After I Orgasm I Want to be Alone

Mon, 07/18/2016 - 07:22
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Dr Betty,

I noticed after orgasm with a woman I get a sense of wanting to be alone. When I orgasm on my own I get a total feeling of disinterest in pursuing a partner with a thought like 'its too much work'. I heard about Post-coital tristesse and it sounded interesting to look into. I'm a 37 year old, single, hetero man.

The thought/attitude bothers me because I feel like I can be charming to get someone and say all the right thing(or try to at least) but then afterwards i lose interest for a short time. I dont want to pursue a woman then hurt her feelings. And sure enough, after a few minutes my mind is back at it, in charming mode with the same woman I happen to be spending time with.

It feels like i'm being dishonest when i'm horny and charming but then when we finish i want solitude. I like being alone. What do you make of all this? thanks in advance for the help and all the online content.

Dear B,

Your desire to be alone after fucking is quite understandable. Some men simply doze off for a short nap. This has been explained as a natural phenomenon to recoup lost semen, or something like that. Don't overthink a natural response.

As for "Post-coital tristesse" it just means "sadness" maybe that's because you shot your load and must wait a while before you can go again. Lighten up Darling. Sounds to me like you're a considerate nice man.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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I think there is more to this

Sun, 08/14/2016 - 05:14

I think there is more to this and it could be very important for some relationships. Do try Cupid's Poisoned Arrow by Marnia Robinson. We have always assumed that orgasm is unequivocally good but the picture may be much more complex!!!

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