Feel Ashamed & Worthless Because of My Small Penis Size

Wed, 05/04/2016 - 08:37
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hey Dr. Betty,

Ever since I was around 12 I grew up being shamed, humiliated and talked down to for having a small dick. Sounds stupid but from always being told I'm worthless and pathetic from a very impressionable age it made me really devalue myself a lot growing up and feel ashamed of my body. I felt like nothing but a freak deep down after a few years. I would even hear the females in my family laughing about how a grown man with a small penis is not really a man and is funny as hell. I was too embarrassed to ever talk to anyone about it.

I think about first girl I ever thought I loved and deeply cared about too much. I felt so strongly about her it point where I would have died for her to keep her safe and that she was just an awesome person. She just really emasculated me and didn't think much of doing it and basically just threw me away after laughing at my dick saying we could still be friends. All this did is really, really confirm everything else to a scorching degree I guess.

I don't hold anything against her but I didn't even feel like a person anymore and felt numb and empty.

This basically ended up with repressing sexuality and need for love (other stuff contributed to that too). Pretty much I just didn't feel like I deserve it. I really, really hated myself and felt completely worthless. Then eventually there were drugs, self injury and a suicide attempt but that was kind of in the works anyway from other stuff like clinical depression

I have absolute respect for women's preferences and everyone has a right to one of course. I'm not one of those really insecure dudes looking to hear size doesn't matter and all that feel good bullshit. I know a lot of this is just Darwins theory of sexual selection.

I know no matter what though I will always be less but I don't want to feel ashamed, worthless, and unlovable anymore and I want to make a girl happy someday and feel good. Can you please tell me some stuff?

Dear A,

It always helps me to know my questioners age. In your case I'll assume late teens or early twenties. Your penis size concerns are now becoming a problem for many guys thanks to porn. The male actors are chosen for the size of their dicks and ability to stay hard. Now that we have erection drugs, it's mostly about size for visual affects. However if you ask most women, they'll say they prefer medium sized penises.

I assume you know the average penis is around 5 to 6 inches erect. The big ones go from 7 to 9 inches. I once had sex with a man who had a 10 inch penis and I made it clear I was only interested in the first 6 inches because.. It's no fun to always be defense to avoid pain. We used positions where I could control the depth of thrusting. My longest term best lover had a 5.5 inch penis that could stay hard for ages with a firm penis. Some of those big boys have floppy hardons.

All that said, you must realize that most women do NOT orgasm in penis/vagina sex because it doesn't engage the clitoris which is our primary pleasure organ. So large or small penis dudes are smart to develop their manual, oral and verbal skills besides preparing for a lucrative profession. Most important would be to learn about female sexuality that is quite different from what you;ve see in porn.

Most gals are more interested in the size of a man's wallet than his penis. Can he be a consistent provider to guarantee a good future for her family. I'd also say intelligence figures in and many of us prize a man with a good sense of humor who can express himself. So it's time for you to start thinking above and beyond the size of your dick. As my friend says, its not the size of the fish but the motion of the ocean. Start loving yourself with consistent happy orgasms and plan for a happy successful life.

Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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The juxtaposition of this

Wed, 05/04/2016 - 16:21
FA (not verified)

The juxtaposition of this response and the previous post is odd.  Apparently, it is okay to shame men over the size of their penis if you disagree with them politically.  Confused.

poor guy

Wed, 05/04/2016 - 19:35
Sarah8 (not verified)

poor guy
the constant rejection must worsen the depression,,,, dunno... what can you say?

Small Penis, No Big Deal..

Sat, 05/07/2016 - 10:40
A2016 (not verified)

Hello A,

First off I want to say that all those people that made fun of you was probably because they were insecure themselves. Women have to worry about smallness also, in the size of the their breast as well as the perfectness of our area down below.
Secondly, dude, don't let your penis stop you! Like Dr. Betty said, most guys are 5-6 inches, personally my husband is a little short of 5 and I LOVE having sex with him!!! It's the best sex of my life and we've been at it for 5 years, very regularly. Don't give the women a chance to focus on your penis, when you have a great tongue that can do the talking for you. Honestly, what puts me over the edge most of the time with him is his love for my clitoris and the taste of me. Work out your skills and make girls dream about having you go down on her. To be honest, 95% of the time I wish he went down on me instead of having him penetrate. I like most women, don't get off on just regular intercourse but instead the stimulation of my clitoris. And We LOVE 69. Plus trust me, a girl will appreciate not having your cock cut off her breathing because it goes to the back of her throat. Me personally I why I enjoy giving my husband blow jobs. His smaller penis makes it bearable and much more enjoyable. And trust me I've been with a 10 inch guy, a 7, and a 4.5 and the smaller is by far my favorite!
Keep your head up!!! Believe that you're great and you will be great!!!! Good luck!

Work on re-opening yourself

Sat, 05/07/2016 - 11:58
anotherhulk (not verified)

I don't have a big dick either. In fact, with my wieght gain over the years, I don't even think I qualify for Betty defination of normal up there. I have a small dick.
[= 12.8px]But I've found love and I've had great sex. With lots of women too. I'm not bragging. I'm trying to tell you that you have this opportunity as well.[/]
[= 12.8px]Shame, depression, humilation-- these feelings you've had a very real problems and I don't want to sound like they are insurmountable. But it's possible. You need to open yourself back up to love, sex, and attraction. There might be a woman in your life, right now, who likes you. You is fascinated by you. Who thinks about what your dick tastes like.[/]
[= 12.8px]You don't see it because you think you are unworthy. Undeserving.[/]
[= 12.8px]I don't know you, but you are probably not. You read Dodson and Ross-- how could you be?! :)[/]
[= 12.8px]Open yourself back up to love. Attraction is so much more than physical and frankly, a dick is the last thing most women will see of you. Open yourself up to being loved. The dick stuff you'll figure out later. [/]
[= 12.8px]Your anger and shame will only grow if you let it. You don't have to. And no one is going to be able to shut that off but you. [/]

Size is definitely not everything.

Sat, 05/07/2016 - 19:29
Vic22801 (not verified)

I have recently found a new partner, and he has the smallest penis of any man I've ever been with (I'm 45).  This is not a problem as he has an excellent tongue AND his small size has allowed us other sexual options.  With previous larger penises I couldn't do doggie-style because it hurt too much.  Now it's not a problem, hooray!  His smaller size has also gotten me very much into anal sex, because it's not painful at all since he's smaller.
My husband, who I've recently divorced, had the biggest dick I've ever met - and no idea what to do in bed.  It was sort of horrible.
Stop watching porn.  Read more Dodson and Ross.  Become a great lover and have fun in bed.  Size really means very little.  There are so many fun things to do!