Dear Dr. Betty,
I hit puberty when I was only 9 and started feeling really sexual at about 13. I would try rubbing my clit,fingering, the "come here" motion and nothing worked. Not only did I not feel pleasure, but I barely felt anything at all. Especially in my clit. I was so disappointed and frustrated about not feeling anything that I threw away my virginity to see if it was different. It wasn't. I felt absolutely nothing. Not even pain. The boy was only 13 and it was his first time too, but he really tried. He tried sucking on my clit and rubbing it during penetration. Didn't feel it. I took a break from sex after hating it so much and tried to stick to masturbation.
love the website. So my question is this. I am a 30 year old virgin is something wrong with me for being one? I feel that I should have lost it a long time ago. Now for more about me. I am a straight man and I feel guilty for finding women attractive and also my heterosexuality feels wrong. I am also really insecure about the size of my penis. I come from a house where my dad was a sexual deviant and through out my teenage years my mother constantly reminded my me about it.so my sexual feelings feel wrong till the point that I have publicly purged my sexual self till the point where not even my own family knows I am straight.
Dear Dr. Betty,
First of all, as a woman, I can't thank you and Carlin enough for your empowering, liberating efforts, which have closely guided me through my journey of sexual discovery.
I've masturbated with tension since I've been a child by humping the mattress and keeping my legs straight. It gives me localized, nice little orgasms which are clearly defined: there's a built-up of tension, I reach that small peak, calm down, get wet and my clit becomes very sensitive (in a good way).
I am a 23 year old and I've never had an orgasm. I've never had sex (though I like to say I took my own virginity!). I masturbate a lot, at least once a day. I mostly don't use toys, but I do have an array over tried out. For some reason I always reach the same stopping point regardless of if I'm with a partner, by myself, using toys, or not using toys. Whenever I reach this stopping point i just don't want to continue. It feels weird and it's not really pleasant. Sometimes when at exactly the moment I reach this stopping point I start crying and I have no idea why. This has happened with partners and when I'm by myself.
Dear Dr Betty,
I first off wanted to thank you for responding to my message I sent in a few months ago where you encouraged me to stop listening to my peers bragging about their sex lives and do things at my own pace, including continuing with masturbation. It was so nice to receive your response.
I now have a sexual partner and have had penetrative sex for the first time a few days ago. He has done this before, although I don't think he has much experience either as despite the foreplay being good and feeling very turned on, the sex seemed pretty aggressive, and he didn't return the oral sex I gave to him. He also used a condom but was unable to orgasm, so the sex ended with us both feeling frustrated and awkward. For my first time it was a bit disappointing.
Hello Dr. Betty,
I'm 18 years old and have been masturbating and able to reach orgasm since a really young age. I've always been and continue to be a very sexual person. I masturbate regularly, sometimes more than once. I'm a virgin but i've had phone sex with guys before. However, i'm always masturbating on my face, humping my bed, couch, walls, pillows, shower etc. sometimes i reach my hand and spread my lips and i'm able to orgasm every time. Lately, i've been trying to masturbate lying on my back and touching my clit, even inserting a finger in but I don't find it as pleasurable as being face down.
I am a 29 year-old African American heterosexual male and I came across your videos on you tube a few months ago and first I want to thank you for all you guys and gals do and your great work.
You are one of my teachers. I've read your whole page. I am a very hard working attractive 25 year old Caribbean woman and I got herpes 1 from a mutually monogamous relationship. He never knew he had it until he got a really bad flu and had broken up with me while being in love with me. His symptoms showed up a few days after. I had always asked my last flings to get tested, I did not ask him out of pure love. I trusted him but at the same time I assume responsibility. I knew before hand he wasn't tested.
Dear Dr. Betty,
my bf is straight so i always thought but we were talking about our biggest secrets and he said about 20 yrs ago he got drunk and high and had sex with a man. Ar first i was freaked out but i never stopped loving him and always stayed supportative he has brought it up a few times but last night he was telling me in details about him and the other guy and was getting himself aroused.
he made hints about wanting saying i would like to him see a man having sex with him? is that a hint that he wants to have a threesome with him and another man? Is he bi? or just really comfortable with his sexuality? He said hes been having wet dreams. idk what any of this means.
Hello Betty! Your work is amazing and a wonderful contribution to people everywhere.
MY PROBLEM: Perhaps you have some insight. Sex seems great until my husband of five years starts thrusting. I feel a mixture of pleasure, but then soon, a growing tearing/burning pain often cuts the sex short.
Dear Dr. Betty,
Huge fan. I've watched every Youtube video, read your biography, and watched the BodySex documentary. Love all of your work! And love you! Your education has meant a lot to me.
Just wondering what you think about the Tao jade egg practices? (An ayurvedic practitioner recommended it on her blog. I just bought one and have noticed a tremendous amount of lubrication. And I'm feeling pretty turned on. I take it out to clean it with tea tree oil sometimes. I haven't tried any of the exercises yet.)
Betty: Lubricating and feeling turned on is your own answer.
What do you think about the Taoists' ideas of having orgasms in different chakras?
Before I start, I apologise for the length of my message.
I am 42. Married for 20 years and counting. I was diagnosed with Leukeamia at the age of 20. (Still fighting the battle.)
I lost my virginity to my husband who is ten years older than I from the UK. Now I'm not blowing/tooting my horn, but he's a skilled lover and spent the first few years of our marriage teaching me. My 'lessons' as he called them.
Took me a long time to accept sex as a good thing. 'Cause I was raised in the South with fanatical religious southern baptists. And all things sexual including masturbation- you name it- was my one way ticket to hell.
My girlfriend and I met the first week of college and have been going out for about half a year now. She is amazing and very giving in bed. She has had her share of sexual partners in the past with a couple of boys and one girl and she tells me that they had never been able to help her reach an orgasm. Only she herself on her own has reached an orgasm. I am also the first person she has had sex with and of course I want to help her feel a great deal of pleasure and help her reach an orgasm.
Hi Dr Betty,
I noticed after orgasm with a woman I get a sense of wanting to be alone. When I orgasm on my own I get a total feeling of disinterest in pursuing a partner with a thought like 'its too much work'. I heard about Post-coital tristesse and it sounded interesting to look into. I'm a 37 year old, single, hetero man.
The thought/attitude bothers me because I feel like I can be charming to get someone and say all the right thing(or try to at least) but then afterwards i lose interest for a short time. I dont want to pursue a woman then hurt her feelings. And sure enough, after a few minutes my mind is back at it, in charming mode with the same woman I happen to be spending time with.
Dear Dr. Betty,
I'm 42 and I can only remember having an orgasm twice with a boyfriend in college. I've been exclusively with women for the last 7 yrs, not that it matters too much. The point is really that I haven't been able to achieve an orgasm with anyone. I've tried mastrbating on and off throughout the years, but I can't seem to teach myself to orgasm that way either. I've watch all kinds of videos and a few of yours as well. When I masterbate or am with a partner, I don't seem to have any sensation in my clitoris. Is this possible?