At the Age of 87 I'm Still Having Orgasms

Fri, 05/06/2016 - 15:22
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Way back in 1972, I hammered out an opening sentence for my first and last article for Ms. Magazine. “Masturbation has been part of my life since the age of five. It saw me through childhood, puberty; romantic loves, marriage and it will happily see me through old age.” That same sentence also introduced my first self-published book that actually established my future; Liberating Masturbation: a Meditation on Selflove.

At that time, I viewed teaching sex as a short term break from easel painting in my 29th Street studio. If you would have told me back then that I would become a primary spokesperson for this humble sexual activity, I would have laughed heartily at such a bizarre idea. However, words represent thoughts and thoughts create form and so it came to pass. I was dubbed, The Mother of Masturbation! What began as a lark became a career path while my art career fell further and further behind.

As a former art student who had drawn from nude models for over ten years, I was a trained observer of the human body. One of the exciting aspects of sixties sex parties was observing people having sex in pairs and “pretzels” which was when several joined a couple. Oh those heavenly images of people in the throes of sexual pleasure that at times bordered on ecstasy. At one point during the first sex party I attended; I became aware that my eyes actually burned from not blinking afraid I might miss a precious moment of exquisitely divine erotic action.

After several more parties, I became aware of how few women were having orgasms during sexual intercourse with men— whether they thrust slowly or quickly, for a short time or for quite a while. However, seldom were men ever aware of this as most women were superb actresses convincing men they were the best fuckers of all time. Perhaps the desire, ability or need to please men sexually is encoded in our DNA.

According to my own experiences, I knew how difficult it had been for me to have an orgasm during partner sex until I met Grant, my post marital lover. He simply added clitoral stimulation during vaginal penetration at the same time. Lo and behold, I was coming very easily, every time. This simple change in our lovemaking had a profound affect on me. I could say that it was the basis of my desire to teach women about orgasms. The amount of energy I’d spent struggling for end pleasure was directed into my feminist dedication to teach women about our primary sex organ for pleasure…the clitoris!

Today at the tender age of 87 I’m still having orgasms with my favorite dildo for vaginal penetration while a vibrator dances around my clitoris as I fantasize freely with no holds barred. I give myself permission to imagine the unthinkable…the dirtier the better. So I welcome you to join me to celebrate the Masturbation Month of May!

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

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What???

Mon, 05/30/2016 - 00:11
Julia Michaels (not verified)

So women are still accepting that tired old myth about penetration alone that brings about "vaginal" orgasms? How sad that they can't explore their bodies themselves and share this with their partners , instead of stroking the male ego by pretending! I found this out for myself as a teenager, and taught my husband about the clitoris 35 years ago, and we've had no problems at all with sex in our marriage. None! It's been wonderful! Now, it looks NOTHING like what you see in a typical porn film and here's the real deal ladies: all the sex that you might see on the big screen is false, if somebody isn't stimulating the clit, with their hands, their partners hands, or their mouths, then they're not coming, and if you see a women coming through just penetration and thrusting, then that's just a total fraud of an orgasm. Now, I'm not saying that penetration isn't sometimes pleasurable- it can be- but without involving the clitoris, not much is gonna happen. It's time for women to start getting honest with themselves and teach your partners!, otherwise you have no one to blame except yourself!

Woman to woman

Sun, 09/25/2016 - 22:26
Maisy (not verified)

I just want to thank Ms. Betty, a true icon! 
I commend you for your honesty, as a 20 year old woman who comes from a relgious background, where sex is shamed; I applaud you. 
[= 12.8px]I hope to be as helpful and fearless as you are![/]
Keep doing what you are doing, Betty 
- Maisy 

Orgasms for male ego?

Tue, 11/01/2016 - 02:36
Vibraringlove (not verified)

"Perhaps the desire, ability or need to please men sexually is encoded in our DNA."
I agree with you on this,  because I recently wrote on why women fake orgasms and in the course of doing the research , I can say that all the source I checked point to the fact that women do this in order to satisfy their man's ego.
However this faking is now like bad in the days because, most men will easily know when their partner fakes her orgasms these days so its better to come out clean,  let him know penetration alone may not bring you to your orgasms and this will improve the sexual life of both of you.
If you have your orgasms the right way, even in your orders age, you'd still desire to have an orgasmic-inducing sex.

Orgasms for male ego? What else are you suppose to do???

Tue, 11/01/2016 - 09:40
??? feminist indignation ??? (not verified)

What else are you suppose to do if he comes and you don’t? Look like a fool for not being sexual? I think not. Understanding our sexual being and being able to see that in someone and allowing them to see that in you, trumps self consciousness or ego any day.

Simply goes back to Betty’s mantra about people need to learn and teach others about our sexual bodies. That learning is in many cultures very difficult to talk about. It is a bit deeper than that because that in order to learn people have to be secure enough in themselves and with others that they can open the book so to speak.

It is about creating connection with in people between people and as community and then it is more likely we can as community talk about and learn such mundane things as reading, milking cows, soccer, cooking, cleaning, medicine, caring for one anther and oh yes sex would be on the list of mundane things to learn and do.

Well said feminist indignation.

Thu, 11/03/2016 - 18:58

How to have sex with friends, lovers, wives, husbands all begins and ends with Masturbation.

Betty Dodson

Taught Your husband

Mon, 11/07/2016 - 03:11

I congradulate you on having the courage to teach your husband what you like. In the past, I have asked women what they like, what would they have me do for them and so on. 100% of the time I got no answer from them or "Just keep doing what you are doing" which is no answer at all.
If a man is not pleasuring a woman the way she wants then it is up to her to say something. Men are not mind readers although most women think we are.
Same thing for a man, open your mouth and tell her what you want. Communication is the key ingredient to a happy sex life.

Julia, As a women who has

Tue, 11/22/2016 - 01:55
Radvag (not verified)

Julia,
As a women who has been experiencing multiple orgasms since my early 20s I'd like to say that I have experienced orgasms through penetration alone. Very pleasurable vaginal orgasms.

Way to go Betty, you lead and

Fri, 01/06/2017 - 07:49

Way to go Betty, you lead and the rest will follow you would love to see that lots of woman all enjoying mastuyrbation, the floor would get the shakes.

NOWHARD

difficult orgasm

Sat, 02/25/2017 - 15:46
setareh (not verified)

dear dr. dodson

reading your articles i could experience orgasm by stimulating my own clitoris ,i am 55 and never experienced orgasm with my spouse , he comes in 3 minutes ,and doesn't use much foreplay , or oral sex. so i don't have much time to masturbate during partner sex . and i begin to masturbate or use massagor after he fells asleep . he says i am cold and many women come in only 3 minutes so for many years i felt i was sick and didn't ask for sex much .  on the other hand i have had contraceptive pills for many years. i have 3 girls and these days i feel i want more sex although i don't orgasm with him . unfortunately i can not find a dildo in my country iran .  it is not legal but i use massagor on my clit and i come in 3 minutes by clit not vaginally . could you please advise what more i can do. i have started kegel excercises as well. 

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