Am I a Lesbian or Bisexual?

Sun, 01/08/2017 - 07:54
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty,

I am 17 years old and I'm in a relationship with my girlfriend, although I've always been in romantic relationships with boys, until now. One thing I know for sure is I've always been attracted to women (I've always fantisized about girls bodies) but I don't know if I'm attracted to boys at all: I've never had a sexual experience, encounter or relationship with a man (not because I don't want to, I just haven't had the opportunity) and I think penises are gross and they scare me.

I've read this is normal since I've never had sex with a man and when the time comes I'll get used to it. I'm desperate to know my sexuality because I don't know what to tell people when they ask me and want to label me.

Dear J,

Until you have tried sex with several men and more women you can just tell people that you are shopping around to discover your sexuality. I enjoyed all of them and took on all the labels until I decided I was simply sexual. Just enjoy yourself. You have a lifetime ahead of you.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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No need to decide and constrain yourself

martiB's picture
Sun, 01/08/2017 - 13:29

I hope you'll allow me to put in my 2 cents. Though I'm an older woman now, I'm told that's when you turn 40, I too fretted about that for years as I enjoyed relationships with many men and women. It was an artificial self-imposed pressure driving me to constantly question myself and distracted from me just relaxing and enjoying myself and my partner at the time.
We are fortunately at a golden time in sexual history where we need not categorize ourselves as that does not add value and only restricts ourselves from our journey of self discovery we should all pursue and enjoy. 

Like life itself, to be truely happy and satisfied, we should strive to enjoy the journey not just the destination since life itself is a journey and so the final destination aint all that appealing once we get there ;o)

As Dr. Betty suggests, give yourself permission to date and explore as many men and women as you may find an attraction to.  Discover your pleasures and what brings you to orgasm and then focus on them, nurturing and developing your orgasm along the way. It's wonderful you are beginning your journey young. I wish I had.

Martha B