Hi Dr. Betty & Carlin:
I have had good heterosexual sex throughout my life. Now, at 50, I'm more interested in ever to have sex with another male. Seems that my most arousing fantasies these days involve sucking a beautiful hard cock and fucking and getting fucked hard by another guy... It's such a hot fantasy!
My question is, do you feel there's a double standard when it comes to male vs female bisexuality. I feel that somehow it's seen as OK for the girls to fuck other girls, but for boys to fuck is just down right gay. Your feedback is respected and appreciated!
Dear Dr. Betty,
Hope I'm not being too nosey. I would like to know what your sex life with men is like these days?
Hi W, Since I'm about as far "out" sexually as you can get, I loved your question. As you might suspect, not many men (young or old) are interested in having sex with an "older" woman, especially one as knowledgeable as I am. They want youth with no comparisons which keeps alive the "virginity myth."
Since I did the same thing when I was in my seventies (The youth of old age.) I understand this. During that decade I was living with a man who was some forty years younger. Our sexlife was spectacular! I was also teaching him all that I'd learned as a sexually active woman.
Dear Dr. Betty,
I appreciate your frank and honest approach to sexuality, Betty, and the way you and your team are focused on empowering women. Thank you for that. I've been wanting to ask a true feminist this question for some time: Is it ethical for a person to have sex for money with someone they know is cheating on a partner?
I get that the "cheating" part is mostly the fault of the person soliciting (usually male). However, one of the reasons sex work is frowned upon is because of this fact. Most women who are not sex workers tend to be very judgmental about prostitutes, which I think stems from this reality.
We rarely honor our feminist heroes on Memorial Day. So I’m taking time to answer a friend’s question: “Who are your fallen sheroes?”
I start by honoring past Goddesses including my current goddess of Sexual Love and Abundance who lives on in my mind’s eye. I call upon her daily asking for guidance, strength and compassion. Then I honor historical figures like Cleopatra, a few more Queens and other dynamic women from the past. Then I jump all the way forward to the Suffragettes who got women the vote in 1922. That’s when I zero in on Victoria Woodhull, the feminist who openly supported sexual freedom by taking many lovers in a variety of configurations. What an inspiration! Next I take my hat off to Margaret Sanger honing in on the importance of birth control.
Hello Dr Betty,
I found your website a little while ago and it's been such a relief to be able to read through so many informational posts and not feel abnormal anymore.
I'm 33 years old and until very recently I'd never had an orgasm in my life.
I have a boyfriend that really loves me, cares for me and supports me. We open our relationship for seven months while I was studying out of the country, but he was too jealous and broke up with me. I came back and we got back together. But now it is almost impossible for me staying monogamous. I cheated on him and now I feel like I am a horrible person.
I like having sex with my boyfriend, I trust him and we use a vibrator on my clit so I always finish. With other guys I dont dare to use it, so I dont always have orgasms, but I get really turn on and really really wet, I feel alive!! and that doesnt happens me anymore with my boyfriend.
I LOVE your YouTube videos!
I'm 47 years old and you answer all the questions no one else ever did - thank you! My question is this, as I get older I much, much prefer to be "selfsexual" - meaning I no longer want or feel I need a partner. I don't consider it just masturbation however as I feel it is my "sexual-preference" to NOT be with another person. In fact, truthfully, I never enjoyed having a partner. I am realizing I was probably always selfsexual. I would love to get your opinion and insight on this.
Is being selfsexual a legitimate and "okay" way to be?
Dear Dr. Betty,
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years now. In past relationships I have performed oral sex with success. I love to do it because of the reaction I get while doing it. It turns me on more. With my boyfriend, I have attempted oral sex on him, but he says each time, "I can't feel that". It frustrates me because I know i know what I'm doing, and am trying really hard not to take it personally.
Way back in 1972, I hammered out an opening sentence for my first and last article for Ms. Magazine. “Masturbation has been part of my life since the age of five. It saw me through childhood, puberty; romantic loves, marriage and it will happily see me through old age.” That same sentence also introduced my first self-published book that actually established my future; Liberating Masturbation: a Meditation on Selflove.
Hey Dr. Betty,
Ever since I was around 12 I grew up being shamed, humiliated and talked down to for having a small dick. Sounds stupid but from always being told I'm worthless and pathetic from a very impressionable age it made me really devalue myself a lot growing up and feel ashamed of my body. I felt like nothing but a freak deep down after a few years. I would even hear the females in my family laughing about how a grown man with a small penis is not really a man and is funny as hell. I was too embarrassed to ever talk to anyone about it.
Hello! I am 23 and am concerned about my vaginal health. Since I was a little girl, and really before I can even remember, I realized that grinding on corners of furniture felt good. I did it for as long as I can remember- before I even realized what I was doing. Once I realized that I was indeed masturbating, I continued to do so in this fashion because it felt good and I could climax with all my clothes on in less than a minute.
This past workshop was for women being certified to run their own Bodysex workshops and a lively bunch they were! Our Ritual Masturbation Circle took off and became outrageously hot, even bawdy, bordering on low down and dirty with women expressing immense joy with abandon. Someone pinch me to make sure I’m not dreaming that this actually happened.
I am a17 year old super virgin. I've never made out w a guy or even done anything sexually w one either. However, I do masturbate. I don't think I've ever had an orgasm but I also don't masturbate often. Recently I've been having trouble w the lubrication of my vagina. I never had a problem w getting or staying wet before ever.
Now I've noticed that my vagina is much more dryer than usual and I cannot stay wet when I masturbate. I did a bit of research but I am still baffled and conceded. I think it may be because I was on an acne medication called acutane for about over 6 months. I'm worried that if I do get w a guy I won't be able to get wet or stay wet.
I have no clue what's going on. Do you have any idea or suggestions? Anything would be helpful. Thanks :)
I am writing because I have found your advice to other women with similar queries to be of great comfort, and feel that you may be able to help me with this problem.
I grew up in a household where both my mother and sister were incredibly body conscious, obsessed with their weight and appearance. At around eleven, I realised my vagina didn't look like the "pornstar" vagina idealised by the boys I went to school with. I suffered from depression for many years and then decided at the age of twenty to have a labiaplasty. I went to a surgeon recommended by my GP and the surgery went well - no scarring, pain or infections. Although there were no complications, I wish I had found a website like yours sooner as I don't think I would have gone through with it.
Hello Dr. Betty,
I am a relatively new female physician, and I am writing to ask for some advice when providing gynaecological care for patients.
Specifically, my colleagues and I have noticed that whenever we need to perform any sort of pelvic exam, female patients almost always apologize. This usually takes the form of apologizing for their lack of shaving or waxing, any perceived abnormal anatomy, or many times women are just apologetic or ashamed in general. Interestingly, none of us have ever had a male patient apologize when performing a genital exam. Sometimes, I think that women are more worried about what they think their physician/nurse thinks about about "how they look," than the actual pelvic exam itself.