Way back in 1972, I hammered out an opening sentence for my first and last article for Ms. Magazine. “Masturbation has been part of my life since the age of five. It saw me through childhood, puberty; romantic loves, marriage and it will happily see me through old age.” That same sentence also introduced my first self-published book that actually established my future; Liberating Masturbation: a Meditation on Selflove.
At that time, I viewed teaching sex as a short term break from easel painting in my 29th Street studio. If you would have told me back then that I would become a primary spokesperson for this humble sexual activity, I would have laughed heartily at such a bizarre idea. However, words represent thoughts and thoughts create form and so it came to pass. I was dubbed, The Mother of Masturbation! What began as a lark became a career path while my art career fell further and further behind.
As a former art student who had drawn from nude models for over ten years, I was a trained observer of the human body. One of the exciting aspects of sixties sex parties was observing people having sex in pairs and “pretzels” which was when several joined a couple. Oh those heavenly images of people in the throes of sexual pleasure that at times bordered on ecstasy. At one point during the first sex party I attended; I became aware that my eyes actually burned from not blinking afraid I might miss a precious moment of exquisitely divine erotic action.
After several more parties, I became aware of how few women were having orgasms during sexual intercourse with men— whether they thrust slowly or quickly, for a short time or for quite a while. However, seldom were men ever aware of this as most women were superb actresses convincing men they were the best fuckers of all time. Perhaps the desire, ability or need to please men sexually is encoded in our DNA.
According to my own experiences, I knew how difficult it had been for me to have an orgasm during partner sex until I met Grant, my post marital lover. He simply added clitoral stimulation during vaginal penetration at the same time. Lo and behold, I was coming very easily, every time. This simple change in our lovemaking had a profound affect on me. I could say that it was the basis of my desire to teach women about orgasms. The amount of energy I’d spent struggling for end pleasure was directed into my feminist dedication to teach women about our primary sex organ for pleasure…the clitoris!
Today at the tender age of 87 I’m still having orgasms with my favorite dildo for vaginal penetration while a vibrator dances around my clitoris as I fantasize freely with no holds barred. I give myself permission to imagine the unthinkable…the dirtier the better. So I welcome you to join me to celebrate the Masturbation Month of May!