The way I visualize an antidepressant working is similar to repeatedly thinking (feeling) I’m a worthless idiot and as that thought keeps repeating inside my brain; the drug breaks this repetitious process.
Similar to what most of us have experienced, first thing when I wake up, I start going over a jingle or a phrase that gets mentally repeated over and over and over again. The other morning it was “Three blind mice, three blind mice, See how they run, see how they run…!” Harmless enough, but a negative repetition that is consistently repeated again and again might become unbearable as it slowly wears down a person’s self esteem.
In my experience, building-up sexually pleasurable tension is very similar. During the process….it feels good, really good, getting better and better and then suddenly, BANG, the drug kicks in and stops the positive repetition. When that happens, I drop back to zero and must build-up again. It makes sense to block out repeatedly thinking I’m a worthless idiot. However, those good sexual feelings also get blocked and they’re needed to be sustained in order to have an orgasm, that delightful moment of release. However, I can imagine a tortured soul beset by mental demons that would be more than willing to sacrifice a stupid orgasm in order to feel some relief from self-hatred.
So there you basically have my take on antidepressants. One thing I find very disturbing is there is never anything on the label that says, “Warning: this medication can become addictive.” We now know that anti-depressants are indeed extremely addictive and coming off one requires gradually reducing the drug very slowly.
Back in the sixties, I was having a passionate sexual affair with a man who was on every medication available. They were prescribed by his well known psychiatrist; One pill to counteract depression, one to wake up, one to calm down, one to sleep, and one for good luck? He decided to come off “cold turkey” and was close to committing suicide for several months. I decided to save him by continuing our fabulous orgasmic sex convinced I could fuck him back to mental health. I’d never go through that again, ever!
All those pills never really helped solve the fact that he was unhappily married. However, he was convinced our orgasmic love affair saved his sanity. Today, my vast experience confirms that sexual repression can drive a person crazy while having an orgasmic renaissance can motivate someone toward recovery.
It’s also been demonstrated that simply moving and breathing deeply can often shake off a depression. Certainly stopping to masturbate to orgasm will change a person’s mood. I’m also a strong believer in diet eating fresh foods, avoiding sugar and packaged foods. Whenever I’m feeling sad or sorry for myself with a new ache or pain, I’ll smoke a little pot. As far as I’m concerned, Cannabis is a sacred plant that far exceeds some toxic chemicals put together by a big corporation dedicated to making money. Marijuana is Mother Nautures very best medicine for whatever ails me. And soon to be legal in NY State and acrosss the country. Whatch out Big Pharm, there goes a big piece of your bottom line.
Now at the age of 87, I’m at the top of my game. A lot of credit for my good health is being "Happy" as I continue to embrace the creative process, loving my work while also enjoying independent orgasms with sex toys and my very dirty fantasies. Every orgasm is a joyful moment that makes living so delightful.