Did I Ruin My Clit from Unlubricated Masturbation?

Tue, 03/28/2017 - 08:06
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr. Betty,

I am 21 years old and have never really had a true orgasm. I fear I won't be able to. I discovered I could pleasure myself at an extremely young age. I use to masterbate by lying on my stomach with both my hands in a 'V' like shape on either side of my vagina and hump up and down. I'm worried I have ruined my clit due to improper and unlubricated masturbation.

At first I thought the guys I was sleeping with just weren't good at going down on a girl because I feel almost nothing, but I now think I am just not sensitive down there or I have permanently damaged myself as most girls I know have a much easier time getting off that way. I recently bought a vibrator and I can get clitoral stimulation by using it and it does feel good, but not as good as it should. I often have to close my legs and hump the vibrator while putting a lot of pressure on my clit, as I did my hands as a kid.

Also, I was examining myself in a mirror and my clit looks like a tight piece of skin, like it's enclosed in a piece of skin under the hood (which seems to be small?). Not only am I embarrassed and awkward about my situation, but it's really starting to affect my sex life and my mentality (sometimes I have trouble getting wet or aroused with a partner and I think this may be part of the reason why).

Please help. I'm sick of feeling this way and just want a normal sex life more than anything. There has to be a solution.

Dear C,

The genitals have a marvelous capacity to heal so I doubt that's the problem. "As a woman thinketh, so shall she be." I suggest you STOP viewing yourself as permanently damaged and change your method of masturbation. This will take time and patience. There is no such thing as a "true orgasm" so stop holding that image. And very few women can orgasm from partner sex that relies on just vaginal penetration.

Also stop or reduce the pressure you apply to orgasm. That means you will have to go without for a while. And think about engaging your mind with sexual thoughts, ideas to discover what turns you on. Go inside the website and read what's been posted about doing it on your stomach with a lot of pressure. There is an extension discussion on this subject. You are NOT permanently damaged.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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I never had an orgasm

Fri, 03/31/2017 - 05:42
Inexperienced (not verified)

I'm 30 years old & I've never had an orgasm. I didn't even realize I never had an orgasm until I was in my 20's & started discussing sexuality encounters with friends. I quickly realized what we all experience was not the same. Well what I experienced wasn't the same as them. Especially when I discovered women can ejaculated. I quickly felt like I've been missing something my entire life. Especially when my friends asked if I've ever ejaculated during masturbation & I said no. They all look at me & talk to me like I'm crazy & something is wrong with me.  I have no  clue how to get myself there & I've never had a partner get me there either. I always thought it was about enjoying getting the man there. I never knew a women could enjoy sex the way they can. I've spent years trying to figure it out ever since. Still no luck. Any advice? 

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