Betty Dodson's blog

I've heard about those rich bankers sitting around a big table figuring how to get more money and power. But I never got the whole picture. Thanks to John Kozy, I finally understand the power dynamics taking place in America. Figuring out our government's power structure is not unlike figuring out female sexuality and answering the question, "What do women want?" I'd say we want more humane consideration beyond what a handful of old white men with white hair are willing to give. They are greedy self-absorbed psychopaths that don't care about anything or anyone beyond their own dynasty. It's time to rebel.

Whose Country is it anyway?
by Prof. John Kozy

A political-economic oligarchy has taken over the United States of America. This oligarchy has institutionalized a body of law that protects businesses at the expense of not only the common people but the nation itself.

I'm writing because I know of you Betty, because of my wife. She wrote to you a couple of times about advanced techniques for women, and you were wonderful in writing back. In one note, you called her "you darling little sex piggy", which made her year! Please indulge me while I explain my request: Rene has always adored you because you taught her what William Masters himself, live and in person could not - how to have fantastic orgasms that go on and on... after reading/viewing your work, she could extend one orgasm beyond what I'd ever seen a woman find. It was amazing.

Christopher Ryan's piece below on hooking up begs the question, "why can't we have sex without intimacy"? Oh please! The word "intimacy" is so over used by therapists, authors and the society at large with no real under standing of what the word means. What is wrong with a sexual friendship? It sure as hell beats a committed monogamous marriage where the couple struggles to get it up for sex until they finally give up altogether. I'm so tired of all the cheap moralizing from people who's own sex lives are lived in shades of gray.

I played the commitment game until after I got divorced from a fairly sexless marriage. From the age of 36 on I indulged in delightful casual sex of America's Sexual Revolution. Today I look back on that period with love in my heart and gratitude for all the wonderful folks who shared sex with me. Those days were filled with some of the finest moments of intimacy I've every experienced.  Thank you Steve Otero for the link:

NPR (National Public Radio) recently joined the ever-growing list of media outlets and authors expressing confusion and poorly-veiled condemnation of what they call the "culture of hooking up" a.k.a. "sex without intimacy." According to these no-doubt middle-aged sources, intimacy-free sex is sweeping the nation.

I've now gotten several requests to respond to the Sanford affair. My friend Richard send copies of the emails between Sanford and Maria as proof this was more than sex. That it was the real thing with real feelings of love for one another. He's a hopeless romantic, and while I am too, I fight it.

I'm a tough ole army mule when it comes to discussing "true love" which I think is based upon "true lust" and I see nothing wrong with that. Why do we have to denigrate the desire to have sex to uphold the myth that a monogamous marriage is more than a business arrangement sanctioned by society and granted special privileges by our government? We hear about politicians when this happens, but as a sexologist with a private practice, I know a large portion of our population is unable to sustain sexual fidelity as Amanda Marcotte explained in her piece For Many, Marriage is Sexless, Boring and Oppressive. People mostly rely on "don't ask, don't tell" which doesn't really work in the end because it requires the omission of truth which is kind of a sneaky lie.

Sure, the Times piece on the sanctity of marriage spews positive PR to uphold the institution because that keeps most of us in line so we can continue to be good consumers. The big corps demand that from us. My question is: When are we going to redefine marriage so that it becomes more sexually realistic and practical? I'm thinking about making an effort to do just that. When I can find time.

My friend Maggie Tapert in Switzerland who teaches women about orgasm and sexual pleasure very similar to how I've been doing has gone to jail. She was collecting women's old bras in Zurich's banking square and in spite of being told to stop she was determined to keep her word and finish the week. It's such a wonderful example of the heavy hand of the law when it comes to women's sexuality. I'm rooting for you Maggie. Read on:

What started as an amusing and playful effort to raise public interest in my passionate obsession - the female orgasm - has ended with an unexpected challenge. Within the next few weeks, I will serve my first jail term. Who would have thought that the Swiss justice system would feel the need to punish me so severely for the supposed "crime" of collecting used bras on the central square.

And let me tell you, this is turning out to be a fabulous opportunity to experience the transformational power of total feminine surrender!

The death of macho would also include the death of ultra femme. Personally I'm willing to let them both die a natural death simply from boredom of traditional gender roles. Eric says that macho will always win in the bedroom. Carlin says she likes a man who can volley with her. Me? I appreciate a man who is willing to take turns when it comes to running the fuck. Lately, I prefer just me where I can play all the roles but then I'm a postmenopausal gal who's seen it all.

The era of male dominance is coming to an end.  Seriously.  For years, the world has been witnessing a quiet but monumental shift of power from men to women. Today, the Great Recession has turned what was an evolutionary shift into a revolutionary one. The consequence will be not only a mortal blow to the macho men's club called finance capitalism that got the world into the current economic catastrophe; it will be a collective crisis for millions and millions of working men around the globe.

Like most folks who love music, I too admired Michael Jackson and his huge talent. However, when I saw the most recent images of him on TV, it pained me to see the monster he created with the help of some greedy plastic surgeons with no ethics. My astrologer buddy Eric Francis wrote this very good piece about Michael's final appearance:

Thoughts about Michael Jackson have been wafting in all day. Dominick had on some cable music thing piped into his cafe that was playing a bunch of the old songs, ‘Dancing Machine' came on, and I had a flashback to third grade when I was stage managing a talent show and these three hot girls did this dance act (we're talking 1973 or so) and I did the lights, flipping circuit breakers to make the footlights on the elementary school stage create a disco pattern.

I've been harping about how badly people eat since the seventies when I began to tune into eating fresh whole foods and to avoid packaged or frozen foods. I was a vegetarian for a while, did juice fasts, got colonics and came off sugar, white flour and all dairy products. I'm far from perfect these days but so far, I've never eaten at a McDonalds or any other fast food restaurants. It's no accident that at 80, I am not taking any meds.

These are some of the responses I received after penning my essay Fucking Like a Feminist where I posed the question: What does fucking like a feminist mean to you?

For me, "fucking like a feminist" means expressing my true self within and through my eroticism -- allowing myself to explore and experience the pleasure of my body; taking responsibility for my experience and my choices; freely exploring and/or adopting any style, role and/or activity that appeals to me (submissive or dominant; playful or romantic; voluntary celibacy or polymorphous experimentation, etc.) and my partners, with partners of my own choosing and honoring the same freedom of self discovery and self expression for others.

I just donated to Single Payer Action and so should you.  If you don't understand what "Single Payer" means and how it relates to our health care system, watch this animated short.

Ralph Nadar nails it again when he says, "Obama's going along to get along." Our president is bending over while the BIG insurance and drug corporations stick it to him. They run the country not us pitiful tax paying voters who voted Obama in based on some meaningful change. I'm broken hearted to say, the new boss is the same as the old boss. We just got fooled again.

Personally, I think they way we rely on health insurance is crazy. By the time a person needs a doctor or ends up in the hospital could be avoided by outlawing fast food restaurants and packaged junk food. If people started drinking clean water instead of diet drinks they could avoid a lot of health problems right there. Until people learn how to feed themselves, including the medical professionals we will end up needing help. That's the least government should do for it's citizens.

Marty Klein hit the nail on the head again in his latest issue of Sexual Intelligence:

Newsweek recently called out Oprah for being a quack. In a cover story titled "Crazy Talk: Oprah, Wacky Cures & You," they cited shows she's enthusiastically done on cancer, autism, and other subjects featuring non-experts offering ineffective or dangerous medical tips. She also endorses mystical new age "thinking" as a health strategy.

One thing Newsweek didn't mention was Oprah's ignorant, destructive positions on sex.

Take sexual orientation, for example-a subject that's been in the news once or twice lately. As recently as 10 weeks ago, Oprah was asking psychologist Lisa Diamond if women turn to other women sexually "because of a shortage of men." Oprah also wondered why, when women turn away from men, so many seem to choose women who don't, um, look so feminine.

I had to post this woman's rant on the lack of oral sex reciprocity.  Unless a man knows how to "go down", it's been my experience that it's not worth it. Instead of a shower nozzle, I prefer my Hitachi ;)

Don't shoot the messenger but here is "Renee's" position:

Sex, Sex, Sex and more Sex. We are so obsessed with sex that we often attach it to things that it has no relation to and when it comes to the actual conversations about intercourse, we use ridiculous euphemisms to highlight our supposed discomfort. Speaking directly is something that is often discouraged in women and yet we are expected to be overwhelmed with our lovers prowess even when they leave us wanting to reach for a vibrator.

Sexually men are understood as predatory and in constant image search of sex and this dynamic is routinely played out in the bedroom. No man is ever to shy to say suck my dick and often fellatio is perceived as a necessary prerequisite to copulation. A woman that does not enjoy giving head or finds it repulsive, is image deemed to be sexually repressed. When it is about a mans pleasure suddenly the idea of female sexual purity dissipates... Erections often lead to a loss of supposed sexual morality; orgasms before slut shaming.

Eric Francis has been my astrologer and I've been his sex teacher who inspired him to publicly embrace masturbation. His "Book of Blue" has grown into a delightful diary of a courageous and talented young man exploring life, sex and himself with a camera and the written word:

I think vulvas are gorgeous-and I do mean some of the most beautiful creations of nature. Yes, I am chick happy. But this is a special passion for me; and the vulva is no ordinary physical or biological object. It is, for most of us, the gateway to life. It has many other roles, but we owe the vulva its due as the portal into human existence, as designed by nature. And for that reason alone, it's worthy of the highest praise.

My long time friend Carol Queen and I talked last night until 3am over a bottle of wine. We solved all the sex problems of the world only now I can't remember what they were. We were way overdue for an late night jam session. Below is Carol's take on David Carradine's untimely death:

Every time I hear about a suicide (especially in a hotel room) which involves a hanging, I wonder if the police and the media will publicly mention the part about the porn. Because if there's porn involved -- or genital bondage, as there reportedly was in David Carradine's untimely death this week -- I don't buy the suicide argument, though maybe you could call such a death a cousin of one caused by a losing game of Russian roulette. Instead, it's "death by (sexual) misadventure."

The killing of Dr.Tiller offers no better example of why I couldn't wait to leave Wichita and move to NYC. This was back in 1950, so I missed the big abortion insanity that has raged there since I left home. I'm ashamed of my sister and brother Kansans. I can only hope they become better educated and the fog of ignorance lifts. To answer the question Thomas Franks asks in his brilliant book, "What's the Matter with Kansas" my answer is fundamentalist religion and the spin of Republican double speak that gets these folks to vote against their own interests based on buzz words like "liberal elite."