How Do I Have a Happy Sex Life When I Get Depressed?

Thu, 03/09/2017 - 08:43
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty, first of all I want to say thank you for your work on this site here. It have been interesting coming in here and read about several topics around female masturbation and sex life.

But I was wondering with many people struggling some sort of mental illness like depression and loneliness (the list go on). And how these things do effect sex life and masturbation. It's just a topic I haven't read so much about.

I personally don't use any anti-depresant medicines, but these feelings and moods can really have bad effect on my life (including my masturbation obviously).

I just wonder if you (or maybe any of the readers?) happens to have any good advice how to deal with wanting to have healthy happy sex life with oneself, but feeling like being hindered by feeling so low you almost lose your will to live.

I know you are not a therapist (I personally have one, I am doing what I can there on my other topics of my life). I just wonder what is your take on this tied with sexual health?

Thanks for reading my letter.


Dear J,

From time to time everyone deals with all of those things emotionally. Whenever I feel depressed I'd simply go to my health club and workout. A friend of mine would have depressions where she couldn't get out of a chair. We all must find natural ways to deal with this.

Taking an anti-depressant will only end you ability to have an orgasm and are to be avoided except in extreme cases. Having an orgasm will always improve my mood. Meditation also works. Taking a nap has helped. Fixing a drink at 4 in the afternoon is nice. Calling a friend.

We all find different ways to cope with the blues. I repeat, having an orgasm is always a good antidote to depression.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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I have chronic depression and

Fri, 03/10/2017 - 16:14
Evielynn (not verified)

I have chronic depression and anxiety and smoking weed does wonders to my mood. It has worked better than any other anti depressant I ever tried, and I am never going back to taking those pills ever again! But do what feels right to you.
And as Betty said, orgasms are a great antidote for depression.

anything affecting our state of mind will affect sexual health

Sat, 03/11/2017 - 07:24
bila kolbe

Dear J, You are right, research shows that nowadays people are less happy and having less sex. And yes, there are a lot of factors affecting this dynamic but let's look at depression and mood. I am not promoting a 'one size fits all' approach to depression; however, a common problem lies in our self-talk, our inner dialogue, the way we narrate our lives which ends up being self-deprecating, self-limiting, basically an endless litany of 'I'm bad'-'Yes you are'-I'm no good' etc. In other words, we put ourselves down and find ways to confirm this ultimately landing ourselves in a rut of depression and in many cases a trip to the pharmacy for meds.
Betty offers some good advice in terms of natural ways to counter depression. Working with a therapist can be very helpful especially if the therapy is effectively dealing with the issues behind a depressed state of mind. You mention that your therapy is dealing with other topics of your life not necessarily related to your sexual health; however, my belief is that anything affecting our state of mind will have a profound impact on our sexual practice and health. Money, self-image, career, family, relationship issues can easily throw our libido out of whack. By resolving these issues we can regain emotional balance, self-love, and joy of life.
Being thankful is a powerful means for lifting us out of a depressed state. Having lived overseas and survived through some severe disasters(dengue fever, major earthquake, violent revolution, assault) I make sure I give thanks every day for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. 
I'd like to recommend a couple of books to you with a powerful quote from each one:
Stephen Covey-The 7 habits of highly successful people: "base your life on your decisions not your conditions"
Jane Roberts-The Nature of Personal Reality: "your beliefs are the architects of your experiences"
Be well,

Hi Like Betty has said,

NOWHARD's picture
Tue, 03/21/2017 - 07:52

Hi Like Betty has said, Meditation is your way out and a great way to overcome depression, just google depression and meditation, and if you scroll down you see even the Mayo clinic top rates meditation for depression and a few top doctors, but your find lots of help on there.

But for extra help just find a local group who will be pleased to help you get started, and meditation apart from starting your day with it, can be done at anytime during the day.OK

Do hope you find the help you want for a better sex life either by yourself or with a partner.


Some people need medication.

Thu, 03/30/2017 - 01:01
GuineaTV (not verified)

If you have clinical depression, medication might be what you need, and there's no shame in that. My husband finally was diagnosed after we had been together for almost 20 years. Although he did have more trouble reaching orgasm, he became truly engaged in and enthusiastic about partnersex for the first time in his life.

Happy Sex Life

Sat, 04/15/2017 - 09:16

Well! This is the perfect place from where we can get all of our answers about sex and depression. In most of the occasion, we have found that people are unable to enjoy their sex life just because of depression and anxiety. So they definitely need some help from experts, sex becomes an important part of married life and to get proper satisfaction from our sexual life, we used to follow some ingredients from different sources. The most common problem, I have faced during sex is the ejaculation problems and it reduces my last long performance in bed. So I would like to pick some of the points from this article and hope to get better satisfaction.