I’ve been designing my end game as anyone who has followed my blog knows. You would be surprised how many respond with an image of eternal life and I’m being rather morbid to speak of it ending. Yet it does. As I’ve designed how I have sex how could I not design my death? I consider the true measure of a person’s success is how they end up in old age.
I remember Mother did not want to end up in a nursing home where her oldest sister was. For the last 12 years of Aunt Mae’s life she was in a wheelchair with cancer slowly eating away her upper lip. All she wanted to eat was the desserts they served as she craved sugar to feed her cancer. It was a slow boring death with just my Mother visiting her once a month.
When I went home to Wichita every summer, I’d make the trip to the small town where the nursing home was located. It was a thirty minute drive Mother made every other month. Sometimes one of my brothers would go with her. The time I went, Aunt Mae wanted to know who was the little boy as she saw my short hair, jeans and boots. Mother said, “It’s Betty Anne whose been living in New York.” But Aunt Mae never figured out who the little boy was. She existed like that for 12 years. When I told Mother to just stop going, Mae would probably die faster. But she said she didn’t have the heart not to go.
Mother lived her death in her little house that I fixed up according to her wishes. I was with her during her final two summer months. It’s the best chapter in my entire memoir titled “Heart of My Heart.” The title is from an old Barbershop Quartet song she used to sing with my Dad or anyone she could get to take the lead. I was pretty good at holding the lead while she sang the tenor in close harmony. How she loved to sing!
For the past several years when it comes to old age, I’ve been saying I’m going for a hundred, but here at eighty- seven I’ve changed that to ninety. According to how I feel then, I’ll pick another number because old age is not all that great. And I’ve got it good! Health wise, the only thing I have to deal with is high blood pressure for which I am taking my first med – Edarbyclor. I just found out from Eric my protégé who is now a health fanatic and teaching me, that Dr. Mercola has a grape seed supplement for this. I’m going to switch for a few months and watch the numbers. Let’s see if I can avoid Big Pharma a bit longer.
What I’m thankful for besides good health is my apartment. I’m in an old brick building that’s got 13 stories, so you know it was built before that number became spooky. My rooms are big and there are windows everywhere. Two in the foyer which is a narrow 20 foot long room and four windows in the 20 by 22 foot living room where Bodysex Groups can form the perfect big circle and its carpeted throughout except in the kitchen and bath.
The back room is my combo office and bed. It’s also where I do most of my socializing. There are three big red Freedom chairs that practically make love to you when you sink into one. They go up, down, arms raise up or down with leather padded arm rests. Lean back all the way, she’ll hold you, don’t worry ALL the way back. Stretch and take a deep breathe. Keep breathing. Now raise your arms all the way back, stretch, even more. Feel the small of your back, next your spine up to your head. Bring it forward and let your head fall to the right, full stretch…more. Yes, that’s it. Now go to the other side. Back again. Adjusting the height is important. Every one is built differently and no one sits higher than the Queen….that’s me.The table is my old drawing board made level that sits on a pedestal. Again adjustable.
Sit up Straight….that’s it. That curve is your lumbar spine, the small of your back. It’s like the neck that has to deal with directing traffic from the brain to the body. Your spine is holding you up comfortably by negotiating the top with the bottom ….the ribs and the pelvis. Now let your shoulders drop. Even more. Deep breath. Good! Soften the lighting, have a candle burning. Take a sip of champagne, a toke of pot, some Persian bread with babaganoosh. It’s all good.
Money wise, I don’t have to budget or worry if I’ll have enough to pay the bills. I keep a thousand dollars cash in my drawer. I have a jar of twenty dollar bills in groups of five to make one hundreds. And that’s my walking around money. Plus I have a debt free credit card with thousands of dollars always available. That’s rich baby, rich! I’ve pretty much gotten over my desire to buy clothes but I’m not comfortable with what I have. So what? More important: what’s my next creative project? I need more than one, just like having more than one lover for different moods. Like more than one dildo or fantasy for orgasms from masturbation. Different everything until I get hooked. Then it’s every day, every minute of every day after day after day. Glorious obsession! I long for my next one.
I loved my exchange with Carlin New Year’s eve. I texted her; “Thanks for being our Mom at D&R. You complete Bodysex.” Her text back; “We are reaping the fruits of your labors with Bodysex.”
We agree: Bodysex is the next wave of feminism based on sexual pleasure and orgasms that works for all genders. Orgasmic women will teach other women and they in turn will teach their men what they have learned. Sister tells sister, tells mother, tells boyfriend and lover and so the sex information spreads. It’s physical and sexual consciousness raising, a contemporary use of CR groups which was feminism's consciousness raising of the sixties and seventies to spread the information about the women’s movement.
Our message to counter porn is “Guys! We don’t come from your penis. Although it’s a nice addition, the penis alone rarely gets us off.” The size or the girth or how the testicles hang or how long you can stay hard and thrust just doesn’t matter. The only problem is the premature ejaculator which can be cured with the practice of conscious masturbation. Just like girls orgasms come from the clitoris and she learns that with her own conscious masturbation.
It’s got to be a relief for both guys and gals to hear that the dick alone just won’t get the job done for womankind. They can stop worrying if their penis is normal, too small, too big, wrong color, not hard enough or funny shaped. It’s yours so just love it, play with it, fuck with it, impregnate your lover with it when you’re ready to have children and raise a family.
Girls can stop struggling trying to have vaginal orgasms or think there’s something wrong with their vulvas or they have too small a clitoris. Both boys and girls will understand that masturbation is the foundation for all sexuality. It’s our first natural sexual activity. It’s how we discover our genitals and the pleasure they give us. And if we are smart, it will be our final activity in old age. Just ask me, your feminist sexologist, Dr. Betty.
Happy Independent Orgasms throughout the New Year!