Hey Dr. Betty,
Ever since I was around 12 I grew up being shamed, humiliated and talked down to for having a small dick. Sounds stupid but from always being told I'm worthless and pathetic from a very impressionable age it made me really devalue myself a lot growing up and feel ashamed of my body. I felt like nothing but a freak deep down after a few years. I would even hear the females in my family laughing about how a grown man with a small penis is not really a man and is funny as hell. I was too embarrassed to ever talk to anyone about it.
I think about first girl I ever thought I loved and deeply cared about too much. I felt so strongly about her it point where I would have died for her to keep her safe and that she was just an awesome person. She just really emasculated me and didn't think much of doing it and basically just threw me away after laughing at my dick saying we could still be friends. All this did is really, really confirm everything else to a scorching degree I guess.
I don't hold anything against her but I didn't even feel like a person anymore and felt numb and empty.
This basically ended up with repressing sexuality and need for love (other stuff contributed to that too). Pretty much I just didn't feel like I deserve it. I really, really hated myself and felt completely worthless. Then eventually there were drugs, self injury and a suicide attempt but that was kind of in the works anyway from other stuff like clinical depression
I have absolute respect for women's preferences and everyone has a right to one of course. I'm not one of those really insecure dudes looking to hear size doesn't matter and all that feel good bullshit. I know a lot of this is just Darwins theory of sexual selection.
I know no matter what though I will always be less but I don't want to feel ashamed, worthless, and unlovable anymore and I want to make a girl happy someday and feel good. Can you please tell me some stuff?
It always helps me to know my questioners age. In your case I'll assume late teens or early twenties. Your penis size concerns are now becoming a problem for many guys thanks to porn. The male actors are chosen for the size of their dicks and ability to stay hard. Now that we have erection drugs, it's mostly about size for visual affects. However if you ask most women, they'll say they prefer medium sized penises.
I assume you know the average penis is around 5 to 6 inches erect. The big ones go from 7 to 9 inches. I once had sex with a man who had a 10 inch penis and I made it clear I was only interested in the first 6 inches because.. It's no fun to always be defense to avoid pain. We used positions where I could control the depth of thrusting. My longest term best lover had a 5.5 inch penis that could stay hard for ages with a firm penis. Some of those big boys have floppy hardons.
All that said, you must realize that most women do NOT orgasm in penis/vagina sex because it doesn't engage the clitoris which is our primary pleasure organ. So large or small penis dudes are smart to develop their manual, oral and verbal skills besides preparing for a lucrative profession. Most important would be to learn about female sexuality that is quite different from what you;ve see in porn.
Most gals are more interested in the size of a man's wallet than his penis. Can he be a consistent provider to guarantee a good future for her family. I'd also say intelligence figures in and many of us prize a man with a good sense of humor who can express himself. So it's time for you to start thinking above and beyond the size of your dick. As my friend says, its not the size of the fish but the motion of the ocean. Start loving yourself with consistent happy orgasms and plan for a happy successful life.