Before I start, I apologise for the length of my message.
I am 42. Married for 20 years and counting. I was diagnosed with Leukeamia at the age of 20. (Still fighting the battle.)
I lost my virginity to my husband who is ten years older than I from the UK. Now I'm not blowing/tooting my horn, but he's a skilled lover and spent the first few years of our marriage teaching me. My 'lessons' as he called them.
Took me a long time to accept sex as a good thing. 'Cause I was raised in the South with fanatical religious southern baptists. And all things sexual including masturbation- you name it- was my one way ticket to hell.
Also coming from a back ground of mental abuse from my stepfather, my poor Michael had his work cut out for him. But eventually he got there in the end.
Now that you know some of my history, maybe you can help me.
My husband was diagnosed with a sever bowel disease back in 2008. Having to deal with extreme pain, our sex life pretty much came to a screeching halt after 2012. As of today, it's been nearly 4 years since we made love or touched one another sexually. It's difficult for us as we've always been open about our love. Sneaking deep kisses when the kids leave the room or outside playing. Touching foreheads and holding hands etc.
We talk about the past alot because my husband nearly died last year and has lost 85% of his memory. It's slowly coming back.
I'm finding I want to make love to him all the time, but I know I can't. Because of his pain. I tried masturbation, but I don't enjoy it. I can't understand why. I've used vibrators, I've watched porn... nothing seems to bring any satisfaction. I feel like I'm loosing my marbles.
If you could give some insight. Perhaps I've asked too much of you. I don't know who to turn to. Friends and family don't understand the bond that we have. We've never been apart except for when we've had to stay in the hospital.
Do you think I'm doomed?
Thank you for listening.
Well, you have certainly been tested for patience and commitment. From all that you've shared, I would recommend cannabis for both of you. If you don't feel comfortable "scoring" then consider getting medical marijuana that is available in NJ. Soon to be in NYC also. It's the best for pain management and at the other end of the scale for pleasure enhancement. So I say it would serve both of your needs.
As a senior heading for 90 in a couple of years, I have never taken any meds prescribed by a doctor (other than when I had hip replacement and a denture). Pot has been my medicine throughout my long healthy life. Let me know how great it is after you've taken advantage of this healing plant. I have no reservation about recommending marijuana.