Almost 50 & Preorgasmic

Wed, 01/18/2017 - 08:02
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

I am nearing 50 and unable to fully orgasm, if I am at all. I have been using a hitachi magic wand which I have to cram into my clitoris in order to feel some kind of build up, which then has some kind of end to it. It is nothing like what other people have described to me. I feel nothing when I use my hand. Never have. I am not comfortable with men going down on me because oddly, it feels too sensitive or just uncomfortable. So is it possible that I simply have a clitoris that feels very little? I'm far more excited by penetration and so I wonder if my nerves are concentrated in my vagina more than in my clit.

And please, WHY is there not a title in your topic section for women like me who have great difficulty or cannot orgasm??? I have been trying for years so "how to orgasm" or "how to enhance your orgasms" do not entice readers who are deeply sad or feel sexually crippled like I do. I'm angry at my body and I'm scared to search for G-spot pleasure because this is my last hope. Can you imagine what this feels like? Thank you.

Dear L, OK I will try to chose a title and pick the best parts of HOW TO ORGASM For all my CRIPPLED readers. How many time and ways can I say the same thing over and over again? This will take some special effort on my part, but I'll try to pull out the best I've offered so far.

But first, I can tell you that your anger toward your body makes you a terrible lover for you! Instead of "cramming the vibrator into your delicate clitoris" STOP!
You simply cannot be that angry with your body and expect it to give you any pleasure.

You have to first do some mirror work. Look into a full length mirror and find one thing about your body you like or vaguely approve of. Any thing at all that you can appreciate. I suggest you use candle light or soft electric lights. Not the harsh glaring lights in department store dressing rooms with those awful from all sides mirrors.

Every day do your mirror exercise to overcome a good part of your anger toward your body. Poor body! You've been beating it up wondering why it won't give you any pleasure. Just one thing you like. Appreciate it and say "Gratitude" for it.

Get a professional massage
Do a spa day
Go for a walk
Smoke a joint
Listen to your favorite music
Learn to love your body

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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Almost 50 & Preorgasmic

Thu, 01/19/2017 - 14:49
Lady in Devon (not verified)

Please be very, very kind to yourself. 
I was 63 when I first had an at 65 I have full bodied...mind blowing ones!!
But it has taken time and patience. First I saw a sex therapist and so slowly started to understand my body. So many repressions about masturbation and just sex in general...I still stuggle to relax with myself and enjoy my body.
I have a wonderful lover who has ED and just wants to satisfy me and my arse is starting to play an important part in our love-making...thats where the mind-blowing orgasms start
Please dont give up....I never thought I would or could orgasm...just remember they start very slowly.....just a feeling of a wave of pleasure...the earth wont move.
You aren't sexually crippled, you are just sleeping and I hope you can awaken yourself
Take care


Thu, 01/19/2017 - 15:24
RS (not verified)

Hello L
Please take Dr Betty's advice. I was angry with my body for a long time blaming it for not working when my body was not the problem my mind. Put on the soft lights, look at yourself and I will garuntee you will see something you like. If you can't bear to be totally naked the first time, do what I did and put on some underwear you like. Your body is amazing and it can make you feel amazing- just love it and it will happen. I nearly always masturbate in front of a mirror now - nothing like it.

We're not all mental

Thu, 07/06/2017 - 14:49
Elizabeth Bona (not verified)

So Betty you just give bull shit answers! You never answered the woman who can't orgasm and when you do answer it's the same old answer that doesn't work. Some women don't orgasm and they don't  have any mental or physical problems and nothing works, but you don't accept that.
Magic wands don't work lleither.

For what it's worth...

Sat, 07/08/2017 - 02:11

I'm 65, and I recently had the enormous pleasure of helping a friend (she's 67) discover her inner sexual self, by telephone. I've never met the lady - we just met online and somehow clicked.

To be fair she had experienced a single orgasm, decades ago. Having now discovered herself, she was able to release the orgasmic beast within. She said "what have you done to me, I can't leave my pussy alone"! How wonderful is that?

So, good luck and remember it's never too late!