Dealing with Extreme Vaginal Pain & My Clitoris Feels Dead

Wed, 02/08/2017 - 09:07
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi betty or Carlin or just anyone who could help,

I'm suffering!!!

I wrote you before when I first got diagnosed with my vaginal prolapse. and I just wanted to say thank you for the help, but im still so alone and lost. and that wasnt even part of my stupid problems it was just a bump on my horribly paved road. more and more problems keep stacking up and Im in pain and suffering to the point where I dont want to even know what to do. I just feel destroyed and broken. I could really just use some kind of help.

I'm only 24, and I live in an area when anything medical dealing with the vagina is kind of just laughed about and not taken seriously. I have been to almost all the ob doctors in town, urologists, chiropractors and even one doctor 6 hours away that was just a dermatologist.

I was told my prolapse was not serious by my general doctor and the urologist and pelvic floor therapy could help it until I am older, then we will start discussing surgery. but they cant help me with any of my other symptoms. and they look at me like im some kind of a mental patient when i sob in their office. Ive even read one of my doctors reports and my heart broke because I felt like my nurse mocked me and didn’t take it serious in the notes.

my symptoms started nearly 6 months ago now and have only gotten worse. I don’t think there is a cure either. It took a while to first catch it and decide I needed professional help and it took guts to go in and get it but I’ve lost absolutely all feel good sexual feeling. My clitoris just feels dead. I cant feel a tickle pressure or anything at all. Im going on 6 months of this and im struggling. Google had me afraid I wont ever find a cure. Ive found women on there who experienced what I am and it sounds like they never healed or found a cure either. And this is bad to admit but I just cant see myself going on with this if its life long. I feel like I am damaged goods, I get jealous even just talking to my mother or grandmother ( who are in their 50s and 70s and still enjoying wonderful sex ) and I just HATE myself right now no matter what I do or try.

It wasn’t always like this and it just gradually got worse over time. It started, 11 months ago I had my 2nd child and i seemed to snap back quickly, sex was fun with my husband and even though i was tired and a little depressed I felt good doing it and it was a wonderful stress reliever. Around the time she was 4 months old i noticed a decrease in vaginal and clitoral sensitivity and i didn't think anything of it, or that i would ever get to this point. I just turned up the vibration on my favorite toy and had at it. until one day I lost all the feeling. at first i thought maybe I over stimulated myself. A few days went on and nothing... now months have gone on and still no feeling in my clitoris what so ever. I first went to the doctor and did blood tests and at 1st it came back low testosterone, so i was referred back to my ob but he said they didnt have anything to treat it that was fda approved and i was put on an anti depressant and estrogen cream. I used both and still got nothing besides an extremely wet feeling.

He also sent me to pelvic floor therapy because I jumped off the table and cried during an exam and wouldn’t let him use a speculum it just hurt so bad!!! My Pt told me my muscles down there were tight and spasming so I religiously am going to pf therapy. Then while doing therapy I got a horrible yeast infection so I had to take a break for about a week. I went to the oncall OB doctor, balling, told him everything I was going through, then he broke my heart even worse and told me it could be lichen sclerosus: he didn’t biopsy it,or look down there and I was given a clibatosol cream that upset me even more and a diflucan pill.

When I went home I was appalled to think I have a horrible disease and could be in so much pain so I grabed a mirror and took a look down there and oddly found a weird bulge under my urethra that I know wasn’t there last time I looked ( when I had my stitches from labor ) I called up my regular doctor, went in and it was mild prolapse and the diflucan still didn’t take away my yeast infection. She told me to stay in my therapy and it would help and she didn’t think it needed surgery yet. I was also still burning and so uncomfortable my skin was cracking and bleeding at this point. It hurt to sit!

So my pt pushed me to find a dermatologist. I called insurance and they sent me to a doctor 6 hours away to have it looked at, she told me no it wasn’t Lichen Sclerosis, and i needed to try a biote hormone replacement therapy. My biggest thing is Ive had the run around, im sore and don’t even feel like ill ever be sexual again and she says this just might help everything, but is it to good to be true? Ive been through hell and back with this and I almost feel like ive given up hope.

Ive been tested for everything, poked with needles , had x rays, ct scans,mris, chemicals pumped into my system, tried creams pills and almost everything to try to feel better. And nothing has helped.

Ive also done yoga, kegals, stretching, elimination diets and religiously stuck to therapy, 3 times a week. Its been nearly 6 months and nothings changed besides now I have thousands or dollars in doctors bills and ive lost hope.

I feel alone. I know this sound dramatic because when i tried telling my doctor about it i was told i was just being “dramatic” and its ok if I never get feeling back but I just feel like I lost a huge part of who I was and a huge part of my relationship. losing this has just killed me inside and i am just so lost i cant imagine going on for years or the rest of my life like this.

Please, what can I do to bring myself back. can you recommend doctors who might know how to deal with complete clitoral loss or anything Im going through? Have you ever heard of anyone completely losing feeling there? I don’t feel normal at all but is there hope for this situation? I'm so sorry if this doesnt make since but i just cant keep it together anymore, even while writing this. what do i do?

Dear C, What you can do is get away from doctors and the medical establishment. STOP. Every time you see another specialist, you get another problem from some stupid medication and no solution. I repeat STOP IT!

At 24 you have two children and have been married how long? Now they have given you estrogen and put you on anti depressants when your testosterone was low. The antidepressant alone is a problem as it is known to inhibit orgasm. First lets look at how you use your vibrator. You cannot bear down to get more feeling as it simply numbs out the clitoris. Did you use any lubrication? Start with a nice vulva massage with an organic massage oil? Did you have a fantasy in mind?. Some quiet time to masturbate? Where the hell is your husband in all of this? What kind of support are you getting from him?

Have your Mom and Grandmother look after your children and you take a week off to some yoga retreat where you can meditate and be quiet. Simple diet. No meds. Rest. Pull yourself together. Forget about your damn clitoris thinking that it's dead. No sex and no masturbation. You're using sex to torture yourself. Become a celibate priestess for a week or two.

Tight pelvic floor muscles can be corrected. A prolapsed uterus can also be dealt with quite easily. But your mental state of utter despair only you can correct. You cannot go into a doctors office and bawl your eyes out and expect them to under stand what you are feeling. First of all, doctors rarely know anything about sex. It's not part of their training. The pelvic floor therapists can help. Also get a woman friend you can talk to, and again I ask, where is your husband in all of this? And stop being so dramatic! You could use a girlfriend or two. But no more doctors or meds. OK?

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Just say no to pelvic floor therapy

Wed, 02/08/2017 - 19:07
Anonymouse (not verified)

Check out the forum at Dr Christine Kent's website She's done research on the female hips and pelvis. She has wonderful postural changes to recommend for prolapse. Doing Kegels is not the answer to prolapse. The vagina is self-healing and she will agree with Dr Betty that less medications are better.

Hello C. I will try to help

Thu, 02/09/2017 - 02:44
Lucetta (not verified)

Hello C. I will try to help you with your symptoms of pain in the vulva and associated clitoral issues.
From your description, it sounds like you have developed vulvodynia, which is hypersensitivity and pain in the vulva. A main cause of this problem is inappropriate use of antifungal treatments. Such treatments are made from very powerful chemicals and really should not be applied to the delicate vulva. There are other ways to treat yeast infection without such creams, but unfortunately doctors reach for what they think is an easy solution.
Due to use of such creams, I suffered vulvodynia for 15 years. It can be extremely painful and distressing. I did, however, find a gynaecologist who specialised in dermatology and he did help me very much.
The first thing to do is to not apply anything to the vulva apart from a once daily wash with mildly salty water. Do not apply any soap to the vulva. This should allow your own body to start dealing with the inflammation. There will be no overnight cure but you should start to see some relief after a couple of weeks. I also used to take an antihistamine tablet to help with the allergic aspect of the inflammation.
You may also find that the pain waxes and wanes during your menstrual cycle. If you find this is an aspect of your problem, then your body is giving you a hint that the menstrual cycle is contributing to your pain.
I found this to be my problem and my gynaecologist suggested that we could try long-acting contraceptives to stop my menstrual cycle and see if this helped. At the time, I thought it seemed too drastic to stop my menstrual cycle, but in retrospect, I think I should have tried it. As I arrived in my late 40s, and my hormonal fluctuations decreased, so did the pain in my vulva and eventually almost disappeared at the menopause. I am now on continuous HRT at 52 and have little residual pain in the vulva.
In regard to the clitoral issues, I had no pleasure in the vulva or external clitoris while suffering vulvodynia, but had pleasure in the internal clitoral area. So I would focus on that. I developed techniques to stimulate the internal clitoris, the elusive G Spot and areas of the genitals not affected by inflammation in the external vulva and clitoris.  So I still had orgasms despite the pain in the vulva.
In regard to your partner, I think he needs to understand that you probably should be giving penetration a miss for a while as the area of the vulva adjacent the opening to the vagina can be extremely sensitive. Teach your partner how to use his hands to pleasure you in gentle ways, and perhaps focus on other areas such as the breasts. When you do try penetration again, try the woman on top position so you can open up your vagina and take his penis straight in, controlling the extent of the penetration.
I guarantee that there is a light at the end of the tunnel for you and your pain problems. Hang in there and try some of my suggestions.

Dealing with EXTEME vaginal pain.

Thu, 02/09/2017 - 08:11
Ken Anselm


My wife has just completed treatment from a Dr. Cherie LeFevre in St. Louis
(314-977-7455).  Dr. LeFevre's practice deals only with problems of the
vulva.  My wife's story is very similar to yours.  She was also
diagnosed from a biopsy as having Lichen's Sclerosis.  We were unable
to have sex because of her pain.  Within 6 weeks Dr. LeFevre had her pain
reduced to a point we could start having sex again.  In my wife’s case Dr.
LeFevre used an all out assault on allergens of anytime, anywhere anyhow. 
Nothing but cotton underwear, no soaps with any scents, nothing but natural
oils (such as almond oil), no fancy toilet paper with scents.  She also
gave her medications for a yeast infection, just in case.

Similar to your story, my wife had been to every OBGYN in the area, none of
them seemed to know what they were doing although they all gave her more
medicines.  Dr. LeFevre said they were all wrong, stop doing everything
they are telling you.  We both were in tears after Dr. LeFevre examined my
wife and said I don't think you have Lichen's Sclerosis, she gave us HOPE and
low and behold she was correct.  And to top it off, she recommended Crisco
twice a day in the vagina to keep it lubricated.  Who would have guessed
Crisco, but it worked.  Keep in mind my wife is 66 years young and of
course post-menopausal. 

Dr. LeFevre also told us of some real horror stories of women who did not take
care of their problem.  My advice to you is to get to a doctor who specializes
in treating problems of the Vulva, not a OBGYN there is a difference between
the two types of practices.

Good Luck!