you may be able to help me with this problem.

I grew up in a household where both my mother and sister were incredibly body conscious, obsessed with their weight and appearance. At around eleven, I realised my vagina didn't look like the "pornstar" vagina idealised by the boys I went to school with. I suffered from depression for many years and then decided at the age of twenty to have a labiaplasty. I went to a surgeon recommended by my GP and the surgery went well - no scarring, pain or infections. Although there were no complications, I wish I had found a website like yours sooner as I don't think I would have gone through with it.

Whenever I Do a Pelvic Exam My Patients Apologize

Thu, 04/07/2016 - 08:02
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hello Dr. Betty,

I am a relatively new female physician, and I am writing to ask for some advice when providing gynaecological care for patients.

Specifically, my colleagues and I have noticed that whenever we need to perform any sort of pelvic exam, female patients almost always apologize. This usually takes the form of apologizing for their lack of shaving or waxing, any perceived abnormal anatomy, or many times women are just apologetic or ashamed in general. Interestingly, none of us have ever had a male patient apologize when performing a genital exam. Sometimes, I think that women are more worried about what they think their physician/nurse thinks about about "how they look," than the actual pelvic exam itself.

I Can't Bring Her to Orgasm Anymore

Fri, 04/01/2016 - 07:35
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dr. Betty,

First and foremost, hello. I am a new member on your site. I am in dire need of help. My problem is, I am in a long (international) distance relationship and my girlfriend is having problems achieving an orgasm. Of course, I have no problems getting mine. But the thing is, I would like to please her more and I don't enjoy it when she doesn't achieve an orgasm and I do. I'll admit at times I get worked up rather quickly and she loves long foreplay. Even with the addition of long foreplay she still doesn't orgasm. We don't get to see one another a lot because our relationship is an international one. We have a 16 month old child together and I know a child can run a person ragged.