Is Being Self Sexual a Legitimate & "Okay" Way To Be?

Mon, 05/16/2016 - 07:36
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I LOVE your YouTube videos!

I'm 47 years old and you answer all the questions no one else ever did - thank you! My question is this, as I get older I much, much prefer to be "selfsexual" - meaning I no longer want or feel I need a partner. I don't consider it just masturbation however as I feel it is my "sexual-preference" to NOT be with another person. In fact, truthfully, I never enjoyed having a partner. I am realizing I was probably always selfsexual. I would love to get your opinion and insight on this.

Is being selfsexual a legitimate and "okay" way to be?

Dear K,

Great question. I'd say YES, being self-sexual is a legitimate choice. Many people could do with a conscious period of focusing sexually on oneself exclusively. For me, some of those periods were work related and others were simply to heal after a love affair ended badly.

Recently I went through a phase of contemplating, "To fuck or not to fuck" was my question. Since I am in the second half of my eighties, partner sex seems like too much effort. Especially since my private practice of teaching women about orgasms is as intimate as any date I've ever had. Plus group masturbation during Bodysex workshops several times a year.That's a lot of action for an octogenarian.

Yes, I believe there are folks who prefer to be self-sexual over dealing with the complexities of another person. And there are many people who simply don't have a choice, so self-sexuality saves their day. That said, if some special person showed up and the vibes were Great, knowing me, I'd most likely go for it again. Maybe. Meanwhile I do enjoy the sex I'm having with myself and all those dirty fantasies I've collected over the years.

Happy O's on our terms,
Dr. Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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A solosexual, mastubatory lifestyle is trending

Sun, 10/23/2016 - 01:08
Martha B (not verified)

It's always so interesting to see the questions on here and I especially love yours. If you check around you'll find that solosexual or pansexual or masturbatory lifestyle, or masturbation hobby... regardless of what you may call it, is a fast growing trend among both young and old. I've even heard it could eventually even be an additional letter to LGBT. Many who embrace a masturbatory lifestyle do so with zeal and confess to enjoying the most sexual satisfaction in their lives. And because masturbation is so convenient and on their terms, it can be spontaneous and more frequent.  No longer relegated to a dinner date and schedule a couple tines a week, most confess to eventually ejaculating daily or more, even throughout the day.
There is real appeal there, especially now that we know how healthy that frequent ejaculation is. My own boyfriend and I enjoy sex together on occassion but if you had to label us we would choose solosexual since we both masturbate so much and get much out of it. We support each other.
But one does not need to be entirely solo. Many solosexuals network now, connect online and in person and in groups to enjoy masturbation together and support and encourage each other. 
I believe this is an unseen and quiet but profound revolution.
But you still must dog into the journals to read about it. I have only seen a handfull of public media articles so far.

Countering the alleged benefits of frequent ejaculation

Sun, 10/23/2016 - 07:58
bila kolbe

Hi Martha, I concur with everything you wrote about a solosexual lifestyle. In fact, I wrote a book, "The Rejuvenating Power of Masturbation"( that reinforces the concept that masturbation is one of the healthiest forms of exercise available to us, especially when it is done with an understanding of how our bodies' many systems respond to sexual stimulation. Regrettably many people believe that frequent ejaculation is a presciption for healthy living when there is no conclusive evidence that this is the case, especially when looking at the content analysis of semen(vitamins, minerals, trace elements, aminoacids, enzymes, and cancer-fighting agents). The study done by the AMA with 30,000 participants is rank with unscientific methodologies and erroneous statististical analysis. Please check out my blog on this study: "Semen gets a bad rap"

I'm me too big fan of this lifestyle!

Mon, 10/24/2016 - 20:56

Yes it's very trending. My wife anf my we love this lifestyle! I always look to connect with people they have this lifestyle. Personally I like also to have my personal masturbation coach as I get more satisfaction this way!!!