Dear Dr. Betty,
I was wondering if you could clear up some confusion I have regarding strengthening your PC muscles and orgasms. What I often read is that kegels will often "enhance" your orgasm or have them happen more frequently.(Yes )
I also have watched a video with you talking about them and how they first came about helping women achieve orgasm for the first time (while initially doing them for incontinence). I know how much you stress that most women who do have orgasm through intercourse are achieving it through clitoral stimulation.
So my question is, how do kegels come into play with penetrative sex? Are women actually having "better" orgasms because they already do achieve it through penetration alone? Otherwise, I don't understand what kind of orgasm the kegels are supposed to improve. Do they help women achieve vaginal sensations that they've never felt before, leading to a first time vaginal orgasm?
Otherwise, wouldn't it seem that kegels are only sexually beneficial to the 30% of women who can climax via penetration alone? If they are beneficial for women who have trouble climaxing via penetrative sex (in my case, I seem to lose the clitoral sensations clitorally if I try to achieve orgasm by stimulating during penetration, however can achieve great ones with the double stimulating vibrators (vaginally and clitorally) or by using a regular one and alternating vaginal and clitoral. I don't get it.) how come I don't hear more advocacy about strengthening your pc muscles for the ladies who wish to achieve orgasm via penetration.
Can we PLEASE stop obsessing over Vaginal Orgasms that continue to plague peoples understanding of female sexual response? Yes, nearly every red blooded boy/man wants his woman to "come" from his penis. That's why porn emphasis this to fulfill every man's favorite fantasy. I repeat: men's favorite sex fantasy has become the Male Model of Sexual Response! This leaves women out of our understanding of Human Sexual Response.
First I need to correct what you claimed I said: "most women who do have orgasm through intercourse are achieving them through (some form of direct or indirect) clitoral stimulation. Like "Woman on Top" is getting indirect clit stim by pressing into her lovers body.
You ask: "Do they help women achieve vaginal sensations that they've never felt before, (Yes) leading to a first time vaginal orgasm?"( No)
Keeping the pelvic floor muscles toned is similar to keeping all muscles functioning. A toned pelvic floor muscle will enhance our vaginal sensations. These same muscles maintain urinary continence and regular bowel movements. They also support our internal organs and are very important for women wanting a vaginal birth once the baby enters the birth canal.
I have always questioned the stat that claims 30% of women climax via penetration alone. Given the vast number of women faking vaginal orgasms, I'd bring that way down to 10% or 15%.
D&R constantly states: "Vaginal penetration with clitoral stimulation at the same time." Our position seems to make the most sense for the largest number of women. Just like your best orgasm is with your vibrator that both penetrates vaginally and stimulates your clitoris at the same time. To translate that into sex with a lover, after he penetrates your vagina, you simply hold a vibrator on or near you clitoris for Happy Orgasms every time you share sex with your boyfriend.