Guilty After Girl-on-Girl Fantasy

Mon, 01/25/2016 - 10:05
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty..

I've never done this before....asking people for advice on this but I trust that you'll help...I'm 18 I'm a virgin...I masturbate often but not too much...when I masturbate I fantasize mostly about girls and rarely about guys...but I've never fallen for a girl or thought of girls in a romantic way ....I have had a few crushes on guys and fallen in love once...but I have a friend...she's bisexual and sometimes I want her to have lesbian sex with me and she wants to but after I masturbate to that fantasy I feel guilty...I don't know what's wrong with me ...

please help

Dear L,

There is nothing wrong with you other than growing up in a sexually repressed country like ours. Where sex is everywhere you turn but decent sex education and information is difficult to find. Welcome to D&R.

The concept of "virginity" is worthless. Since you're having orgasms with yourself you are already sexual. Congratulations! Do boys worry about being virgins? For them, having sex with a girl is a badge of honor or an accomplishment. A perfect example of our sexual double standard.

At your stage of development, experimenting with a girl makes sense and it's far more safe in terms of avoiding an unwanted pregnancy. My advice is to NOT have sex with a boy unless you have mastered some form of contraception. Go into our site and take advantage of all the information we offer freely.

Dr Betty

Liberating women one orgasm at a time

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.


Mon, 01/25/2016 - 13:38

Dear L
Please relax and enjoy your fantasies. Try not to get too hung up about labels, whether you're gay, straight or bi doesn't have to define you. It also doesn't have to be a permanent choice - you can try things and work out what's best for you. There's plenty of time and life to live out there.

Being orgasmic matters. Learning to listen to your body, getting to understand your reactions and to enjoy yourself, matters a lot.Only when you understand what works, can you share that with a partner, whether male or female.

And as Betty says, please don't even think about penetrative sex with guys until you have contraception sorted. Aside from the risk of STDs, no 18 year old needs the stress of an unwanted pregnancy.

Don't stress

Thu, 02/11/2016 - 05:33
Bianca (not verified)

Hey L,
I think it's totally fine and I wouldn't get caught up in it. I'm 22, and similar to you, don't think about females in a romatic way, though, when I masturbate, I usually only think of girls or watch lesbian porn. I too have kissed and experimented with other girls, and while I have enjoyed it, it's only ever been a sexual thing for me. In fact, I kissed girls before I even started kissing boys! Seriously, just enjoy yourself and your desires.