I am a 31 year old woman that has never had an orgasm...I think. I joined the military at 18 and was too busy to really explore my body and I also would regularly be intoxicated if I did have sex with male partners. At 21 I came out and started to sleep with women but mainly would touch them and not spend much time on myself. During these times I also deployed to Iraq twice for 12 month deployments where I slept in tents with 30+ people and was unable to masturbate. I always assumed the orgasm would come later on when I had time. Basically, I didn't make it a priority then.
During my second deployment an rpg landed next to me and I suffered the affects of the blast waves hitting my body creating chronic migraines and widespread nerve pain. That was in 2009. I then spent many years on pain killers and booze to cope with the pain and after effects of a war zone. I was still sexually active but masturbation and orgasm was not my concern. Now here I am at 31 and finally ready to achieve that release. I do not take pain killers, nor do I drink anymore. I have a wonderful girlfriend who encourages me to explore and I have been practicing non stop solo and with my girlfriend. I have zero hang ups about my body and I am not sexually shy.
My main frustration is trying to have a release. I masturbate for hours and it's just always on the edge. Am I not capable due to the nerve damage I suffered overseas? I want to say "no" as sex and masturbation is very pleasurable but being "on the edge" constantly is leaving me to think I am defective. Betty, I have read your books and I keep practicing! What else should I do? Please help!
Congratulations on being a survivor who is now off meds and booze. Chances are you've had orgasms but were unable to identify them. Our bodies will continue to respond to clitoral stimulation as long as we continue. Women are bottomless pit of staying aroused as long as clitty is kept entertained.
One suggestion would be to smoke pot that will quiet your mind and allow you to feel more in your body. It's the only aphrodisiac that I recommend. If this might interfere with your sobriety then reconsider.